could use some encouragement

[poohbear]

Hello everyone, I haven't been on this site in a long time but felt the need to come on and post. I was 7 months sober and I ruined it last night. I have all of these thoughts and feelings just washing over me. I wish I could erase time and go back and change what I did, but of course I can't. I am scared to death to call my sponsor and tell her and even more scared to go to a meeting and announce to everyone that I screwed up. Part of me wants to just pretend it didn't happen and not tell anyone. I so don't want to have to change my sobriety date, I'm so freakin tired of doing that. This was my longest time going AF and it felt really good.

Where does one go from here?

Thank you for listening

Poohbear

[dill]

could use some encouragement

Pooh, I am no expert here, but I think you should be proud of your accomplishment of 7 months! I am in awe of it. Don't beat yourself up! Own up to it to your sponser. Talk it out. Learn from it and move on. Don't let it trip you up and send you backwards! You have made too much progress! We are only human.

[cymru]

could use some encouragement

7 months is great, so you can do it. But you have drunk and we all know that once the first goes down there is no stopping us. Phone your sponser and talk. They are there not only to take us through the 12 steps, but as a friend to talk to when we need one.
Write down the feelings you felt yesterday before you drank and write down the feelings you have now today. Be honest with yourself and keep them close so that you can read them when temptation is high again.
Let one day be just that. No more. Feb 21st or 22nd is the start of another 7 months sobriety and more.
Stay close

[hippie37]

could use some encouragement

Cym what planet are you on mate it's Feb here!!!lol

Pooh. I've been in and out of AA and have just found my home within N/A these past 4 weeks. I've seen nothing but compassion though for those that have relapsed because it's been said it's probably harder to admit that in a meeting than to admit we have a problem in the first place. So I agree it may be a tough thing to do but from what I've witnessed you will gain such relief from doing so. Honesty has always been the key within fellowships for releasing that guilt, shame and all those other horrible negative feelings I think.

Love and Happiness
Hippie
xx

[dexterhead]

could use some encouragement

Hey Pooh, I remember you, was wondering how you are doing. I am in awe of your seven months!!!! :happy:
It was one day ... it does not destroy your accomplishment or send you back to square one. JMHO .... :l

[cymru]

could use some encouragement

A momentary lapse in concentration! Thanks hipps!

[Miss Behaving]

could use some encouragement

poohbear;554319 wrote:

Where does one go from here?

Pick yourself up, dust yourself off, start all over again!

I think our achievement and our mistakes are less important that what we learn from them. That is the opportunity you have now ...... take it!!!

(although I feel such a fraud saying this!! Wish I could listen to my own advice sometimes! :H)

Go well Poohbear!

[tlrgs]

could use some encouragement

you keep on truckin along and learn .. dont beat yourself up ..hold your head up and be proud that you are not drinking tonight .. yesterday is gone leave it there ..the truth will set you free to move on ..
sty strong and think positive

[lilmea]

could use some encouragement

Pooh,

You've taken your first hard step by admitting your slip here. You will also feel better once you have called your sponser and talked to her. She wouldn't have agreed to be your sponser if she weren't will to help you through the rough times. There is lots of support here at MWO as well. Use this as a learning experience. You can do this.

[Reenie]

could use some encouragement

Poohbear: I can relate to you 100% I too have a sponsor... Well at least I did. Recently, I began to slip. I didn't have the nerve to tell my sponsor. I started to go to meetings less and less. I was going to meetings saying, "I'm fine. All is good. Haven't touched a drop, etc". I couldn't stand lying anymore. I couldn't stand lying to my sponsor, nor to my peers at the meetings I attened who I adore so much. As time went on, I called my sponsor and politely told her that I appreciated her help these past 7 months, but that I really don't think I'm an alcoholic. Quite honeslty, I know I am one. Anyway, I continued down the slippery slope. The more I slipped, relapsed, etc... the more embarrassed and ashamed I became. I haven't been to a meeting in a month. I haven't called my ex-sponsor to say, "Hello". I so want to go back to one of my meeting places, yet, I don't want to fess up that I slipped big time. On the otherhand, I have to remind myself, "This is my life. I'm not attending the meetings for everyone else. I'm attending them for ME. Everyone of us in these meeting rooms are alcoholics. They aren't perfect either. Let them think what they want of me. The main thing is I made it back". As you know, none of use gets abstinence right the first time around, nor the second and so on. The bottom line is, forgive yourself. Fess up to your sponsor. He/she might be disappointed that you didn't call before having the first drink; however, your sponsor will fogive you and to tell you to pick yourself up, dust off, and get back to meetings. After writing this, I think I need to take my own advice. I should have never wove a web of lies. I should just come clean with my sponsor and peers from the start. I really miss my meetings and know what I should do tomorrow. Thank you, Reenie

[Angelcakes]

could use some encouragement

Poohbear
Hey pooh, you said it!!!

xo

[Angelcakes]

could use some encouragement

"When you fail at something is when you learn & grow the most"

Hey pooh - you said it mate!!!

xo

[SKendall]

could use some encouragement

Pooh Bear, I'm sorry you are feeling bad. 7 months is a huge accomplishment. We fall down, but we always get back up.

I'm wishing the best for you.

[Still_Fighting]

could use some encouragement

Reenie,
I liked what you said, that you were in the meetings for you.

Reenie and Poohbear,
I would just like to point one thing out. When you were in a meeting, did you *ever* feel critical if you heard anyone discuss their slip up, or did you just feel compassion? I bet you just felt empathy and compassion. Never critical. I know it is really hard to go back in there, but try to not over emphasise the part where you're worried you're going to be judged. Let that particular pressure melt away, if you can. Your sponsor and friends only care for you and will probably only offer you kindness and support (IMO). Isn't that what you would do for someone coming back in?

Maybe you could go to a sunrise meeting, or lunch meeting the first time, when there will be fewer people there, just to get your feet wet? If AA helped you achieve seven months of sobriety, then I think you've really found something that works for you. I think you're pretty lucky in that.

Best of luck to you,
Still_Fighting

[Still_Fighting]

could use some encouragement

P.S. Poohbear,
"You're braver than you believe, and stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think." -Christopher Robin