It's like this... a meeting room...

[KateH1]

It's like this... a meeting room...

AFM....I am not sure that I understand what you mean here and I truly want to understand and not make an assumption. Are you saying that somone who is comfortable with their progress with this disease and feeling good...(I hope some day to feel at the Top of My Game!!) but cannot do that as yet.Anyway...are you saying that if we are comfortable with our sobriety, we cannot feel hurt by horrible accusations and personal assaults? I am truly sincere in my question.

[gabby]

It's like this... a meeting room...

Hey wippers. I dont know what happened and dont wanna take time to look. I know your human and can get your feelings hurt. So I dont want to minimize that. But you have been around this block before here with people attacking you. When it comes to alcohol issues and people barking at you about what you say....so what. Your a strong lady and let it bounce off. And for heavens sake dont leave. Your helping far more people then not. Just know that.

[nancy]

It's like this... a meeting room...

Hi Work In Progress,

As I wrote on the other thread, I can see why some people might be offended at references to the word winners. I guess it brings up the old tough love versus enabling debate. But what you said is so mild to some of the things we have seen in the past. We had some members really attacking people who slipped and I vehemently oppose that. I think what you are suggesting, while it might be seen as annoying to those who reckon they are not winners, sounded reasonable and I hope people will learn to let those kinds of things slide in the future. Seems to make sense that if you want something, one approach would be to glue yourself to those who have attained it. Myself, I get something out of reading about the struggles and it's interesting over time that some people finally do make it.

I think anyone with a high profile here is bound to come under fire at some point. We are human and have different opinions. I hope instead of leaving you just decide to come less often or keep a lower profile. We have lives after all and need to keep the fact that this is an anonymous Internet forum in perspective.

And anyone else who is reading and has been offended recently by anybody, my advice is not to make a big farewell thread. You never know when you might want to come back.

Lie low for a while, take a break or lurk instead.

[gabby]

It's like this... a meeting room...

wipper snapper isnt leaving......we wont let her and she loves lots of us here and other important reasons too.

[inhiding]

It's like this... a meeting room...

Please....Senior members....I am new and trying to get this "what I thougt was a great place" under my belt....I have lurked here for 2 months and never seen this bickering before...if I had ,I would not have even linger one moment.....I have found some great advise...some drunken advise....but please quit the constant teenage argueing........I have enough of that at my house .....please....come back to me with your good advise....no matter who thinks what, who agrees with it,...I will choose what is good for me and what is not... I want what MYO was two months ago back....not this petty arguing....please...I'm trying to get my shit together for my self and for my kids and all I read about is your not getting along.
BU

[gabby]

It's like this... a meeting room...

she is far to smart for that also

[KateH1]

It's like this... a meeting room...

For anyone just now tuning in. RJ removed some very ugly and accusing posts written by one who created a "New Identity"....both WIP and I were ruthlessly attacked. I do not care how strong a person is, when personal attacks are made, time after time after time, with no real explaination as to why...it hurts.

I get why WIP has decided to leave....why bother to speak from the heart as others with for you to Fall. The very ones that you work so hard to try to help?? Makes no real sense! It is horrible to hear others here wish that you would Fall! Horrible!

I , like WIP and so many others that have worked to attain a life without alcohol stay to both pay it forward and to receive encouragement. Sadly....that no longer seems possible here. I was fortunate, when I arrived here.....I found some winners....some no nonsense former drinkers who helped to show me the way out......I shut my mouth and I listened and I learned.....I am eternally grateful...sadly, they are rarely here now. It seems that, people here for the most part.....prefer the "eternal strugglers"...the less serious and those that continue to drink and make excuses for years on end.

This greatly saddens me. RJ wrote a great book, gave us great tools and unselfishly created this website. All this, so that others could have an opportunity for recovery!

Yes, WIP...my friend....lay low.........share your gifts with others that appreciate you! I my friend, am right beside you!

[gabby]

It's like this... a meeting room...

bottoms up....sometimes you will find that good comes from some of this too. lessons learned. But for now just switch threads - the positive will come thru

[dexterhead]

It's like this... a meeting room...

To anyone new: Please read Nancy's post -- she is often the voice of reason. Since this forum was created, from what I understand, there have been frequent "flare-ups" over certain key issues. This is a wonderful forum with some very strong-minded members who sometimes clash

[KateH1]

It's like this... a meeting room...

Thanks, Dex...you said it perfectly.....it is far better not to comitt, not to get involved.....just "mod" and "slip" and post your brilliant thoughts......Thank You! You have given me more answers than anyone else today!

[Ripple]

It's like this... a meeting room...

I can only go to meetings now..

providing i want to be sober. This is what my counselor explained to me today. I was being treated not well at AA when i was telling them about wine on weekends. I felt left out and hurt when one woman said, you are doing nothing for us here saying you only drink on weekends! You offer nothing for the group and are not serious about sober life. OKAY, i said thats it for them and went to hell. So it is like a meeting, whether it is on-line or in a church basement, i witnessed many long-term sober people very upset with me about my using and coming to their group.

Just my 2 cents.. Ripples.. :l

[beatle]

It's like this... a meeting room...

Kate, again, I am wondering where you are coming from. I can take the tough approach of both Chief (he straightened me out a couple times) and the often rigid, scientific approach of WIP, who always intelligently explains her point of view and leaves room for differing opinions.

But I can't see where judgmental and sarcastic comments add to attaining the overall goal of the large majority of members here. As I said in another post, I can't help but conjecture about your aims, and in fact, your state of mind.

Ripple, I'm sorry you have had a bad AA experience. I've only ever gone when I was AF and it didn't help one bit. In fact, it drove me to drink. So I don't go anymore and I feel empowered-- I'm AF and happy... I don't need or want to go to depressing meetings where people indulge in mass self pity while they severely judge others. -- But that's a whole other bees nest, isn't it?

[KatieSmiles]

It's like this... a meeting room...

My two cents

We are all individual beings.
Life is not painted in black and white.

Please realize and respect that.

K

[Ripple]

It's like this... a meeting room...

Beatle says.. to go to depressing meetings where people indulge in mass self pity while they severely judge others. -- But that's a whole other bees nest, isn't it? WOW.. you are so right.. i take no sides.. is someone trying to pull me down?

Ripple .. :thanks: