Why we drink...I need advise

[cjback]

Well, I know this is asking alot, but I am desperate. I'm facing a major move decision. After abstaining and w/d from meds my mind is in total chaos. I realize my self 'medicating" has been due to stress, dah, usually the case. But, I haven't slept a whole night in over 4 months, due to the med w/d etc. I moved to this place, which I HATE, to be closer to "family". Guess I'm finding out why I left in the first place...no support. Now, my question and I'll take any advise with an open mind: My condo may be sold, and facing where to go next? I have an option: to move closer to my aging father and brother (whom we never were close) but all I've got left. My son, who is closer to where I am now but is a very selfish man, and uses me. The move towards my dad would mean living in an elderly mobile home park, I could get in due to my disability. Finance wise, it would be about where I am at now, maxed out. Option 2: go back to the Sun state and be alone but a bit better on the finances and of course better weather!! Trying to listen to my "heart" and mind isn't working well, lol. I am in such a deep depression and no sleep is not good. I know this dilema is what's messing me up! I've made too many moves and afraid to make another mistake. The move towards my dad would be where I grew up and "familiar" but many painful memories, some good ones though. Plus I could help out my dad, giving me some purpose. The death of my best male pal in the sun state would be hard to go back too, but I had great times there. Trying to weigh the pro's and con's but nothing is really clicking. So confused and may have to decide very soon. This may sound "trivial" but its all I have, my security is my home, my social security ck is very low and I am all I have for support. Scared and confused. You guys listen and therapists have been a joke! Thanks and sorry to waste your times with my issues, just don't know where to turn. Thanks to anyone that has ideas? cj

[YoungAtHeart]

Why we drink...I need advise

CJ, Keep talking!!

Dear CJ,

I'm running off to work now, but I will be back later. I just checked in and saw your post. Please don't think that this is a trivial issue or that you are bugging anyone!!! This is a matter of profound importance to your future. I can't give your message the thought it deserves right this minute, but I will be back later. No one can completely advise you here, but you can write more and "think out loud" here on the board and get the feedback of others to help you make your decision.

Just for first impressions, I would say that facing pain is important though difficult (and advice I have to follow more often myself ). If your son uses you, who needs him? Let him come to you, sweetie! A sense of purpose is important, but you need to make sure you can manage financially.

That's all I can think of for now. Close your eyes and take a deep breath. Let your heart speak. It might be faint at first. What is it telling you?? Keep writing. Send me a private e-mail on the site if you want. I'll be happy to write back with my thoughts.

Hugs, Kathy

[mountainmama]

Why we drink...I need advise

Hi CJBack~

I've been reading a few of your posts over the last week or so. You have gone through some very painful experiences lately, both physically and emotionally. I really don't think that moving closer to someone who uses you is something that would be a good idea, even if he is your son. That could not do anything to help with the depression. I guess it didn't sound like you were very excited about the idea of living in an elderly mobile community, either. If what is keeping you away from your previous home is the fear of the pain you will experience when facing life without your friend, maybe you should look at that a little closer. Sometimes when we lose someone very close to us, it brings us comfort to be in the surroundings that we remembered our loved ones in. You do have a big decision to make, but please try to make the right one for your self, and not on account of others. Because you are special, and you do matter, and you will make it through this. You've touched me with your sharing, and I truley wish you happiness, and a sense of calm and peace.

Hang in there,:l
Mtnmama

[eelaras]

Why we drink...I need advise

Hi CJback,

Sounds to me like if you really sift through your post, I think maybe your answer is in there. While it might be painful to live in the sun state without your friend, you sound like you would be better off financially and weatherwise. You are facing a tough decision and I feel for you. Self medicating is something I know a lot about but when a decision is that important, I try to face it without a hangover, although that's not always easy. Hang in there while you decide what's best for you.