april moon - I am ok. I am fine, I just wanted to share the post about dealing with the past and could not quite figure out if it affects the future. That is all. I do not have a husband, but desperately, in my darkest hour need one. If I lie to you then I am not being honest to myself. Not sure if this is a cop out and me wanting the greener grass on the other side. Either way, trust me, I am fine. What they have done for me on this site is amazing and that is why I feel able enough to say look this happened, do I have to disclose it. Will it make me better. the only thing that will make me better is sucking from you all and staying sober. These people are angels in my darkest hour and today my darkest hour came to pass. :h
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i want some advice from the experts - you!!!
april moon - I am ok. I am fine, I just wanted to share the post about dealing with the past and could not quite figure out if it affects the future. That is all. I do not have a husband, but desperately, in my darkest hour need one. If I lie to you then I am not being honest to myself. Not sure if this is a cop out and me wanting the greener grass on the other side. Either way, trust me, I am fine. What they have done for me on this site is amazing and that is why I feel able enough to say look this happened, do I have to disclose it. Will it make me better. the only thing that will make me better is sucking from you all and staying sober. These people are angels in my darkest hour and today my darkest hour came to pass. :h
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i want some advice from the experts - you!!!
Maddy,
It has been a hard road for me too, lost my parents at age 1, many things happened growing up....all I can say is if a walk in the woods and smelling the bluebells is going to make you feel better then do it....it's simple therapy, but sometimes works for me. My happy place being a pine forest and sitting by the Lake. I've also decided that maybe the best therapy might be to try to help someone that has had some similar bad experiences. I'm still trying to find the place to do that...I've contacted the Boys and Girls Club to volunteer. I know you have to deal with painful past issues, and I'm not a therapist, but there is a point when you need to look forward.
((hugs)) Bright
Everything I need is within me!
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i want some advice from the experts - you!!!
no please don't say that wip and how much i respect you, you will never know. But i cannot be dealing with models. My life is such that models are outdated and do not cope with it. I just feel I should put it to rest and let it lie. That simple. I take on board your meditation practise, that is what i take to heart. It sort of sorts me out. I just wanted to share with you how they figure on curing me and I say that with a gobstopper in my mouth. I know I have a problem. I know I am borderline death. But I know I can reach out and you all hear me and answer. that to me is enough. my secret army. help me get better
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i want some advice from the experts - you!!!
maddiva;550480 wrote: april moon - I am ok. I am fine, I just wanted to share the post about dealing with the past and could not quite figure out if it affects the future. That is all. I do not have a husband, but desperately, in my darkest hour need one. If I lie to you then I am not being honest to myself. Not sure if this is a cop out and me wanting the greener grass on the other side. Either way, trust me, I am fine. What they have done for me on this site is amazing and that is why I feel able enough to say look this happened, do I have to disclose it. Will it make me better. the only thing that will make me better is sucking from you all and staying sober. These people are angels in my darkest hour and today my darkest hour came to pass. :hRUM IS POISON AF since 09/28/09
"The hangover last a lot longer than the buzz!!!" quote from FloridaBoy
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i want some advice from the experts - you!!!
bright lite will I ever get to sleep today? thank you. I too want to do good. Put myself forward to be a foster mum. What a bloody joke that was? sorry we can not accommodate you. Yet I would get a lot from the kids and vice versa. So the establishments win. Sad aint it? lots of kids suffering and lots of adults suffering too but for the establishments well what can I say..?
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i want some advice from the experts - you!!!
Dear Maddiva,
It is interesting that I just went back, yesterday and reread my oldest posts. It was of my lowest times when coming to MWO. It was a point when I had simply had enough. I had had enough of therapy, enough talking about all the bad stuff that happened to me growing up, enough of understanding that it was not my fault, enough feeling guilty for things that were not my fault, enough feeling guilty for things that were my fault, enough mourning those who I have lost and left me feeling abandoned, enough of knowing that I had not received the love and protection that I deserved, enough! enough! enough! When was I to start to live? How was that to happen? You posted above, just put the bloddy bottle down. I can speak only for myself, but that is when I started to live. That is when I, in time, began to feel brief glimpses of joy. Then more and more the state of well being began returning to my life. I am not saying to take or not take the anti depressants. I am sure they will not help while continuing to drink. I understand wanting to be done with talking and talking. You know what happened, you know how it made you feel, you know it was not your fault. I agree with Evie. Abraham Hicks words and messages are powerful and life changing. I believe the best way to STOP doing something (drinking) is to START doing something else. For me, I began to focus on my internal dialogue and consiously changing it to positive messages. My focus has been on me. And no, that is not selfish. That is self preservation. We cannot be anything for others until we are our best selves. Imagine your sister in a beautiful place, in total peace, filled with joy and happiness. Hers was but a brief time in this earth life, and yes her end was tragic, but focus now on her peace. Do the same for your mother... Bringing our thoughts around to positive and peaceful focus can bring about life changing results. Make a plan for yourself. Write it down. List all the positive changes you want to make. Have them somewhere that you can see them. Focus on them. Make them your reality. You are THEE most important person in your life. The more you do this, the more you will begin to be fully present in the moment and live in the now... I send you love and support."It wasn't all I wanted, but all I could stand!":bigwink: Alcohol free since April 8, 2008
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today was shit. It was the shittiest day I have had in a long time. guess what ? I got through it and only just. It was just horrific. But honesty prevailed. Thank you and that is all I want to say a major big thank you and you know who to and who I mean.[/I]
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Hi Maddy, I was on citalopram for post natal depression for my 2nd baby (I self medicated with booze for the first) and it was a whole different experience...once they kicked in. For the 1st 2 weeks my stomach had butterflies all the time, I was anxious, couldn't sleep, couldn't eat, felt no joy - I thought 'This is what I'm trying to fix, it seems nuts that I'm getting all the symptoms worse on these pills' but I stuck it out and once they kicked in they really changed my life...it will get better mate.
xo
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i want some advice from the experts - you!!!
bestlifeldms;550509 wrote: Dear Maddiva,
It is interesting that I just went back, yesterday and reread my oldest posts. It was of my lowest times when coming to MWO. It was a point when I had simply had enough. I had had enough of therapy, enough talking about all the bad stuff that happened to me growing up, enough of understanding that it was not my fault, enough feeling guilty for things that were not my fault, enough feeling guilty for things that were my fault, enough mourning those who I have lost and left me feeling abandoned, enough of knowing that I had not received the love and protection that I deserved, enough! enough! enough! When was I to start to live? How was that to happen? You posted above, just put the bloddy bottle down. I can speak only for myself, but that is when I started to live. That is when I, in time, began to feel brief glimpses of joy. Then more and more the state of well being began returning to my life. I am not saying to take or not take the anti depressants. I am sure they will not help while continuing to drink. I understand wanting to be done with talking and talking. You know what happened, you know how it made you feel, you know it was not your fault. I agree with Evie. Abraham Hicks words and messages are powerful and life changing. I believe the best way to STOP doing something (drinking) is to START doing something else. For me, I began to focus on my internal dialogue and consiously changing it to positive messages. My focus has been on me. And no, that is not selfish. That is self preservation. We cannot be anything for others until we are our best selves. Imagine your sister in a beautiful place, in total peace, filled with joy and happiness. Hers was but a brief time in this earth life, and yes her end was tragic, but focus now on her peace. Do the same for your mother... Bringing our thoughts around to positive and peaceful focus can bring about life changing results. Make a plan for yourself. Write it down. List all the positive changes you want to make. Have them somewhere that you can see them. Focus on them. Make them your reality. You are THEE most important person in your life. The more you do this, the more you will begin to be fully present in the moment and live in the now... I send you love and support.sigpicEyes on the PRIZE, a SOBER Future !!!
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i want some advice from the experts - you!!!
Now I truely Know Why
OMG, Evie, Best, Maddie etc.
I am so glad I kept reading through these threads thus far, it took me back to a place I haven't visited for a while and for the first time I don't find myself crying uncontrollably.
It did not occur to me until this moment how much I was focused on 'the way' my parents and my nephew died, mine eyes are open now. THANK YOU . . .
I will follow your advise and Make That Plan, Write it Down, List Positive Changes, Keep the List where I can See It, Make Them My Reality and move Forward.
God Bless each and everyone of you for being here in MWO. I feel so much stronger!
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Abraham Hicks vs Esther Hicks
Hi Evie, I have read a number of your threads, very inspiring indeed. The reason for this post is because I am trying to educate myself on having a AF lifestyle.
I need a little quidance here though, I was reading Maddiva's thread and hit on your response regarding Abraham Hicks. So I went on-line to do some research.
Am I imagining things or is Abraham Hicks actually a psychological entity that Esther Hicks has created to make contact with aliens to acquire the 'Laws of Attraction" for a better life?
At the 'Google' web-site I keyed in Abraham Hicks and I scrolled down and clicked on Esther Hicks-RationalWiki, what I read rather surprised me. Any thoughts would be appreciated.
:thanks:
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i want some advice from the experts - you!!!
Quick Note:
Hi Evie, it's okay you need not respond to my question earlier abt. Abraham Hicks, I just read some of your other posts and threads and I understand now. I am relatively new to the realms you speak of in your writing(s) yet I am not opposed to new age science.
However, I will keep researching various things before I decide whether there is any credence to what Esther Hicks aka Abraham Hicks has to share.
My philosophy is Never Take All that You Read or See at Face Value.
(Unless it's from the Bible).
God Bless . . .
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i want some advice from the experts - you!!!
polaryzed;552380 wrote: Hi Evie, I have read a number of your threads, very inspiring indeed. The reason for this post is because I am trying to educate myself on having a AF lifestyle.
I need a little quidance here though, I was reading Maddiva's thread and hit on your response regarding Abraham Hicks. So I went on-line to do some research.
Am I imagining things or is Abraham Hicks actually a psychological entity that Esther Hicks has created to make contact with aliens to acquire the 'Laws of Attraction" for a better life?
At the 'Google' web-site I keyed in Abraham Hicks and I scrolled down and clicked on Esther Hicks-RationalWiki, what I read rather surprised me. Any thoughts would be appreciated.
:thanks:sigpicEyes on the PRIZE, a SOBER Future !!!
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