I can't seem to stop

[Lotus]

My drinking habits are spiralling out of control.

I'm back to drinking everynight to excess. Last night I had a big argument with hubby. This left me drinking until 3am in the morning. I got 3 hours to sleep but couldn't face work today.

I look a complete mess, my head is sore, my temper is getting worse and my work is suffering. My health is deteriorating. My confidence is getting to a low and my husband keeps belittling me. I don't blame him though, who wants to come home to a wife who's trashed out of her head everynight.

I know what I need to do. But can't seem to get my head around it. I don't keep alcohol in the house, but by 6pm I'm itching for a drink and convince myself I need I deserve it

Please don't be nice - I'm in need of some tough love.

Mandy

[cymru]

I can't seem to stop

Hey Lotus. The only person who can really give you tough love, and the only person you have to listen to is yourself. There is help here and in other places, but the first big step you have to take. You have to not want to drink. To want to get better. Once that big decision is made, its time to set a plan of action. To start, I found it good to write down my feelings. How do I feel when im drinking to excess and how do I feel the day after. Then I wrote down how I felt when sober for a few days. also, the positives of drinking and the negitives. One list, im sure will be longer than the other.
I have tried many pills, potions and theories to make me sober, but none work. The day I decided I wanted it, rather than knew I had to do it was my start on the journey of sobriety. I am only at the beginning of the journey, but enjoying life more than ever.
It can be done, but its up to you to take the first step.
All the best.

[Arial]

I can't seem to stop

Hi Mandy,

What system do you have in place? I found that just wanting to stop didn't work - wanting's not enough, you need an action plan, you have to approach this as a battle - and not against yourself, but against the enemy - alcohol. You are as much a victim in a sense as your husband so get angry and get prepared to take back control. All I can suggest from my limited knowledge is that getting on board with all the tools to help can possibly give you an advantage over this enemy - I've had to go back to the CDs, to reading the book, to reading, reading, reading here, and just as importantly put things in place in your life to help you over the worst times - the 'drinking hour' - can you find something else to do at 6pm? (funny, that's my worst time too). - go for a walk (not in the direction of the booze shop!), take a luxurious bath, do something with hubby. I have been surprised to find that if I can get through those amazingly strong cravings it doesn't take that long for the cravings to go, but it's getting through those initial pulls.

I've found having a several-pronged plan of attack is the most effective for me, but the mind set has to be there - it starts from my mind - if you truly want to get the better of this and reclaim your life, your future, your husband, your marriage then you can start to get agressive and get active. When my mind wasn't there I didn't have the courage of my convictions and approached it half-heartedly, 'wishing' to stop but not getting very far.

So get armed, get set and view it as a personal vendetor against this thing that is currently claiming your life! You can do it and you'll be the winner. What's past is past - nothing positive about living with regrets, but learn from them, remember this feeling that you have now and build from there - maybe write down how your feeling - keeping a journal can remind you of how awful you felt when in the clutches of alcohol as well as being a record of your accomplishments! It's forward from here Lotus and you have a choice who's going to be in the driving seat - you or alcohol. Use whatever resources you can find to help you win this one - it's a battle but you're not alone!

Hang in there - as is said time and again, the journey of 1000 miles starts with one small step. Make that step today and know that soon the distance will mount up taking you further and further from the clutches of this thing we have in the past called 'friend'.

Many :l and warmest wishes!

[gyco]

I can't seem to stop

hi lotus tough love,you no that already with what Al is doing to you,non funtionable is the way i was,instead of a cup of coffee it was a beer or 2 at 3am after i had slept,,then work would get hard cause i tired faster,but then the thought of a drink in early afternoon where its consuming your hole life,then you awake one morning in a lane way,and all thts there is someone wanting to hurt you or help you,that's what this place is for b4 you get there welcom gyco

[lilmea]

I can't seem to stop

Mandy,

You've gotten some very good advice on here already. As you have been told, you are the only one who can do this. And you also have to do this for yourself, not HB, or the job, or anyone else. If you try to do this for someone else, they will always do something you can use as an excuse to drink. This sobriety is hard work and you have to make it the #1 priority in your life.

Read the toolbox thread in the montly abstainers section and read other post. Read and take notes. I actually keep a notepad and pencil on my desk for doing that. Use your notes and all this good info to make your action plan.

Start working on changing your habits. If you know when your whitching hour is, then do other things during that time. Right them down if you need to. Start excercising. It's not only a good way to get through a craving but will also help your over all attitude.

Become determinted to do this. Don't just wish you could. Because you really can! It does get better and it is so worth it.

[Seacailin]

I can't seem to stop

Well said everyone. I am just here to offer support. I have been where you are countless times. When the pain is great enough, I step up and do everything that I can to stay sober. It is certainly not easy. I use all of the tools that I can get. MWO, AA, prayer. I will do ANYTHING not to go back there. I hope that you are motivated by your pain and get well.

[DeeBee]

I can't seem to stop

I remember the feeling all too well. Hating myself, hubby disgusted with my behaviour, feeling like crap permanently but especially the day after .... but you can change this..... you can beat this!!