To WIP, Kate, and everyone else here who may be offended by my rambling on about 'tough love' here, yesterday.
I met with my P.O. yesterday and what did I do when I got home last night? Yes, you guessed it!
I know that I purposely drank and had planned it all out in my head as I was leaving her office yesterday afternoon. I should not have logged in here and even attempted to post. Going on and on about how long term AF'ers are being harsh to others here that can't seem to get it or whatever.... Since when was that any of my business?
I expressed my thoughts the day before and should have let it die. I am sorry if I had caused any more drama to all of this.
WIP - the reason why I didn't respond to your PM yesterday was because I was drinking. I am truly sorry if I had upset you. My posts were not intentially directed at you. You have seemed to take ithem personally; and I can understand why. You have been 'attacked' in the past from members who think you are too 'tough', or that you are placing a 'holier than now' image here.
I don't know what has gotten into me the last couple of days. I guess I am very sensitive to the drama here and got sucked in the vortex. Or maybe I am just jelouse of others resolve and commitment because I can't seem to really commit deep down inside to sobriety?
Anyway, I am very sorry. I am sorry for getting defensive here. I am sorry for posting under the influence last night. It was wrong.
I am really starting to feel that I don't have much to offer on this site anymore. Nor am I getting anything from this site anymore. The drama is too much for me; and then I get sucked in..... and end up hurting people from time to time.
I have some issues that I need to address like what alcohol has done to me in the past and why am I still drinking? I have a TOX screen then I run home to get plastered? This is wrong and destructive thinking. I am glad that I am in counselling because there is something there in my brain that can't accept that I have a problem with alcohol - although I KNOW I have a problem with alcohol.
Well, enough of this ramble. I am sorry for upsetting anyone. I am not looking for pitty here - I am truly sorry.
I met with my P.O. yesterday and what did I do when I got home last night? Yes, you guessed it!
I know that I purposely drank and had planned it all out in my head as I was leaving her office yesterday afternoon. I should not have logged in here and even attempted to post. Going on and on about how long term AF'ers are being harsh to others here that can't seem to get it or whatever.... Since when was that any of my business?
I expressed my thoughts the day before and should have let it die. I am sorry if I had caused any more drama to all of this.
WIP - the reason why I didn't respond to your PM yesterday was because I was drinking. I am truly sorry if I had upset you. My posts were not intentially directed at you. You have seemed to take ithem personally; and I can understand why. You have been 'attacked' in the past from members who think you are too 'tough', or that you are placing a 'holier than now' image here.
I don't know what has gotten into me the last couple of days. I guess I am very sensitive to the drama here and got sucked in the vortex. Or maybe I am just jelouse of others resolve and commitment because I can't seem to really commit deep down inside to sobriety?
Anyway, I am very sorry. I am sorry for getting defensive here. I am sorry for posting under the influence last night. It was wrong.
I am really starting to feel that I don't have much to offer on this site anymore. Nor am I getting anything from this site anymore. The drama is too much for me; and then I get sucked in..... and end up hurting people from time to time.
I have some issues that I need to address like what alcohol has done to me in the past and why am I still drinking? I have a TOX screen then I run home to get plastered? This is wrong and destructive thinking. I am glad that I am in counselling because there is something there in my brain that can't accept that I have a problem with alcohol - although I KNOW I have a problem with alcohol.
Well, enough of this ramble. I am sorry for upsetting anyone. I am not looking for pitty here - I am truly sorry.
It happens !! Just like we have to take care of Business every once -in awhile ha! LOL IAD
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