So shy when sober

[Pan]

So shy when sober

Hi Last Call. I met my husband on the internet. I told him how much I drank and he did not back off. He wanted to help. Mind you, he doesn't drink. I also told him I would be too shy to speak with him if I wasn't drinking. ie I wouldn't know what to talk about. He told me he would rather me shy. Well, we've been together nearly 6 years now and he has put up with a lot. The reason I am now AF is because I can't put him through my drunken rants anymore. But he did know right from the start I had a problem. No use not being honest.

Why not write to him and tell him your concerns. Then if you don't hear back, you haven't put yourself out there with a phone call. If you do, then I say go for it. If it works, great. If it doesn't then just put it down to it wasn't meant to be and move on. At least you will have made the first step to telling anyone else in the future if this relationship doesn't work out.

[Accountable for Me]

So shy when sober

Oh, definitely take it slow.

Also, I have to disagree with the others when they say 'honesty is best'. You have never met this person, right? Why not be yourself? You don't need to introduce yourself as an alcoholic or someone that has a drinking problem and is trying to get her life sorted. Why not just enjoy the conversations... he might just like you for you! You are making changes in your life now. You won't be that person you were before with the drinking problem if you commit to your sobriety. I would think this would be a conversation when there is intimacy and love involved. You know?

You are someone special no matter the circumstance.

I am reading a book right now that says most people nowadays, when meeting new people, put there problems out there right away. Like 'Hi, my name is so and so and I am an alcoholic. OR Hi, my name is so and so and I am depressed." The author says that admitting our conditions right off the bat is quite common but unecessary. The thing is, is that you are not that person. Addiction, depression, etc is a condition. The real person is inside of you waiting to be set free.

But I do agree that you should take this slow. I feel lonely all of the time. I long for a real man by my side. BUT there is no way I could really give 100% of me because I am still raw from my alcohol abuse. I am just learning to love myself.

Mr. Right will be waiting. You take care of you and in the interim; have some fun and stop cutting yourself down!!!

[last call]

So shy when sober

Thanks to all

:thanks: guys. Appreciate the come back. I'm going to be honest, but if he doesn't go there I'm not offering (for now anyway). I didn't post him last night bc I couldn't make up my mind. Today I will take his # and call. I'll let you know how I make out. Make out that sounds good. :H:H By the way the avatar is for IAD's birthday. Did you wish him a happy birthday? :thanks: again.