Army Thread 14th March

[fickle]

Army Thread 14th March

Nighty nite Seabers,
I have a memory of going to detox about mmmm 10 or 15 years ago.. and I was the only person in there for alcohol. I was about thirtysomething. Everyone else was between 18-24 and all in for heroin. I was also the only person in there voluntary. They were all court ordered. The meetings they forced me to go to were in the church right next to where I work today so I seriously fear the whole connection becoming known.

[startingover]

Army Thread 14th March

I am not surprised Ficks, that is not a good experience.....
Mine was asking for help with my drug problem and being told if I didnt stop they would commit me to the looney bin....I was terrified..I never went back and i didnt stop either...

[fickle]

Army Thread 14th March

Well I don't take the nasty ones any more Starty.. no more morphine type thingos
I've realised a lot of my pain was from fear. You see I looked after some people I love who all died from age and or cancer related disease where they just kinda faded away in front of me. When the pain started I naturally thought it is happening to me! The pain killers messing with my brain did not help. I was actually ashamed of being in pain and was trying to hide if from everyone for ages.

Now I just tell myself I'm young and I have a 'sporting injury' and that is the attitude I must keep. Since I've stopped taking the drugs I'm able to show pain at work when I move about.. I've explained the situation and they don't think it's so wierd. So I've narrowed the pain down to certain times and actions and I expect it and I deal with it. At the moment it is not constant, only mostly at work during the 'get-up-sit-down' type scenario and at night when I'm trying to turn over in my sleep. So I figure I'm mostly pain free except for those moments.

[cymru]

Army Thread 14th March

All meetings are different, but everyone I have been to has been nothing but supportive. We are all there for the same reason. To get sober. There have been people going to meetings drunk, people who have walked out, but I have never heard a negative word said. Whan they are ready, hopfully they will come back. All I have done and recived are shares on the big book and what people have done to obtain and maintain there sobriety. I have cert never seen or heard of finger pointing, though there are many meetings with many different people. That is my experience to date anyways!

[fickle]

Army Thread 14th March

Oh Starty that is so scary!
I've had that experience too!! I had a GP look me in the eye once and say the only way was to give up my children and go away to a 'special place' for 6 MONTHS to be cured!!
No wonder I'm such a scaredy cat!

[fickle]

Army Thread 14th March

Cym I'm so glad you have such a great group.. honestly I think it's a bit like where you send your kids to school.. it all depends on the people there at the time and how great they are. You are in a good place! I'm so happy and proud for you!!

[cymru]

Army Thread 14th March

I really do think these docs need to spend more time with real addicts, and see the real world, what is happening to us, and less time in a warm classroom or posh meeting room listening and sharing opinions with people who have never been in the position we have. I can imagine how that would scare the living daylights out of you both.

[startingover]

Army Thread 14th March

Yes, its no wonder we are a little wary to say the least...

You are right Cy, I have spent my whole life feeling ashamed of myself when maybe I could have sorted myself out years ago when I first asked for help...

[fickle]

Army Thread 14th March

You know that charachter Netty lives in my country and I bet he/she has had the same shit
They did say earlier that they'd been to the doctor and got a lot of rubbish.
It's so sad!! It's such a MASSIVE issue for so many people!!

[startingover]

Army Thread 14th March

The trouble is, the first start is always the doctor...and more often than not they havent a clue.
I would like to work with addicts in some ways...

[fickle]

Army Thread 14th March

Starty I just wanted to say you helped me so much with the painkiller thread!!!
I honestly had no idea. My doc and everybody told me to take them and I had no idea they were actually increasing the pain!!! It's absolutely crazy what the medical community is doing!

[fickle]

Army Thread 14th March

I even stopped taking panadol for a few weeks.. lately I started it again and I've noticed the pain is worse! Not really sure if it's a chicken/egg situation but bloody hell! Long term use of painkillers is clearly NOT an option.

[startingover]

Army Thread 14th March

Ficks I am so happy it helped you, if it helps just one person it was worth it!
Sometimes I wonder if docs care at all what they are doing to their patients...
I have had less headaches, leg aches, back aches since quitting them. I think I have taken paracetomol or ibuprofen maybe 3 times this year wheras before it was strong painkillers just about daily...

[fickle]

Army Thread 14th March

Yes, that is so SHITTY that you went through all that Starty!! Like my doc nearly killing me with bloody Tramadol!

So I've let myself go for a while with the wine thing and find that generally I'm alright at modding... but blow out every few days or so. Still functioning so I guess that is something. Still conscious that I MUST STOP THIS MADNESS and still conscious that I will make up almost any reason not to.

Priorities at the moment are a bit like this: keep my family together: keep my job: keep our house: help my kids recover & do normal stuff: fix our house so we can invite people over & be normal: get a social life: Um.. KEEP FIXING STUFF - Somehow MUST find money for this darn treadmill and GET BACK ON MY HORSEY!! (my little euphemism for wagon methinks)

Cym.. my neighbour (also great friend) was 16 when her mom first went to AA and it was the greatest moment of her life. She is a shining example of what a wonderful thing a good AA group can be. She was 98 when I last had dinner with her about a month ago and in fine health. She lives in the US

[fickle]

Army Thread 14th March

Oooops a BAD typo.. I mean her mom is 88 (not my neighbour) - tee heeee