Wine was the man I was cheating on my husband with... Other than a few major bumps in my road of life, I was chugging (no pun intended) along pretty well and then I hit a pothole and started cheating on my husband.
At first it was just a chance meeting in a bar, I was there with friends while my husband was home. I knew after a few weeks that I was headed some place bad. My husband would ask me "are you seeing ?him? tonight" and I would just reply "Yes, but were only friends you have nothing to worry about, I love you and only you"
After a month or so I started seeing "him" on the weekends. I would go missing for a few hours to go shopping or to the movies, but when I would come home my husband knew I had been with ?him?.
After awhile I decided to bring "him" home to meet my husband to prove we were just friends. My husband didn't understand the relationship at all but let it go on without a word. My husband didn't like it, but he loved me and he didn't want to lose me. My husband would ask me to go places with him but I just invited "him" over to hang out and watch movies. I started hiding my relationship with "him". Hiding "him" around so my husband would see "him".
Then I started letting "him" stay the night at my house, still my husband said nothing. As long as I was home and not risking my life for "him". I assured my husband nothing would happen with "him"
I invited "him" on vacation with us. I spent more time with "him" then my husband.
Then I started sleeping with "him". After awhile my husband could no longer deal with it and he would just stay quite whenever "he" was in the house.
I started missing work to spend time with "him" or because I was up to late with "him"
I tried hard to end my relationship with "him". I stayed away from my friends and places I'd go with "him" I stopped seeing "him" on my way home, but still he would call me.
I always went back to "him". When I wasn't with "him" I would shake and think about "him" I would bump into "him" or find an excuse to be with "him" I knew "he" was no good for me. But I was in "love" with him, and the more I was the more I hated me.
I went to support groups, therapy and even went away for 28 days to escape "him". I would tell "him" I could no longer see "him". I once went 44 days without "him" so I knew I could, but sadly I bumped into "him" and ended up spending Christmas with "him".
My husband began to have hope because I didn't invite "him" over every night like before. I admitted to my husband all the things about "him". He didn't understand but he continues to fight for me against "him". He tries supports me when I try to leave "him".
He continued to follow me every where I went. I could hear "him" say to me, "just a spend a little time with me, I won't spend all night like I did before", but ?he? always would and then it would be a few days with "him".
I used to think I could have my marriage back if I just saw "him" every once in a while, but I know I'm so much better with my life and my husband if I don't see "him" again.
It's been 4 days since I last saw "him", and before that I went 7 days without "him". It's not easy, but this time I will not answer when "he" calls me. I have begun working on me, so I can forget about "him". Even though I miss "him", and I think of "him" I feel better about me without "him".
Tonight I will not stop at our meeting place, I will have dinner with my husband without "him" and spend the time with my husband like we used to, and I will not go to bed with "him". And just like today I will wake up feeling better.
I might not be done with "him" forever, but today I will be ok without "him"
Sorry for the long post..... Just needed to get it out of my head.
At first it was just a chance meeting in a bar, I was there with friends while my husband was home. I knew after a few weeks that I was headed some place bad. My husband would ask me "are you seeing ?him? tonight" and I would just reply "Yes, but were only friends you have nothing to worry about, I love you and only you"
After a month or so I started seeing "him" on the weekends. I would go missing for a few hours to go shopping or to the movies, but when I would come home my husband knew I had been with ?him?.
After awhile I decided to bring "him" home to meet my husband to prove we were just friends. My husband didn't understand the relationship at all but let it go on without a word. My husband didn't like it, but he loved me and he didn't want to lose me. My husband would ask me to go places with him but I just invited "him" over to hang out and watch movies. I started hiding my relationship with "him". Hiding "him" around so my husband would see "him".
Then I started letting "him" stay the night at my house, still my husband said nothing. As long as I was home and not risking my life for "him". I assured my husband nothing would happen with "him"
I invited "him" on vacation with us. I spent more time with "him" then my husband.
Then I started sleeping with "him". After awhile my husband could no longer deal with it and he would just stay quite whenever "he" was in the house.
I started missing work to spend time with "him" or because I was up to late with "him"
I tried hard to end my relationship with "him". I stayed away from my friends and places I'd go with "him" I stopped seeing "him" on my way home, but still he would call me.
I always went back to "him". When I wasn't with "him" I would shake and think about "him" I would bump into "him" or find an excuse to be with "him" I knew "he" was no good for me. But I was in "love" with him, and the more I was the more I hated me.
I went to support groups, therapy and even went away for 28 days to escape "him". I would tell "him" I could no longer see "him". I once went 44 days without "him" so I knew I could, but sadly I bumped into "him" and ended up spending Christmas with "him".
My husband began to have hope because I didn't invite "him" over every night like before. I admitted to my husband all the things about "him". He didn't understand but he continues to fight for me against "him". He tries supports me when I try to leave "him".
He continued to follow me every where I went. I could hear "him" say to me, "just a spend a little time with me, I won't spend all night like I did before", but ?he? always would and then it would be a few days with "him".
I used to think I could have my marriage back if I just saw "him" every once in a while, but I know I'm so much better with my life and my husband if I don't see "him" again.
It's been 4 days since I last saw "him", and before that I went 7 days without "him". It's not easy, but this time I will not answer when "he" calls me. I have begun working on me, so I can forget about "him". Even though I miss "him", and I think of "him" I feel better about me without "him".
Tonight I will not stop at our meeting place, I will have dinner with my husband without "him" and spend the time with my husband like we used to, and I will not go to bed with "him". And just like today I will wake up feeling better.
I might not be done with "him" forever, but today I will be ok without "him"
Sorry for the long post..... Just needed to get it out of my head.
awprint: RUBY Imagine yourself doing What you love and loving What you do, Being happy From the inside Out, experiencing your Dreams wide awake, 
Comment