Announcement

Collapse
No announcement yet.

social stigma...

Collapse
X
 
  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts

    social stigma...

    ok i need help guys.... how the hell do i go out and not stand out like a sore thumb cause im not drinking or drinking less.any ideas on how to handle people who bully you to drink or wont let up????? and also what are some ways to say im not drinking without saying "gee its cause im an alcho"... i think that can make situations a bit akward and i dont need the world knowing my personal life... advice would be appreciated... :thanks:

    #2
    social stigma...

    Hi Sunshine
    I have to admit that i have been one of those bullies that you talk of. I would find myself badgering folks to "have another"..I used to con myself into thinking that I was just being jolly and * the party starter*
    I now know that i was the embarrasing ass that needed a kick up the afore mentioned!! So I apologise on behalf of me,myself and I.
    Anyway here are a few suggestions:
    "Oh, I would love to but I'm taking anti-biotics,thanks anyway"
    "Not for me tonight, I'm the designated(sp) driver"
    "I'm allergic to AL.."
    "Early morning work conference call or bring parent to school morning"
    Hope this helps!!
    XXX

    Comment


      #3
      social stigma...

      I'm on ante buse, so I can honestly say, "I'm on medication that I'm not allowed to mix with alcohol".

      Sometimes I used to say that I had a big work day the next day and needed a clear head.

      Comment


        #4
        social stigma...

        thanks guys!!!!!!!!! horizonsnew, i was one of those bullies at times aswell... i guess we all want people to sink to our levels really.... pretty low!!!!!!! karma i guess now that i will be the one dealing with them.... all your suggestions really helped....will put them all into practice!!!!!!! thanks

        Comment


          #5
          social stigma...

          No alcohol for Lent

          Medication interaction (womens troubles is a good one!)

          Your working on balancing your hormones

          Am doing a 30 day challenge - because I can

          I'm on a diet

          I'm detoxing

          I'm driving

          I'm doing a sponsored 'no alcohol' for charity

          Accept a drink and then quietly put it down (you have to be strong and sneaky for that one).

          Buy your own drinks and just order the mixer.

          Tell people you're economising and you have a hipflask in your bag (immoral I know, my brother is a licensed trade stocktaker).

          You're having bloodwork done and can't drink for a week.

          You're supporting your friend/distant family member in their quest to reduce their alcohol.

          You're abstaining for religious reasons(would only work with a new group).

          Your saving the money you would usually spend on AL for.........

          Your training for a sporting event.

          I hope some of these suggestions are applicable - I get my duplicity from my Mother.

          B
          Proud to be SLIGHTLY SLOVENLY.:wavin:


          [/COLOR]

          Comment


            #6
            social stigma...

            You got some really good suggestions sunshine!
            The medication one is good, they can't argue against it.
            Blood tests for your physical the "next day" would work too.

            I am to the point where I just say I've quit and leave it at that. For the people who push further ofr info, which actually happens less than you might think, I use the, "The medication I am on doesn't mix with alcohol" answer.

            I must admit, I don't care much what people think of me because I am trying to quit. Alcoholism is more widespread than I ever imagined. And though I know it is my responsibility to keep it from entering my lips, I know it isn't my "fault" I can't drink like so called normal people But I can aslso understand not wanting everyone and their dog knowing I am one!

            Good luck finding the answer or response that suits you best!
            Striving to live life without ALCOHOL

            Comment


              #7
              social stigma...

              WOW....great post Betty!
              Striving to live life without ALCOHOL

              Comment


                #8
                social stigma...

                Well thank you! I actually also just tell people I'm not drinking. Because I can. I've been lucky enough not to have anyone try and coerce me into drinking or question me further.

                Bxx
                Proud to be SLIGHTLY SLOVENLY.:wavin:


                [/COLOR]

                Comment


                  #9
                  social stigma...

                  Just say NO!
                  It always surprises me when I say NO thanks and it's not an issue or people don't look at me skwif and start pointing fingers my way saying "look, she's not drinking" LOL>
                  "The person who says it cannot be done should not interrupt the person doing it"

                  Comment


                    #10
                    social stigma...

                    You have been given lots of good things to say.

                    All I have to offer is carry a drink (AF) while at the social event. They don't have to know what's in it.

                    It's none of their business anyway!!!!!! Good Luck!
                    RUM IS POISON AF since 09/28/09

                    "The hangover last a lot longer than the buzz!!!" quote from FloridaBoy

                    Comment


                      #11
                      social stigma...

                      hi sunshine,if a person is bullying you to drink just say you've had enough,if it gets out of hand leave,i no its easier said then done,my dear people will talk about us when we drink,and they will talk about us when we dont,one of the best things about sobriety,is that at least you are in control,you no i wish you well gyco

                      Comment


                        #12
                        social stigma...

                        Its Awkward!

                        Great ideas.. thank you! Starting out Day 14 AF and in the last days have felt that going out to any bar or restaurant that is a party atmosphere would be self-defeating! I have a girlfriend that has been really pushy in the past about drinking and is kind of not talking to me since I quit... for Lent. I stopped drinking on Ash Wednesday.

                        Comment


                          #13
                          social stigma...

                          Tell people you're economising and you have a hipflask in your bag (immoral I know, my brother is a licensed trade stocktaker).
                          Lol Betty I like that one. The sad part is I did use to carry a pint in my purse so I could make my drink stronger with out paying for a double. Sad.

                          I usually just say No thanks. I don't really offer an explaination. I've never really been questioned as to why I'm not drinking. Most people don't care if you're drinking or not.
                          AF since 7/26/2009




                          "There is nothing noble in being superior to other man. The true nobility is being superior to your previous self."--Hindu proverb.

                          "Sobriety isn't a landing but rather a journey." anonymous

                          Comment


                            #14
                            social stigma...

                            Great thread with some really useful responses (Betty, yours were superb). This is the real spirit of the site, help with exactly these sorts of issues...well done for posting/replies.

                            I dont think it will be that often that I am pushed amongst my friends, but it will happen at some point and now I feel really prepared to deal. Have been using the AF for Lent (which is true) but it has not been questionned at all.

                            Mooooooo-oooo
                            "The greatest thing in the world is not so much where we are,
                            but in what direction we are moving."

                            Comment


                              #15
                              social stigma...

                              Hey name-sake!

                              I agree with whoever said that the bullying actually happens much less than you'd think. I found that while I fretted over what to say when asked - nobody gave a hoot whether I drank AL or not.

                              And Betty!!! You've just moved yourself to the top of my PSE-List! (PSE = People Suggesting Excuses) :H

                              .
                              Okay, WHO put a stop payment on my reality check?

                              Winning since October 24th, 2013

                              Comment

                              Working...
                              X