Urgent e-mail from grandson

[queenie65]

Last weekend I was on a stuper & my Fri drinking turned into a sat..all day drinking trying to recover from the Fri---we all know how that goes....My Older grandson brought my younger grandson over on Sat to stay the weekend with his father who lives with us ..I didn't know anyone was coming but thru my stuper I came out of my room & saw my 2 grandsons...I was polite , shocked & went back into my room..I was embarassed.... I stayed in bed basically to recover... but also knew that the kids would but, not on purpose, need the TV the computer etc... so, I sort of enjoyed my space & room....
On Tues I received n email from him (my oldest grandson) & it hit me smack in the face.....It broke my heart .. No excuse here but I do not get drunk every night & I don't think he has seen me ever in the super I was in... I'm going to share his email as I know it took a lot of strength to write it to me----I only wish there was a cut off valve to stop ...Most things can be repaired why can't we----

Dear Grandma,



What is your deal?!

Why do you keep drinking?!

WHY, WHY, WHY, ????!!!!!!!!!


You know what, im not gonna pretend your not throwing your life away with booze. Im sorry if you think grandpa is hard on you!

But hinding behind alcohol is not thee answer! Getting drunk and using that as a excuse to rail on grandpa is not the way!

Your stronger than that

I cant bear to keep on seeing you drunk and deprived of sleep and food!

It brings a tear to my eye because we all are just pretenting that you dont have a problem and hoping that it will all work itself out.....

How can you let me and little grandson see you like this? How can you make him hear these things about his grandmother?

To tell you the truth grandma, Im too scared to tell you this over the phone much less in person. I admit that, hence this email. But you are one of thee most unselfish, caring human beings I can ever think of! I pray that more people in the world (including your great grandchildren) have at least a small hint of the care and compassion you have for other people!

And I fear that if you keep on this same path, you and grandpa will not continue to be together. And that will break my heart more than you can ever imagine.....

Grandma, you and the love of your life need to sit down and really talk about what the both of you feel inside. You need to remind grandpa to keep his cool and try too listen to your standards......But I have never been the one too tell people how to run there lives.

And believe me, I know you are trying, I do. I saw the book form tv on your counter about how to help you with this stuff. And I am so proud of you for doing that! Cause that shows that you really dont want to be like this. But it is so unhealthy to always be in those states of mind. Its not good for your health. For the last few weeks I have been having problems with myself and problems with my girfriend..

To tell you the truth, it made me depressed for a few days. I then end up getting a bad fluu cause of it. I knew it was from my emotions cause when I decided to be happy and healthy again I fully recovered form that horrible fluu the next day! And I never get sick.


I also feel very bad for grandpa. I see him trying to keep his head up and a smile on his face, but you can so tell hes hurting from all this. Like all men, he tries to hide it, But you can see the great sadness and despair in his soul.

Now only you can decide to stop this problem. The family can help as much as you want to. But YOU have to be the one that decides to stop.

Grandma, I love you more than you may ever know. And the family is always here for you. But its time to decide grandma....

ITS TIME TO DECIDE!

What will it be?

Right now, what will it be?!


DECIDE NOW, and choose how to make a plan to stop it!

DECIDE NOW, and choose to find people who want to help you!

DECIDE NOW, and choose to make you and everyone in your life experience a taste of happiness and joy!

You have a choice to keep going down this same road. Or you can CHOOSE to stop and never do this again.

Please for the sake of yourself, your husband, your children and grandchildren....



!!!!!!!!!!!!!!DECIDE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!




With all love I can give,

Your Grandson,

I cried & cried & cried & still can't step up to the plate----How sick is that ?????? I emailed him back & thanked him for his email & how brave it was for him to send his email to me & the pain that I have made him suffer thru.....I wish I could have made him a promise...


this email is the propery of my grandson & my self...If you would like to forward it please ask first.....

[maddiva]

Urgent e-mail from grandson

I really do not know what to say, but I shall have a good go!!!

Dear Queenie

I know you feel bad, but do try not to. You are human and you did not mean to have this happen. Now personally, I think if your grandchildren have never seen you like that then that is a good thing. It means you are functioning. I am glad you did not promise, cos that is my mistake, my kids have cried and I have promised and guess what I broke the promise!!! Just promise yourself. You are trying and my thoughts are with you. Do not worry I would not reproduce your email. It is personal..... Thanks for sharing it.

[southernbelle47]

Urgent e-mail from grandson

:l
"Come to Me (Jesus), all you who labor and are heavy laden;and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and My burden light."

Matthew 11:28-30

The yoke Jesus is talking about is like the one where they put two oxen together to share a burden.......we all have heavy things to bear in our lives.......He is ready to share your load. It's the only way I have found in my life that works....

Queenie.......give it to Him....

:hNancy

[Boss.man]

Urgent e-mail from grandson

There's a lot of energy in that letter. You didn't give ages, but I'm suspecting the writer is about 13 or 14, about to become a man. The letter itself shows engagement and trying to reach out in his world. So by yourself, you are part of a bigger world in which he is joining. For instance, he mentions the impact of his emotions on his illness, and concludes with a statement staying it "never happens".

When faced with a direct question, as you Grandson cogently concludes with, you need not give a direct answer. "I've found the problem is very complex, and am actively working to seek a path...",would work in a generic sense. Of course, to gain credibility you actually need to gain a path. teenagers are hypersensitive to people who say one thing and do another.

It's a great time to use the connection and grow it, and also talk to your inner self about what truly is controlling our actions, and how well that works. Life is never easy. He could be writing about your cancer treatments, or your stroke, or your knee replacements. How is AL different from those?

[Evie.Lou]

Urgent e-mail from grandson

There is so much help waiting here on this site..I recommend that you DIVE into the program head first...read the book get the sups and start peeling back the layers of this disease...
The tools are her...it is up to you to use them.

[BecomingMeAtLast]

Urgent e-mail from grandson

Queenie,

You have such wonderful grandchildren to do that for you! What book did they see? What are you going to do now? I'm glad you're not making false promises and I hope you take care of yourself, this is a beautiful, loving, caring letter. I also hope you are able to let that love in and surround you enough to make the changes you want in your life.

Take care,
Be

[LVT25]

Urgent e-mail from grandson

Wow. What a wonderful reason to get sober. Do it. You won't regret it. Priorities.

[hart]

Urgent e-mail from grandson

((((Queenie))))

That sure hit home. I too have been embarrassed that I am still drinking when my hubby and I told our 14 year old that we were quitting. Yet, he comes over and we are still drinking.

Queenie, do you know why you drink? I mean, I know for me I have an addictive personality, that I have other bad coping mechanisms that I don't resort to if I drink, that my hubby is drinking as heavily and we are sort of depressed, and I know the drinking only increases it...

Why do you continue to drink?

[polaryzed]

Urgent e-mail from grandson

Peel Back the Layers - YES

Queenie; Your grandsons e-mail is heartwrenching, tears are streaming down my face for him (and for you). :upset:

Just a suggestion, put your grandsons e-mail on the front of your fridge where you can see it everyday. And when you feel that overwhelming urge to drink. Instead, read his precious e-mail from begin to end.

Like what Evie said 'peel back the layers', your life is not always the open book you preceive it to be. Since I started visiting MWO and reading, I have done a lot of soul-searching and recognized things about myself I do not realized.

And a little child shall lead them . . . :l

[aprilmoon]

Urgent e-mail from grandson

My oldest grandson is 9 years old. The email you got from your grandson is one I don't want to get from mine. You know when they are little they don't know or I think they don't know. Mine are starting to get to the age where they would start to know....I find your email encoraging to me to stay AF.

[rubywillow]

Urgent e-mail from grandson

I just got home after a week away and yours is the first post I've read. It hit my heart like an arrow. I had my son and his girls come up to the cabin and meet w/ my daughter and her kids for dinner on Valentine's Day, and I still get the looks, the questioning from my children. But my older grandchildren are aware of what I was like before, and I feel they too are watching me. I wish, with all my heart, I never had to see that look on the face on those I love, but that bridge is burned. I just hope the younger children will only know the recovered me, the one I wish I'd always been. My little g'sons think I hung the moon, and I want to always be that for them.

[j-vo]

Urgent e-mail from grandson

Queenie,
Thank you for sharing that email from your grandson. I'm still crying. You've got so much love and beautiful people in your life. You're blessed.

I hope you can find the help you need here. I know I have abeit I haven't had the perfect recovery by any means, but progress, YES. So come to this site and read the posts on various topics. It helps incredibly well. People here are so very supportive.

Stay close. You've already made a great step towards getting better for yourself and for your family.

[MyOwnWoman]

Urgent e-mail from grandson

Queenie, think of all the good it will do for your grandson to see you get sober... he will carry that example with him for the rest of his days, helping to remind him of strength and courage, and will likely inspire him to continue to reach out to those he loves. You of course have to quit for you. But also you can be motivated by knowing how you can benefit those boys.
Hugs to you....

[Guest]

Urgent e-mail from grandson

Queenie, I read your letter as if it had been written to me. A few changes here and there but a reality check from the people looking from the outside.
I always think I am so smart and together, I never see myself "that other way."

Your grandson did me a GREAT service. Thank you so very much for sharing that heartfelt letter.

I would copy it myself and put it on my refrigerator, only I am not brave enough for the truth to be stated right there for the world to see.

Kind of reminds me of being afraid to go to AA in a small town in case you see someone you know. Someone said "If you are in a small town, they know you have a drinking problem anyway."
The very best to you in your endeavor in this battle

:keyhole:your grandson is peaking thru the keyhole, it's up to you to find the key and use it to open the door to your families future.:heart:

[queenie65]

Urgent e-mail from grandson

Thank you all for all of your kind responses.. MWO is a great web site & I enjoy coming here for encouragement & reading about others who are going thru the same thing..
His email is visual in my head & I hope it stays there...He's a beautiful caring grandson...I'm very lucky to have him in my life & don't want to lose him----
The book I've been reading is "The Alcoholism & addiction Cure" by Chris Prentiss.. It is a Holistic approach to total recovery.. He mentions many things & believes that it takes a carefully selected SUPPORT team to help to uncover & treat the specific reasons that we are depending on addictive substances...
I believe in his thoughts of having a blood chemistry analysis as part of the treatment.. There are so many other things to consider than to just think that I'm just an alcoholic. If our bodies aren't in tune or tuned up than a lot of things can go wrong...
It's funny but, I have found if I eat sugar or sweet things I will crave aolchol... It will send me over the roof...I have to check every label & try to avoid anything with high fructose...
MSG will make me a mess...So, thanks again to all..I haven't made any promises but trying to take one day at a time..