Moo's Plan

[mooderator]

Moo's Plan

Thank you DEEBS x I am glad your parents are home.

Well I have now officically entered a time of AFliness. Hoorah. I started sunday and plan to go through until the end of october...this is sort of a reajustment again after the death of MIL and various of celebrations that rendered august and september modding months much more than occasional drinking months.

I have largely a clear calendar so that will make it easier. Its funny putting a timescale on it does make it more stressful in a sense and makes me think about AL a bit more initally. I think its the planning stages so to speak, as when I say think about it, I do not mean that I want to drink it, quite the reverse, I am reminding myself of ways to make sure I do not get tempted to drink it throughout the time period allocated for abstinence. I find it generally good for me. It focuses my mind on all things positve. I am eating really well and exercising a lot. I thinking of adding a good multivitamin to my supps as I am using this time to lose a couple of pounds gained during this last 2 months. This should only take a week or two, but if I can go a bit further and loose a bit more I will be dellighted.

[mooderator]

Moo's Plan

time to go through the october calendar and make a few notes and plans...to make sure the AF period is a success!!!! Here's to OCTSOBER

[mooderator]

Moo's Plan

It is funny when I plan a period of AFliness that extends beyond a couple of weeks, I seem to find I think about AL way more. I have been planning my AF october for the last few days...whilst being AF anyway...its odd, there has not been a desire to drink, but I have been thinking about the topic a lot! Weird right! I dont know, but it is as though my beast has to gets "its head" around the idea that it is not going to be allowed AL for a bit and mentally prepare for that prospect! I am happy with the idea, looking forward to it indeed as I find I seem to do more for myself when I actively go AF for an extended period. I am more aware of myself, so eat even better than usual, maybe do more exercise, find pleasure in different things, the cinema, food, a massage, time to read, whatever it is. I just re-engage with these things....which must be good right! But I am not sure why I become a bit pre-occupied with thoughts of AL...???

Anyway these thoughts are starting to ease. I have a belly dancing class tonight and then a very busy couple of day with work...so no time to even think about it. So that should assist. I think once weekend number one is done, I will settle better to knowing I will make it without major event. I am mindful of the fact that this next week is the run up to my period which is historically not my finest hour and the beast can get a bit naggy then. I have him in my sights and if he starts, I will come here and discuss it with myself!!!

I know that he is just one thought amongst many and can be dismissed. I am off to my class now....

Love Moo

[LookingToGrow]

Moo's Plan

Moo, are you going to start the Octsober thread?

[Shikakai]

Moo's Plan

I love your plan, Moo! I'll definitely have to try it out come the weekend. Weekends are dangerous for me... at least during the week I have my work to keep me "distracted", but our OctSober begins tomorrow, so I'm optimistic *cabbage patch* :thanks:

[mooderator]

Moo's Plan

HI LOOKINGTOGROW

THe thread for octsober is called OCTOBER CHALLENGE...it became known as OCTSOBER when someone cleverer then I thought of it! Angel I think? SO please come and join us there.

SHIKAKAI - any assistance you need honey PM me anytime....my plan is mostly ramblings as you will have seen, but of itself it has helped to identify when things go wrong/when they go right and what makes the difference.

XXX

[mooderator]

Moo's Plan

REVISE THAT

....we are now at OCTSOBER CHALLENGE!

[mooderator]

Moo's Plan

IRONIC!

Well I had planned this great amount of time AF and guess what, instead, I have just had my best ever MODDING experience this weekend. There is huge irony here. I could take the view that I had failed at being AF. And indeed it is an undeniable fact that I did. HOWEVER and this is the clever bit. I feel BRILLIANT about having been able to drink so little and BE HAPPY with that.

From keeping this diary and learning about myself I know why the AF thing failed this weekend. It is that week of the month. Somehow, whilst I can get through other weekends totally AF and barely notice, this one ALWAYS is hard. I also have a bit of residual "SOD IT LIFE IS TOO SHORT" following the very decent death of my MIL. Seeing someone die, right there in front of you, and still more than that, someone you love changes you forever. I am not saying this is a good excuse to drink. Quite the opposite, it makes you realise you dont want to be ill, let alone make yourself ill. I do think that sometimes I beat myself up too mcuh and overthink this issue.

I have really been missing this thread. The facility to waffle away to myself and say what I want to and know that no one else has to read it (they can if they wish, but its optional!!!lol) is very useful it learning about myself and finding what works and what doesnt.

So my goals for this week are to start posting on my plan again regularly, to get back to eating my porrigde for breakfast. Somewhere along the line I seem to have picked up the habit of eating toast for breakfast, which used just to be a treat. I am therefore going to make upself eat my lovely breakfast of porridge, bran and seeds, sweeetened with a little molasses. Yes its what the horses eat, but it is so good for you. I always feel set up for the day when I have it.

I will be AF for the week now anyway. And I am pretty sure I am on for an AF weekend as well next weekend. There are no events planned and it will not be a week with PMT in it. So it should be fine. I would really like to get a weekend AF in the middle of two AF weeks now. That is far enough into the future to look. Any more than that and I start to stress myself out.

Well thats all for now folks....Moo

[nancy]

Moo's Plan

HI Moo

Good work on moderating.

I think a cognitivie psychologist would say that if you deliberately resist thinking about something, that's all you are going to think about. Buddhist meditation addresses this, pretty interesting. Ever meditated before?

I wonder if you can come up with a more modest AF goal or be happy where you are.

Nancy

[mooderator]

Moo's Plan

NANCY

I think the key for me is not to set great expanses of AF time, but to take it a bit more a week at a time. I know I can go for several weeks without drinking at all and moderate reasonable well in between. You are bang on when you say by trying not to think about being AF, it becomes an issue.

As to meditation...I havent tried it in any really serious way, but it interests me greatly. I assume it is something you are into? I do a lot of breathing exercises which I believe is the basis of it. I would love to hear more from you about it, if you have time?

love Moo

[mooderator]

Moo's Plan

Well its THAT WEEK of the month! It is always such an uphill climb for me and to top it all off I am quite quiet with work this week, giving me time to think about how I feel! Always worse. If busy, no time to be miserable! I will be fine again in a day or so when the inevitable happens. I know what the malaise it, but it doesnt seem to make it any better!

I was fine yesterday, I did eat my healthy breakfast, but had a cake for lunch! But then I did a 2 hour bike ride, which I really enjoyed. Today I am at home. I got up about 9, eat buttered toast for breakfast! Then really struggled to get started. I have done a couple of hours work. Its just a struggle to get motivated, plus I want to eat everything that is not nailed down. Hey ho. This too shall pass. Just feel a little heavy hearted and struggling to feel like going to the gym. I might do a home exerise DVD instead as I am just not feeling much like facing the world today. I guess sometimes it is OK to be antisocial right. I spend every other day out in the world, and today I just dont feel like it. I am feeling pretty ok about being AF this week. Even though I felt very stressed about work or lack thereof yesterday evening I was not tempted to drink.

I am sort of writing today off as a non productive day. If I can just get the bare minimum done I will be happy. Bit of exercise and some house chores, then vegging. Tomorrow is another day and it involves my third belly dancing class!

Not a very positive post, but we are all allowed a miserable day one in while right!

[DeeBee]

Moo's Plan

Put your feet up and grab a good book Moo -- you deserve a day on the couch:-)

[tassimo]

Moo's Plan

Hey Mooderator,,we've all been there, and no, you cant be 100% every day! So look at the positive things --no drinking, a bit of work, an exercise DVD,,hell, thats more than a LOT of people can say about their day. Be nice to yourself,,,your doing great.

[mooderator]

Moo's Plan

THANK YOU GUYS x

You are both right and that is pretty much the view I have taken... here is to tomorrow.

[mooderator]

Moo's Plan

Have felt a little bit better today, still not my usual shelf, still eating what is not nailed down and a little negative. But I feel the cloud lifting. I did have a good time at my dance class tonight. I am off to bed for an early night and then hopeful I shall feel my normal self tomorrow.

On the AL front, I am doing fine this week. Happy being AF and given the time of the month, experiencing no cravings. Things are on the up!

I am definitely AF tomorrow and friday and sunday, I have question mark over saturday night at the moment. I am playing it a day at a time, and will see how I feel. I definitely want to get an AF weekend in soon. It might be this one, it might not. I am trying to to put pressure on myself as this causes me to think about drinking, whereas normally I am not doing so anywhere near as much as I did.

Night night