Moo's Plan

[Joanna]

Moo's Plan

mooderator;565771 wrote: H
As I know I do not have dependency on AL, for me the issues are learnt behaviour over a period of years (habit, a cycle) which needs to be broken and learning that events where I used to drink are still worth going to and will still be fun if I dont drink.

thanks:

Hi Moo

I'd be really interested to hear a bit more about this as it has struck a chord. I feel I've got out before I got in too deep and had no withdrawal from AL. Would this mean I'm not dependent? The habit/cycle thing i do understand. But aren't they the same thing? Or not? Great to hear what you think on this

Jo

[mooderator]

Moo's Plan

FOR JO

Jo,

My thoughts on what you ask are thus;

I would preface it by saying, it might depend at what level we are starting as to how relevant this is, Im not sure. Can obviously only speak for myself. Just by way of brief background. I was only really drinking in any major way once a week, other than that I was either AF of very mod other times. When I did drink (most often a saturday) then it would be at least one bottle of wine, but sometimes nearer to 1.5 and even on occasion 2. I had got to a point where I seemed to be needing more to gain my buzz and was worried that I would get a bit stressed it I could not find a reason to let my lid off once a week. But otherwise I was clearly not physically dependent on alcohol.

The last 14 days have been great as not only have I not drunk at all, I have really spent time thinking about the issues, which I have not done before and addressing them. It is quite clear to me that i have convincec myself somewhere along the line that I need AL to have "fun" and without it things are not as magical. Which of course I know is nonsense really.

The habit/cycle, might be classifiable as psychological addiction, but for me I think it is more a habit (you might argue they are the same, I dont know) which infact with a little thought and planning is relativel easy to break. It has meant thinking about my actions instead of just going ahead and doing what I normally do.

just a few thoughts...if you want to chat more, please PM me,,,can be easier to communicate on one idea.

Love Moo

[mooderator]

Moo's Plan

Update....

...again guys feel free to tune out, this really for my records as it were.....!

Its day 17 AF...I am really pleased with myself and feel great in everyway. I know that I will not drink in the week, so I am as good as guarenteed 20 days AF!!! (watch it go wrong, NO).

I have had 2 saturday nights AF which are the hard times, that said week 2 was pretty ok and much better than week 1. I have so far used distration (working from home, early evening), and then avoidance (statying in and away from the pub/a restaurant). So this week I want to up the anti a little bit and venture out on saturday night so that I can remind myself that fun things can take place at this time too.

Thus, I am going to go out but to an non drinking venue, the cinema I think (Marley and Me!!!). At least this should be fun. Which is what I want to relearn how to do without alcohol before I consider modding and how I mod.

What I am finding is the key (for me) is having a good plan, which is reasoned and slowly progresses to slightly harder things each week. I guess it makes it s structured approach, but in my own way.

Anyway, thats all folks......

Moo

[mooderator]

Moo's Plan

Reminder.

Again this is stuff you guys will probably want to tune out to....its just a personal log.

Its day 19 of AF. I cant wait for tomorrow, just to get into the twenties!! It is going well. But for the first time yesterday I was tapped on the shoulder by the beast, in the middle of the week. He was not suggesting we drink there and then, but was asking whether it would reall be sooooo bad if we had a couple of glasses of champers at the weekend. It was a little persistent, but he did give up nagging in the end. I think he was being annoying because it is "that week on the month" if I can out it that way, when one is more vulnerable in general and might have given into the beast for one or two mid weeks drinks in the past. Never anything heavy, but nonetheless, he would have gotten his way.

So anyway, thanks to some diet coke in a wine glass! and some good friends (you know who you are, love ya) I argued my way out of the beasts advances and won my case! I am thus still AF and a little stronger for winning the battle. The beast has retreated again today, but I am ready for him if he starts again in the next couple of days. I am deterined to make it through lent completely AF and perhaps a little further....


Thanks for listening......love Moo

[Blue Sky]

Moo's Plan

Hi moo

Well done on your 19 days. You sound very optimistic.

Have found your posts about ways to get thro Saturday nights very helpful. I'm on day 4 and feeling great but I just know that the weekend and Saturday in particular is going to be a toughy.

[mooderator]

Moo's Plan

ITS FRIDAY

Quick note to self.

It is friday and I know that this weekend might be a battle as my beast has been nagging a bit about whether I really need to go 55 days (the answer is yes I bloody do). My beast has been sitting on my shoulder stating that I always set my goals so high and why do I do that. Well I am telling you beast I do that because I know whats best for me and not you!

My beast as stated above is in full flow because he knows that this week I feel generally more prone to feeling miserable and am more likely to give in to him. But I am telling him once again that I shall not. So I am going to run some errands now and while I am out I am going to get some nice healthy food for tonight and going to plan a night watching a couple of movies I want to see.

:h

[mooderator]

Moo's Plan

Triumph!

Day 21 AF and tonight is significant as it is a saturday and on top of that I have been out for a movie and a meal with my hubby. Not only did I not drink, I had no issue with it whatsoever. I feel as though I have broken through some sort of barrier. Whilst I dont say that the beast wont rear his head next month again, I know he is only one thought amongst many and that I can totally handle him. He has been beaten into submission this month and I suspect that is he returns, he will do so a little more quietly.

Here is to the next 34 days AF.

[Sunbeam]

Moo's Plan

Hi again Moo,
I guess you know that a goal of occasional drinking (less than weekly, not on a schedule) is optimum for me, and I don't quite understand why other moderators frequently drink significantly more than me. I would like to more clearly offer this path to you and others who may wish to consider it. A good chunk of AF time is important, and you will be successful in that. After that, it takes some experiementation. I really want to start a thread on this in the mods section, but probably not today because I HAVE to get outside. My comment of the moment is: goals are more important than rules. Rules are usually broken but goals can still be met. So be thinking about your goal, and realize that drinking moderately doesn't just happen after your AF time. Some AF people here seem to think that the more AF time you put in, the greater your success will be with moderate drinking. I don't agree with that: you have to put AL into the mix to figure out your relationship with AL.

[mooderator]

Moo's Plan

Sunbeam.

I think it would be very useful to start a thread as you suggest. It would be good for people to share different ideas about what modding means to them It is very clear to me having been here for only 3 weeks, that there are as many ways of modding as there are people doing it. There are bound to be those who see things very much as you do. As I am not yet modding, I remain very open minded as to how I will approach it. Thay said, I know I will have many weekends AF (week days are not and have never really been an issue).

My own point of view is thus; I wanted to have a good period of time without drinking so that I could re-engage with myself and just know that I can have fun without wine. After only three weeks, I feel pretty confident that I can and with everyday this confidence grows. For me perhaps it is strengthed the most when I go out and do things where I would probably have had a drink before and now dont.

Obviously I am still less than half way through my AF period, so it seems premature to overanalyse how I will mod. I intend to take it very gently and make a decision to have one glass of wine one evening and see how that feels. I will then take it from there.

[mooderator]

Moo's Plan

Update

Well I am almost half way through my intended period of abstinence (26 days completed of the goal of 55). It is going really well. Today was interesting as when I got home from work, I found my husband at home, rather than at work. He explained that he had quit his job. This is not the end of the financial world for us, as I am the major earner, but nonetheless is significant and may require readjustment. I felt rather put out that I had not been consulted but kept this thought to myself in the first instance, raising it only later and in a quiet reflective way after we had calmly discussed the next course of action.

What was interesting about this was I did fleetingly feel rather stressed and I had a sort of feeling that I wanted to do something but wasnt sure what it was. Later I realised that it may have been my brain thinking that a drink would be nice tonight, but that thought never actually came and I am damn sure it would have done 4 weeks ago. Thus, me and the hubmeister went out for a lovely long walk this evening in the sun and held hands and had ice cream and talked about our dreams for the house etc without having a glass of wine. IT was great to realise that I am naturally coming to manage stress in a new way and after such a short period of time as well. Frankly I am stunned.

PS if anyone has read this....hubby was possibly offered a replacement job some hours later (to be confirmed tomorrow)....he's a lucky b'stard. And no I didnt get an urge to celebrate this news with wine!!!!


Love MOo

[mooderator]

Moo's Plan

33 out of 55

checking in again...

its all gone a bit quiet actually. but its good. I have 33 days AF. I am plodding towards weekend number 5 and finding life is pretty great. Feeling really well, buckets of energy, losing that last few pounds I have been wanting to shift, and doing lots of exercise.

In addition, I dont seem to be thinking too much about drinking. It feels as if my mind has sort of accepted that it will not be allowed to entertain the idea of AL until after 55 days and is just getting on with it.

Saturdays feel like a normal day to me now, rather than being a day where I must drink. I am feeling able to plan to do things were I would have drunk in the past and know that I wont do so at present. Its a nice feeling. I have not had visits from the beast for a good couple of weeks.

I am quietly wondering how to approach AL at the end of my AF period and thinking that the Sunbeam style of modding will be my best bet, that is to say, having a generaly policy of not drinking at all as much as possible, having plenty of AF weekends and saving AL for those special occasions where I might want to drink. So it is an occasional thing, rather than a weekly thing. As Sunbeam puts it less than weekly drinking. This is my current thinking, but I beleive it will take trial and error.

Mr Moo and myself have been planning a long weekend away for his birthday, which occurs at the end of my AF stint, thus I am thinking that I will give myself permission to treat this as a special weekend where I can involve AL. What I am going to start considering is how much is too much, how many days out of the three will I allow myself to drink etc. I have plenty of time to think about it quietly and try to come to my own conclusion with the answer.

Thanks for listening......!!!Moo

[Sunbeam]

Moo's Plan

Moo,
Your plan sounds great. It is heartwarming to hear others considering this less alcohol approach to moderate drinking, because I wish during my AF time someone had been around advocating this. It might have saved me some anguish. Or not, sometimes we need to learn through the school of hard knocks.

[j-vo]

Moo's Plan

Hi Moo,
Your plan is working so well for you. You're taking all the precautions and really thinking through your AL options. I love the Sunbeam Style of drinking, although I'm drinking more than I'd like to. I've done great this week, but Sun is onto something really great. Occasional vs. Modding is quite different. That's my aim, my goal. You have a little while to think it through before going away with Mr. Moo. Write some things down that concern you, some goals, some ideas to curb your hungry appetite for AL such as Kudzu or L. Glut. You are already successful!

[mooderator]

Moo's Plan

Update

It is saturday and my afternoon is drawing to a close.

Yesterday, I had spa day with a good friend fo mine for her birthday. We had such a nice day, swimming, steam room and all that followed by a facial and a massage, then lunch. I drove, my friend had one glass of red with her lunch. I had no AL and best of all was not bothered at all. This is a situation in which in the past I might have tried to arrange to not be driving, or had one small glass anyway. Or even, I might have suggested that me and my friend go out for a meal in the evening for her birthday so that it would involve alcohol (an nice excuse as it were). So that the spa day may never have happened. Anyway, there are a few good things in there.

Because I had yesterday planned, I had failed to make an plans for tonight, saturday night being my major trouble zone, the last for weeks I have dealt with it by making a plan early in the week, thereby having time to have it all straight in my mind and planned to the last detail. I have not felt the need to do so this week clearly. Thus saturday day night has sort of come around without me noticing.

On the upside, I have only had a very mild hint from the beast that he might like a drink, but as I thought it has been much quieter and much more handlable than before and no more really than a passing thought which I have tried to just "dismiss".

After thinking about the options, I have invited Mr Moo and my parents out for a curry "at short notice" and all have agreed. This is a situation where I would normally have a couple of pints of beer, and this will be the first time have done this little event without booze. It doesnt feel too bad at all. But I thought it would not hurt me to bolster myself.
So the plan....

I will drive, thus being the designated driver.
I will ask for a jug of water immediately as I then have something to do with my mouth all evening.
I will order a pint of diet coke with my main meal.
I will take an extra kudzu.
I will go now and listen to my no drinking hypnosis CD.
Then I will go and have a pleasant evening out with myu family without being tempted to give in to the beast.

...Moo

[mooderator]

Moo's Plan

update.

Well, I didnt listen to the hypno CD as I got taken over by events and I didnt take any extra kudzu, but I did order lots of water and a pint of diet coke and I did drive. Whereas my Dad had one pint and my husband had two, I did not have any and I still had an enjoyable time. I did not feel as though I had missed out at all. It is a little triumph, because it was 5 weeks ago today that I last drank and it was in the same restaurant with the same people present. Great result.