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Moo's Plan
Still working!
Well I have just completed my sixth alcohol free weekend, or to put it another way 43 days AF. I am delighted with this, I really am. To add to that further, last night Mr Moo and I went out for dinner at our favourite Italian restaurant, where I would always have drunk a bottle of good quality sparking wine. I dont think I have ever been there and not drunk at all. Last night I did just that. I drank sparkling mineral water instead and still had a good time. A different time, but a good time.
This was set right at the start as the ultimate challenge for me. If I can do this AF on a saturday night and not feel cheated then I am winning and I am more confident that modding is a realistic possibility for me (or special occasion drinking as I am keen to name it in my case).
As usual I have had a few minor nags from the beast this weekend. But he abates much quicker and with less head talkthat before, plus I dont really belief him now which is the key.
Mr Moo and I have our little weekend break book for 11 days hence and I am allowing myself 4 days modding or special occasion drinking. I wont lie I am looking foward to it, but also very aware of the special care I need to take and that I will treat it as a little experiment too.
Love Moo"The greatest thing in the world is not so much where we are,
but in what direction we are moving."
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Moo's Plan
AF Easter.
April 10th (Good Friday). Well one thing is for sure, I started out wanting to be AF for lent and I have acheived this. Then I extended my goal at 54 days because I have a short weekend break planned for hubby's birthday and will want to have some drinks in this time. Then I will return to AF life for the rest of April.
Previously I would have used Easter as another good excuse for drinks. So I thought it was better not to drink to prove that I can do special occasions without it too. I am proving lots of little points to myself here.
My plan for Easter has just been to be really busy, which I am with lots of projects on the go to keep my mind totally occupied. Then no time to even analyse the situtation too much. Working a treat so far. Lots of gardening being done and exercise and cooking nice dinners and packing for our weekend break next weekend.
I even got Mr Moo to purchase a nice bottle of Champagne yesterday and bring it home to put in the frigde ready to take on holiday. There it sits in my fridge and I am not at all concerned about opening it. Yes looking forward to having it with Mr Moo on my terms and in my timescale but its not even registering when I pop in the fridge for milk! Result! Another test I appear to be passing! Its all good."The greatest thing in the world is not so much where we are,
but in what direction we are moving."
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Moo's Plan
Plan update.
I have decided not to set amounts or goals or anything else for my 4 day break instead I will do the following;
1. I will allow myself permission to drink within those 4 days (they will be the only 4 days this month as indicated on drinktracker). I will then return to AF for the rest of April and reflect on what I do with my 4 days before deciding where to go next. I may decide to drink on all four days or not at all. It is therefore a choice for those days only.
2. My tolerance ought to have dropped right down and I no longer know how I will be affected either at the time or later so I will be very careful if and when I do drink. My main objective is to enjoy the evenings, but enjoy the days too (without any adverse affects). So I need to carefully find my balance.
3. I will take my kudzu with me and take a little extra each of these days.
4. It is very probable we will be eating out for these days. I will not allow myself to drink during the day (not even one) as this is more likely to affect me more quickly and lead to a mistake. if I drink in the evening I will order water and drink that before during and after any wine I have. I will drink water before bed.
5. When I get back I will update drink tracker honestly and think about whether my few days of relaxing the rules was a success in my eyes or a failure. Then I will get back to being AF for the rest of the month and consider what I should do next.
I think this is it for now, but I will think a bit more about it over the next few days and add anything else that occurs to me before we go and read this again for clarity.
I cant be over confident by any means as I know I could fall flat on my arse, but I am quiety hoping that the new respect I seem to have found for AL and my ability to better ignore mt beast will be the key to success."The greatest thing in the world is not so much where we are,
but in what direction we are moving."
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Moo's Plan
51 days AF
I have done it. A complete Easter without AL and without missing AL. I am so delighted with myself. In addition, I am 2 days away from acheiving my initial period of planned abstinence. There is very little chance of this failing now as I simply will not allow it to happen and I dont want it to go wrong. I am much stronger where AL is concerned that I was. I feel that in times where I have planned not to drink I now know I can be successful and I also know I can do things and have a good time without it, be it with my husband, family or friends. The next stage is to see what a longish period of abstinence will do for those times when i want to allow myself some AL, but to not overdo it.
This week will hail me the answer......I'll keep posting......Moo Moo!"The greatest thing in the world is not so much where we are,
but in what direction we are moving."
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Moo's Plan
Holiday
well I am back from my hols....I had a fabulous time. I did drink on all 5 days. I did update drink tracker 100% truthfully, so the results are there for all to see. Overal I am pretty happy with the way it went. I enjoyed my evenings out and I was also able to enjoy my days fully.
The first night we were away, we had champagne. I did drink 6 glasses, but in fairness they are small glasses and I had them over a long time with water. There was an element of woo hoo champers, but thats me and I expected that. I also had a slight headach, but nothing in the order of the hangovers I used to get on sunday mornings.
The second day I had 2 beers and that was it. The third night was the man birthday and we shared 2 bottles of wine of the whole evening 6--11 and had one Baileys after that. Lots of water was had and I felt in control and happy throughout. Fourth night I had 2 beers again and the final night I had 3 glasses of wine. Then once back home, back to reality and happy to be there. Two days now back on AF time. I am going to see how I go. But currently i am committed to not drinking for the rest of April to allow some reflection time and to make sire no bad habits are formed. Then reassess. But currently, I think the more AF time i put in the better it will be for me. So, I will await a reason again before I drink again. I think we will be visiting family at the end of May and I am sort of thinking I will be AF until then. This will give me another good run of 40 days, at the end of which I allow myself a weekend with AL in it and see what happens the second time.
I did learn a few things. When I drink beer, i seem to be happier to stop at 2.
On the nights a drank wine, I slowly had more Kudzu and each time had a bit less. But it took quite an increase to make a difference,. So next time I will start off with the amount I ended with this time and see if that works.
i did drink lots of water with my wine. i did sip it and not guzzle it. I did enjoy it. I did not feel drunk, misbehave in any way. I didnt say anything or do anything I regret at all. I did not suffer from physical ill effects of a hangover (save a headache day one-minimal).
Overal I consider it a success. I am thinking that my style of modding is leaning towards sunbeams occasional drinker thing. Thus I am not soooo concerned if I go over 2 or 3 sometimes. If I only drink once a month or less, then its not so much of an issue for ME personally. I appreciate others would take a very different view, but thats a matter for them.
Moo"The greatest thing in the world is not so much where we are,
but in what direction we are moving."
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Moo's Plan
Well Done!
Hi Moo
Lovely to see your update, it sounds like you had a lovely weekend away with your hubby. Also, you were in control of your drinking. Well done you!:wd: I aspire to the occasional drinking method of moderating and you sound like it is working out for you.
After completing my 30 Days AF I tried to mod over Easter for 10 days. It didn't work out for me, kept drinking the whole bottle at warp speed and passing out! WHOOPS! My tolerance was lower too so I really suffered with hangovers.
So now I'm giving myself a slap on the wrist and am back to a 2nd stint of 30 days AF. If at first you don't succeed etc.
Keep in touch.If alcohol made you happy I should be the happiest person alive! I'm not.
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Moo's Plan
Hi Moo,
Glad to hear things are going as you planned. I hope the idea of occasional drinking works as well for you as it does for me.My life is better without alcohol, since 9/1/12. My sobriety tool is the list at permalink 236 on the toolbox thread under monthly abstinance.
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Moo's Plan
Hey Guys,
Blue Sky - Yes I agree try again. In a way thats what I am doing too. Although it was a success generally, I dont want to kid myself that I can let it all go now and stop caring as I would be back where I started pretty soon I think. Another period AF is the answer to making more progress I believe. Together, we can do this. I am also delighted that as well as helping me to see the error of my ways and get me through, my posts are in some way useful to others. Thats prefect. Also well done to you for 30 days and going again. IT all takes a lot of trial and error I think.
Sunny - thanks hunny. Yes it will be the way for me I think. For the reasons stated before. x
Its been a good week this week. Although I am stupid busy with work at present. We love the law! I have found that I have slotted naturally straight back into an AF existence without very much thought so far. I have only just realised its friday tomorrow! So far this week I havent missed AL and am thinkin about the next time I might drink here and ther, but only in a "contemplatory" kind of way. Still 100% committed to the rest of April AF, and then will try to set up a may plan, which i suspect will be largely AF as no big events planned yet.
Love to all you lovely lovely people.
Moo"The greatest thing in the world is not so much where we are,
but in what direction we are moving."
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Moo's Plan
Another AF weekend.
Its sunday night and I have just popped on to fill in drink tracker and I am happy to report an entirely AF weekend as I had planned. What is, to me, worthy of note, is that I have not missed it at all this weekend. There is no dount in my mind that this is getting easier. The week days (although never as hard) are incredibly easy now. I feel its s given that I will not drink on a week night, whereas I would occasionally allow myself one ot two on a week night (and it was occasionally) before my AF stint. There is a similar feeling to fridays now. Although, I guess its fair to say it crosses my mind that its a friday night and in the past I may have had a drink or two (very rarely a heavy night, and many fridays were AF), but thats the beginning and the end of it. The thought comes and the thought goes and nowhere in between that am I tempted to actually have a drink.
I think the fact that I know I will sometimes be able to drink a bit does at difficult moments sort of keep me going. That of itself might not be good, but at the same time, its my plan to allow myself drinks on occasions in this life, so I am happy with this at the moment. I believe that over time any thoughts at all of alcohol will dissipate into an almost nothingness, if this short period is anything to go by.
I am especially pleased with this week and this weekends results considering the fact that I gave myself permission to drink for a couple of days prior to it. I did wonder whether this would lead to a going backwards, but quite the opposite has happened. I have slotted back into the life I lead for 8 weeks AF with complete ease as though it has never been any other way.
I am so delighted with myself at the moment, but still very mindful that I need to remain vigilant and keep my records and notes on whats occuring, so that if or when a bad moment happens I can straighten it out immediately. I refuse to be arrogant where AL in concerned.
I am now fairly confident of remaining AF for the rest of April as only 4 week days to go,, thus not a major challenge. Thus I have to turn my mind to May. I wish to see a friend this bank holiday weekend and go out with her and have a couple of drinks without going too mad. I am not keen to set numbers and goals, just to say to myself what I did about the holiday, which is "enjoy the night without letting it ruin the next day". This is sort of becoming my little motto. I am learning what I need to do to get this right and will keep tweeking it further. I know I need to drink lots of water with AL, take lots of extra Kudzu and drink slowly over a long period of time and eat. If I follow this I should be alright.
So, I will allow myself drinks of saturday 2nd of May and then I plan to be AF for a further 26 days of may until hubby and I go an visit family for the weekend, when I will allow myself a weekend of modding again. That is the current plan and will be filled on on DT once May arrives.
Thats all folks......."The greatest thing in the world is not so much where we are,
but in what direction we are moving."
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Moo's Plan
Blip??
Last night I went out for a meal with my husband whilst we were waiting for my parents who we had dropped off at a concert to see one of their favourite singers. I had planned to be AF until the end of the month, but last night I did decide I would have a night involving wine.
The good stuff....I had the next day off work and it was a celebratory night and I made the decision to allow alcohol in advance of the evening, so it I dont see it as a massive cave in. I therefore planned and took extra kudzu and drank lots of water with my wine, we also had dinner. I did not get drunk, I did space my drinks out over the evening. I thoroughly enjoyed my evening. There were no negative incidents and I recall the whole evening word for word. I refused further AL when we got home knowing I had had enough. I stopped drinking wine after 3 glasses and had 2 vodka over the rest of the evening with diet coke to avoid hangover. And I woke up at 8.30 without much of a hangover. Maybe a bit more tired than usual today but that was it. Its also good that I have been honest on drinktracker and am analysising why I did drink today.
The bad stuff......I had planned not to drink until saturday this weekend, so slight feeling that I have failed to do what I said I would. And this is the first time since drink tracking that I have failed to do what I had preset. I feel that I had more than I would have liked to with it being a week night (but did have holiday booked for next day so slightly in vacation mode). I think I might have given in due to that monthly cycle issue and a bit of residual work stress and felt a need to release, but hard to say as I also felt it was not an inappropriate night to drink. That I feel a slight and it is slight guilt today for drinking is a shame, that might be more about the fact it was unplanned(until the last minute).
Overal, I am certainly not beating myself up for this. I have been generally delighted with what I have done so far since joining and things are so improved and even last night is a testamont to that. I am very aware of my drinking now, whereas i would not have thought too much about this before as there was no negative arising from it, it would have past unnoticed, now even this is a rarity.
So what next then...well I just get on with my week. I had decided not to drink until saturday (when I have a good friend coming to stay and we will be going out, this is a rarity for me and does fall into the category of "event" and will therefore mean I will allow myself AL that night. I dont see last night as a reason to change this plan, but I suspect it will make me more vigilant. I am also staying the night with a friend next tuesday for dinner, but it will be a work night with work the next day. It is a weeknight, so I will allow myself 2 glasses of wine with dinner. I dont think this will present a problem. After these two events I am going to do another AF run as already planned above and I think that I must to so with last night in mind, it reinforces the need to stay on top of this.
Now I have typed this all out and thought on it. I do not feel unhappy or out of control at all. I feel that I am a person who never likes to fail at anything and that if I set goals then there will be times that I do get it wrong. But for the reasons stated I am not of a mind that this is a great issue. I am of a mind to use the information wisely and learn from it.
Love Moo"The greatest thing in the world is not so much where we are,
but in what direction we are moving."
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Moo's Plan
Moo, you are doing well. Learning to control alcohol is just that: learning. It is not as easy as just setting goals and meeting them. You have to feel your way along for awhile, find your own personal balance. You learn when to make exceptions, and where to draw a rigid line. You aren't kicking yourself, and it sound like you're not. You are just learning.My life is better without alcohol, since 9/1/12. My sobriety tool is the list at permalink 236 on the toolbox thread under monthly abstinance.
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Moo's Plan
Thank you sunbeam both for caring enough to read my wafflings and for offering some words of wisdom. Its helpful to hear from someone who is trying to do the same as me. And you are right in 12 months when I am more practice, i might see no issue in occasionally breaking a preset decision if it feels ok, but at present, I guess I am still analysing each move to be sure.
Thanks hun
Moo"The greatest thing in the world is not so much where we are,
but in what direction we are moving."
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