Ooops I did it again.

[paraniod]

I can't remember how bad I was. I have visions of people I know looking at me and smiling politely but giving me a wide berth. Emotions got the best of me and the funny thing is I knew I was fragile before I even went out. I knew it would not be a good idea to drink. A friends mother passed away last week ,another friend said something that I was hurt by and then my husband didn't even notice that I had changed my hair and had new clothes on to go out. The party was downtown and we were celebrating the life of a friend that was a wonderful person. Finally that hammer hit, I was crying for what in memory seems like hours. I was trying to hide from people so they would not see me, I told a couple of people things that I would not say in a sober state. To me it seems like I was carrying on for hours. I finally decided to check in with a few that were there. In all actuallity it was not that big of a deal, I cried for a bout 5 min. The problem is I don't remember much. Now I don't know the difference between reality and paranoia. I will have to see these people tomorrow. I am embarrassed that I allowed myself to get so loaded. Why do I do this? I know better. On the other hand why would I possibly think that anyone would be sitting and worrying about what I did when there is sooo much more going on in our lives. I think I am narcistic. Is this part of the disease?

[BecomingMeAtLast]

Ooops I did it again.

It is part of the disease. I was getting panic attacks at one point, it was awful. You know better, that's good. Maybe you got all of this out of you this time. Start fresh tomorrow, take care of yourself today. You had a bad day and messed up. Don't beat yourself up over it, it'll do no good. Learn from this, tell yourself "no more" and start fresh. You can do it.

I've done the exact same thing. Gone out when I was in a weak state and lost it. It passes. I promise it will pass.

Take care,
Be

[paraniod]

Ooops I did it again.

Thanks for the reply. I guess I should know that it is part of the disease, I just needed some reassurance. Thank you.

[Accountable for Me]

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You will be OK. At least it wasn't as bad as you thought. Man, I hate that, myself! The paranoia, worry, embarrassment and the anxiety.

Take care of yourself, OK? Today is a new day. You will feel better in a few days.

[Angelcakes]

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one2many;572821 wrote: It is pretty crap when we wake up and say " oh No!"... I think we have all had those moments, you are not alone.

But onwards and upwards now...that was yesterday.....today is a brand new day.

Check out the toolbox thread, lots of good info in there for staying sober......we are here for you..ok?

Oney is right - we've all done it.
Today is a new day....

[cymru]

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In my case many many times. The paranoia is a huge part of a comedown from a binge and blackout for me. 90% of the time it is worse for the user than the onlooker.

[paraniod]

Ooops I did it again.

Thanks everyone. I guess I will know tomorrow after the memorial if I pissed anyone off or made too big of an ass out of myself. I don't know how not to get into that situation again without leaving my husband. I had told him a month ago I would not go to the bar with him anymore but under the circumstances I went.

[last call]

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Been there done that! Like everyone else has said--today's a brand new day, yesterday is gone. Just pick yourself up and brush yourself off and continue on being AF. Welcome and the best of luck to you.

[changemylife]

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going through it right now from being on vacation last weekend. just don't remember everything. We must move on!

[jinja]

Ooops I did it again.

Yep - I become a total emotional junkie when drinking. Either happy, happy, happy or grieving about every little thing in my past. And then feeling sheepish the next day and emotionally raw again. Aaah, ain't it grand! lol.

New day, fresh start.

Take care
xxx