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went from unsure to strong again
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went from unsure to strong again
hi everyone..it has been a while since i have posted. things have been good. i was AL free for over 2 months but the last couple of weeks the beast had been in my ear quite a bit. I was doubting myself and my sobriety. i was just bored in general. so on saturday night i finally decided i was going to get a little buzz on. though i knew i would be disappointed in myself i desperately needed to scratch the itch. well i got a pretty good buzz and hung with a couple of friends (and did not get all stupid or anything), but woke up sunday miserable with a hang over and felt like it had ruined my whole day. after so long of being clean i felt totally polluted. point of this story was i realized i am not missing out on anything by being sober. i needed that night to put my choice in perspective. i am not that person anymore who is ok with the drink deciding her day's and night's level of motivation. I do not feel as though I need to make myself go back to counting day 1, day 2 ...I am still AF (minus one night) but now feel more secure about my decision to live a sober lifestyle. It is quite empowering really. i am going to try really hard not to beat myself up over my one night of weakness, instead i am going to consider it a test, a test that i passed. I am going to be on the boards more to keep my cheering squad close. you guys really do help so much! Thanks.I must suppress the beast within so I can find my way out of the darkness.
sober since 2/4/12Tags: None
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went from unsure to strong again
thanks betty...i got a new one that i need to post. want to know something ironic...i just got invited to put 5 of my paintings in...get this.......a local wine shop. they are up on the wall right behind the tasting bar...if these people only knew have of my paintings are stemed from my issues with alcoholI must suppress the beast within so I can find my way out of the darkness.
sober since 2/4/12
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