Just because I had to . . .

[polaryzed]

I was just reading a few threads and began to respond to one of them and then I thought, I should post this REALITY CHECK just because I had to in order to keep it real in my mind.

As you know I am trying to mod, and doing pretty good at it since Jan. 28 2009. I have not purchased liquor or beer nor have I drank it since that date.

However, I have been tossing around the idea that since we are having company from out west this weekend perhaps I should buy some vodka, rum and beer. But then in the back of my mind I think if I buy the stuff I will I start drinking it again after they leave, and if so where will that take me.

Then I reflect on the fact that since finding MWO and the inspiring ppl. here, I HAVE COME TO REALIZE JUST HOW MUCH I WAS DRINKING, and the fact that I would drink at the slightest negative incident. I have come to the rational that perhaps I would be shooting myself in the foot but . . .

I guess what I am trying to do is get some moral support to CONVINCE myself NOT to buy IT because I really DO NOT want to go backward.

[mooderator]

Just because I had to . . .

Hi

How does the old proverb go? If in doubt, dont!

You are clearly having quite an internal debate with yourself there. I wonder if in a way by you are giving alcohol too much airtime in your mind. You have done so amazingly well so far. If you think there is any chance to buy alcohol could mean you doing something outside of your comfort zone, then it might be better not to buy it. Or just buy enough to last the period your people are with you an no more. Or even pour away what's left?

Whatever you do, stay strong. Stick to YOUR guns. Dont the let the company of others lead to something thats not right for you.

Good luck whatever you decide to do.

Regards, Moo

[tlrgs]

Just because I had to . . .

I guess what I am trying to do is get some moral support to CONVINCE myself NOT to buy IT because I really DO NOT want to go backward.


GO WITH YOUR GUT INSTINK... YOU JUST GIVE YOURSELF THE ANSWER

[lilmea]

Just because I had to . . .

I guess what I am trying to do is get some moral support to CONVINCE myself NOT to buy IT because I really DO NOT want to go backward

.

Hello Polar,

You came in to MWO just a short time after I did. I am going AF but I support anyone in whatever their goals are. But sinse you want support in not bringing AL in your house, here goes. The fact that you are questioning your motives should tell you a lot. If you should decide to Mod your drinking then I think it should be on your own time scheduale. Not as an excuse because you are having company.

As I said, we are very close on our AF date so I understand the "mind talk" going on right now. What I try to do is seperate myself from what's going on. Trying to decide if it's really what I want to do or if it's just another excuse.

Good luck to you in what every you decide.

[hippie37]

Just because I had to . . .

Hi Polar.

I'm not sure quite how to respond, to be perfectly honest, without somehow being brutally honest with my own opinion concerning modding. As you might or might not know polar I am a binge drinker and an addict so I have no conception of what moderation is. I am to believe though that being able to moderate ones drink is something one does not have to think about in the first place. If you were to say have 2 glasses of wine a night, say one maybe at dinner and another an hour later while watching a movie/reading a book then go to bed later with the cork back in the bottle; then get up the next day and not even have thoughts about drinking....That's what I would call moderating in it's simplistic basic form. I kind of get the impression that you are frightened to drink in the first place because it will lead you back full circle to it being a problem again. If that's how you may be thinking then it would seem clear to me that you will not be able to moderate your drinking at all. JUST MY OPINION by the way. Might I ask (seen as it's been over a month that you've been sober) why you haven't tried modding sooner?.

I'm certainly not trying to get into the whole debate issue over modding/abstinence here I just think reading your post sounds like it is going to be a difficult choice for you in making your mind up. If so I would just put any thoughts of drink out my mind and continue to remain abstinent with a clear conscience instead or worrying all the time about trying to mod in the future.

Love and Happiness
Hippie
xx

[greeneyes]

Just because I had to . . .

I had quit for a couple weeks and went on a planned weeks vacation with a GF with the intention to go back to AF upon return. I modded very well as we were together the whole time. Didn't even think about sneaking. Got back, proud of how well I did and then shortly afterwards realized that there was this big bullet hole in my foot. *Shrug* That's just my experience. And it took over a year for that hole to fill in.

[peacenik]

Just because I had to . . .

you don't sound like you need any convincing sweetheart!

how about you tell the company if they want to drink it would be easier on you if they did it if you go out to eat, or somewhere other than your house?

you know what you need to do

[keeta]

Just because I had to . . .

polar...you have 48 days AF right now?
You are questioning if you should buy alcohol, and more than likely drink said alcohol.

I think your heart, gut, and common sense are trying to tell you what is best..."for right now".
Not necessarily in the future.
If you are this concerned, and you were a dear friend asking my advice. I would whole heartedly, and lovingly tell you to not only not drink, but NOT to buy the booze, so as to encourage those visiting to drink, and open up the can of worms so to speak.

Don't think of this particular get-together in terms of how every party, or get together will be handled. Just this one.

I don't know you well enough to be quite as cut and dry in my advice. So what I will say, is follow your heart and gut instinct. It seems to be giving you a good indication as to what the answer to your own question is. :l:h:l

[polaryzed]

Just because I had to . . .

Much appreciated

Your comments are very much appreciated, THANK YOU!

Yep, I did have the correct answer in my subconscious. I don't really know why I had to ask. Seems like a rather stupid question now, especially considering the whole point of MWO.

So alas, I did not buy the stuff . . . I think it was temptation but it's gone THANK GOD!

So thanx again :l

[rubywillow]

Just because I had to . . .

GREAT, P. Been there, done that, regretted it for months. Truly it's easier to explain NOT drinking than to remember what you did when you were!! (And make the apologies!!!)