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[BecomingMeAtLast]

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Thanks. I thought I was strong but I got drunk last night. My f**** sister emails, all she says is "Did he attempt or just talk?" I swear I hate her right now. I really do.

YAH, he talked about that therapy. I'm going to print your post and give it to him when he's ready. If he's ready. I don't know. Everything overwhelms him. We went outside yesterday and he seemed to like that. I forgot to take the cords out of the slippers I brought him and had to do it there. I felt so stupid. I should have remembered that.

AArrgghh, it's his eyes. The look in his eyes. My heart is broken.

Thanks. I think I need to call that counselor to see if she can see me today. I need help. This is too much. I'm always the strong one. I just want to cry. I should delete this. No, I can't hold it in, that's what he said he was doing.

I'm going to call my husband to see if he can come home. Thanks. Evie, I'm so sorry for your brother.

[startingover]

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:l:l:l Be, thinking of you hun...I cannot imagine how you must be feeling now, but I am sending love and strength

[Guest]

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Becoming, I hope your husband was able to get home and help you.....

My sister has twice unsuccessfully tried to end her life and at the time I felt if she was so terribly despondant it may have been the best thing for her. Now a few years later with the correct meds (which was not easy to formulate) she is well and happy and doing good things in the world for other people.

It is so very confusing and we sometimes are so helpless.
:heart::heart::heart::heart::heart::heart:
My best thoughts and hopes are with you

[BecomingMeAtLast]

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I'm sorry I've been away. Thank you so much for the PMs. My brother tried suicide again. I called his landlord and got in to find him in bed surrounded by mess and pills. He's back in the hospital and I'm taking care of him. He wanted to get out and I convinced him he's not ready. He's trying ECT and it seems to be helping.

My mother won't visit. My brothers and sister don't come in contact with him. I'm so sad and alone and scared. I can't even put it in words.

I'm writing this here for anyone who's thinking of suicide. Please don't. There's help out there and it's so damn hard on the people who love you.

I miss you guys. It's such a dark time now and the sun is out and I have a wake to go to, my neighbor. Oh yeah, found her, too, and cleaned up that mess. She was 77 and it was her time it's just one more thing, you know?

The therapist I went to helped a little but I need a new one. Right now I'm just trying to keep up with bills and my kids. God I love them so much.

I can't wait for the bright side to come back. I know it will. It always does. I bought a beautiful new plant yesterday.

Anyway, I love you guys.
Be

[beautifulred]

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Hang in there B.......things have GOT to get better for you. I will say a prayer for you and your brother.

[rubywillow]

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B, this too shall pass, it's the pain of waiting to see how is passes that tears at our hearts. I've lost loved ones to suicide, and I look back to see what I could have done. You ARE doing what should be done - loving him, being there, and even tho it's taking such a toll on you, you can have no regrets. We all must find our way, and I am praying for you that your little brother recognizes your strength and love and sees that he CAN survive too. He must have some of your strength, right? You and little bubba will be in my thoughts and prayers until I hear from you again, and I pray it will be a better day for you both.
Rubes

[Evie.Lou]

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Be, Please just know that I am here and that I care. You will get thru this and we are here to help you every step of the way.

[Popeye]

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You're doing all you can in unimaginable circumstances. Prayers for you and yours.

[Cinders]

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be,

sending prayers for you and your brother.

hugs, too.

love,
cindi

[last call]

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Be sounds like you have alot on your shoulders. My prayers are with you.

[polaryzed]

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Praying for your family Best.

Hi BecomingMeAtLast - Hoping your brother is feeling better soon.,

I am praying with all of my heart for you BecomingM., your brother and your family.

I've been there on the other side of your pain. It is so very emotional but you are correct 'Things Will Get Better'. Please know that you are doing everything you can do.

And know that your brother really does see you . . . He sees You are There for Him and He Loves You for Your Strength. Though you may feel your strength is running out . . . It's Not . . . You are a Tower of Strength for your brother - In our darkest hours is when we see the light.

And Our Prayers are with You, Your Brother and Your Family.

God Bless . . . :l

[Cloven]

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Perhaps what your brother needs most from you will be to see both your strength and your compassion, in your eyes. To feel himself found within your gaze. Others will need words to reach and help him; you can offer him the sight and touch of what he is made of: a self-respecting, loving human being created from the very same earthly elements.

[Angelcakes]

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Dear Be, you are a strong woman and you're doing a great job under the mosts difficult circumstances.
xo

[BecomingMeAtLast]

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Zenstyle;592810 wrote: Oh Be.... I'm sorry hon. You've got so much on your plate and it's ugly stuff to be dealing with too. I wish there was something I could do to help. It's a real shame the rest of the family won't see him. Will they even discuss things with you, I mean can you lean on them or are you totally on your own with it?

Keep your chin up, it too shall pass although it probably doesn't feel like it at the moment. :l :l :l Zenny

Thanks Zeneroni. No, they won't even discuss things. I think they just think "cheer up, what's wrong with you?" you know, kind of like telling an alcoholic to have just two drinks or an anorexic to start eating.

[BecomingMeAtLast]

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Thanks so much for all the posts. I feel so much better and I'm ready to tackle tomorrow with strength, no matter what!!!

Love,
Be