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    #16
    social stigma...

    Like I said - got it from my Mom!
    Proud to be SLIGHTLY SLOVENLY.:wavin:


    [/COLOR]

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      #17
      social stigma...

      I haven't had anyone question as to why I wasn't drinking in normal gatherings. Where I am from; anything goes. If you want to be a falling down drunk it is excepted. If you are totally into your health and don't drink it is excepted.

      I did encounter my biggest bully last summer. My sister. The swine. Anyway, she was drinking all by her lonesome when I went to see her. She kept badgering me. Saying I am 'boring' when I don't drink. LoL. I just stood my ground and said no thanks. She was pissed off; but I left feeling so great that she couldn't manipulate me into hurting myself anymore.

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        #18
        social stigma...

        i must hang out with nice people...they may ask why, and when i tell them i quit, they are fine with it.
        i think i might go off on someone who tried to make me feel bad for not drinking...that'd be good...never got in a fight while drinking, but kick someone's ass for bullying me about not drinking!!!

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          #19
          social stigma...

          I always use the 'I'm dieting' excuse. Though I have told my close friends, that I am giving my liver a break. They know how much I drank before and they believe this to be true.
          AF July 6 2014

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            #20
            social stigma...

            Yeah, I always find people respectful & sometimes a little in awe whe you're not drinking at a drinking function.
            But it's interesting to note that the non-drinkers are usually in the minority...like everyone's drinking except one or two - why do i think it's a problem for me but all those other drinkers don't seem to have a problem with it??

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              #21
              social stigma...

              Depends on your age and circumstances, but I'm trying to get pregnant would work.
              Feb 04 2009 80 days AF.
              AF May 23 09 to July 09
              AF December 16, 09 FORWARD.

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                #22
                social stigma...

                I like the one, "My stomach feels off". Most would not push you to drink on an upset stomach, wouldn't risk the consequences.
                My life is better without alcohol, since 9/1/12. My sobriety tool is the list at permalink 236 on the toolbox thread under monthly abstinance.

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                  #23
                  social stigma...

                  Some wonderful suggestions. I'm going to start using some of them... but not the "trying to get pregnant" one. People would know I was fibbing!

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                    #24
                    social stigma...

                    thankyou... all of you!!!!!!!!! i have had a good chuckle.... ha ha ha!!!!!!! you all rock and i love you all... i feel as though i have a whole new family.... is that strange..... love and light to all you awsome people... thankyou for taking the time to reply... sunshine... x x x x

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                      #25
                      social stigma...

                      ummm...all those excuses work for me until everyone else has had, like, three drinks and they are all drunk and i want to be with them....then....

                      Dove

                      sorry, i am feeling down and cynical tonight

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                        #26
                        social stigma...

                        dove, I think the hardest part of quitting alcohol are those feelings that we are 'missing out'. You look around and see everyone drinking and being all merry; laughing loudly, etc.... of course you would want to be a part of that. I think MANY of us feel that way; more so in early sobriety. So you are not alone, and I don't think you are being cynical.

                        Having a problem with alcohol totally sucks! I agree. I wish I could only have a few and stop.

                        There are so many benefits of giving it up though, as you know. Keep focusing on that. After some time you will be so pleased with your AF life and when you see people drinking, you won't feel like you are denying yourself . It takes time.

                        Cheer up. Sending hugs your way.

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                          #27
                          social stigma...

                          You could say, actually, I am really thirsty and would like a glass of water to start.
                          At some point get some club water with lime for yourself, looks like a mixed drink.

                          Or you could say you already had one and you are a lightweight, or you are a lightweight and will wait till after you have eaten. Or just generally, you are a lightweight and even one goes straight to your head so you don't drink much.

                          or you don't drink on weekdays, if it is a weekday.

                          Personally, would not use the allergy one. There's no factual basis for that and if you say it to an alcoholic who knows that, it's a dead giveaway. That's what I think when someone gives me the allergy line.

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                            #28
                            social stigma...

                            There are so many good ones here.

                            Dove -it is frustrating at first to see everyone having a great time and there's that sense of "I want to be part of that too." After 6 months AF I've found I find it more annoying now and just dont' want to be around that. I find my husband annoying if he's had more than 2 or 3 glasses of wine . . . my normally soft-spoken husband gets louder and argues more easily and it annoys me. I don't let it make me preachy because I am still healing from all the times I've been loud and obnoxious and made a jerk of myself, but I find I just don't want to be around it.

                            I have a friend who is diabetic so she can't drink because of that. I normally order a diet coke with her and all is fine.
                            Member since January 2008
                            AF since August 25, 2008

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                              #29
                              social stigma...

                              It's unfortunate that anyone would make an issue, but it happens, for sure. Tummy trouble, I'm taking new heart medication (true). But the one I like best is "I quit". If pushed, I say, "I found as I have gotten older that alcohol just doesn't sit well with me. I'm better without it." And I leave it at that... I ususally get "REALLY!" or "That's what I shoudl do!". I usually follow up with, don't let me dampen your time, I'm fine!
                              "It wasn't all I wanted, but all I could stand!":bigwink: Alcohol free since April 8, 2008

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                                #30
                                social stigma...

                                Bestlife, I really like your answers. It's true and to the point that alcohol and I don't agree with each other any more! It seems like the people who tend to not let it go are the ones who are perhaps thinking they might have a problem as well. I could be wrong, of course but that's been my perception. Anyway, thanks for the great responses.

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