Announcement

**Quiescent** · August 5, 2006, 12:17 PM

and I was doing so great....

Lisa Congratulations on your six weeks of ABS and continued moderation!

Don't be too hard on yourself......tomorrow is another day:l

I am interested to know if you are taking suppliments and the topimax?

RYL

**nomorewine** · August 5, 2006, 12:31 PM

and I was doing so great....

Welcome Back

Lisa -

Congrats on 6 weeks - That is awesome.

I understand your feelings (I'm sure most everyone here does!) I had an extended period of abs and was ultimately going for moderation. I went way overboard when I did, and had strayed from this board and the CDs and everything that was "working."

The important thing is that you have come back! :w You know what has worked in the past and you know you can do this.

I wish I knew why we do what we do. But I don't. All I know is for me, I know I have to keep coming back here even when I feel like I have this demon licked. Because I don't! I need the strength of the people here.

So today is a new day and try to forgive yourself (always hard for me), be gentle with yourself (always hard for me) and start again (always hard for me.) (I think I am my own worst enemy!!)

Hang in there, feel better and welcome back!:h :h

**cjback** · August 5, 2006, 12:40 PM

and I was doing so great....

Hey Lisa, the fact that it upset you is a good sign!!! So what, you let it go for a day, we're human!! We all learn from mistakes, otherwise without them we'd be more messed up!!! my slip ups are what have helped me to "curb" my drinking, I thank God for them! Just remember what you don't want, you're doing fantastic, today is a new day!!! hugs, cj

**Saint Jude** · August 5, 2006, 01:15 PM

and I was doing so great....

Hey Cj, welcome back! And congrats on 6 weeks! Thats great, ... I think listening to the hypno CD helps. (I like the short version part 2), Good suggestions on it! Hang in there.:l , Judie

**deanie** · August 5, 2006, 01:27 PM

and I was doing so great....

I was doing so great

Hi Lisa,

I don't know what was in the air last night, but I was much too lax with myself too. I had an extremely stressful day at work. I am tapering off my Zoloft and was feeling crappy. The Zoloft tapering is another story. I came home, didn't crave wine, wasn't even planning to have any. Had a lovey dinner with my husband. I drank ice tea. Then around 8pm, a glass of wine sounded good. I have been doing mods, day 30 today. I have only had wine a handful of days. AF during the week. Occasionally, Friday night with dinner. Saturday with dinner. Two glasses usually. Three once. So last night, I was feeling irratable, headachy, not good from the Zoloft taper. Week two of the taper and yesterday was the worst day. Good news, I am feeling much better today. Thankfully. I drank the first glass and decidied to have a second. I actually measure out five ounces to be sure it is a true amount. No more of filling the glass to the top and calling it a glass of wine. At a restaurant, a glass of wine is five ounces. After the second, I felt much better, the irratability and anxiousness were gone. I decided a third would be great. Another five ounces measured out. Did I stop there? No. I thought another would be even better. Stupid me. This morning, I have realized, that I need to be even more diligent. I got careless and drank more than I intended. Three is my limit. Period. That is normal. I am not beating myself up too much. It was a good lesson to learn. I rationalized it last night as trying to feel better from getting off of Zoloft. Funny how I played games with myself. I am glad I realized it. Thank you Lisa for posting this morning. It helped me to get refocued and get real with myself. I know for sure I need you guys. This site is and will continue to be a lifesaver. Thanks for letting me get this out!

Peace,

Deanie

**Newyear** · August 5, 2006, 03:59 PM

and I was doing so great....

Hello-
Thanks for the encouraging words. I think I was just surprised.
I don't really understand what made me want to do that. It wasn't even much fun.

I do remember thinking yesterday 'is waking up sober really all that wonderful?'
Well, I guess I found the answer to that one - again. Yes, it is that wonderful.
I'm feeling better than I was this morning - had some time to think.

RYL- I'm not taking anything. I didn't think I would need to. I got so much inspiration here and had so much resolve and determination I figured that would be enough. I'm starting abs again today - I may need to rethink not taking anything. Can I ask what you are doing?

Lisa

**Newyear** · August 5, 2006, 04:05 PM

and I was doing so great....

Deanie-

Thanks for writing. Your experience sounds very similar/familiar.
I guess like you said, you really do need to be vigilant and aware all the time -like your - 'three is the limit' and stick to that. It's so easy to have a reason to keep going.

I just allowed myself to have as much as I wanted last night. Felt like going off a diet and then eating an entire cheesecake.

Good luck - sounds like you are doing pretty well!

**deanie** · August 5, 2006, 05:03 PM

and I was doing so great....

And I was doing so great

Hi Lisa,

Great analogy...going off your diet and eating the entire cheesecake. That is exactly how it was. But, I know what happens when I "blow" my diet. It is h%^$# trying to get back on track. I think I'll just stay the course and moderate apppropriately and spare myself the screw up and remorse the next morning. Sounds like a plan!

Peace,

Deanie

**mountainmama** · August 6, 2006, 12:34 PM

and I was doing so great....

Hi Lisa,
I'm in the same shoes you were this morning. I went to an 11am wedding yesterday, thinking, there is no way I will have a drink at the reception. I've been doing so good with my sups, and managing to keep it under control. Oh, no, was I wrong. It's like people just don't understand why I don't have a beer in my hand when thats how they are used to seeing me. So, eventually someone brought me a beer. Hadn't even eaten anything, and gosh, I just gave in and drank it. Then, I was going to leave, and ended up with another. Then it was time for the toast, so what the heck, I had some champaign, and then another. Scarey drive home, but made it safe. Walk in to see hubby was on a roll at home while working on house projects, and he hands me another. I kept at it the entire day/evening, and thought I was having a great time. Its when I get that warm, happy feeling that I'm a gonner. Can't stop. Need to make a point to not get to that one drink, the one that makes me ignore what the real me wants to do.

So, I know how ya feel, and I hope that I can make a change. This site has become a little addicting for me, and that is a good thing. Its good to have people to share these experiences with, and to learn from them.

Thanks,
Mtnmama

**Newyear** · August 6, 2006, 07:23 PM

and I was doing so great....

Hey Mtnmama and Deanie and everyone-

I think you are right, this site is addictive.
I've been trying to convince myselfall day today that it would be ok for me to have a drink tonight.
I came home and read your posts instead and now I'm having a glass of milk.
I'm going to go to bed early and get up and work out in the morning before work. No hangover for me tomorrow. Part of my problem is that I have 5 beers, 4 unopened bottles of wine and 2 opened half bottles of wine sitting in my kitchen..... not that I've counted

None for me tonight though.

But, I could relate very well to your wedding experience. So easy to start when it seems
it is expected that you will have a drink. Easier to go along with it.
The problem seems to come when everyone else stops and eats some cake and goes home and we are trying to figure out how to keep drinking. (that's my mo anyway)
I have to keep it in my head at all times that I will be happy in the morning and it is worth not having anything. Today is now day two. I had a headache all day yesterday and had no energy at all.
Today was better....tomorrow will be even better.
I love this site. It's nice to be able to be honest and not worry about how bad anything 'sounds'
thanks
Lisa

**Quiescent** · August 7, 2006, 08:59 AM

and I was doing so great....

lisa3102 wrote: Hello-
Thanks for the encouraging words. I think I was just surprised.
I don't really understand what made me want to do that. It wasn't even much fun.

I do remember thinking yesterday 'is waking up sober really all that wonderful?'
Well, I guess I found the answer to that one - again. Yes, it is that wonderful.
I'm feeling better than I was this morning - had some time to think.

RYL- I'm not taking anything. I didn't think I would need to. I got so much inspiration here and had so much resolve and determination I figured that would be enough. I'm starting abs again today - I may need to rethink not taking anything. Can I ask what you are doing?

Lisa

Hi Lisa,

I hope you had a nice weekend!

I'm sorry it took so long for me to answer your question. My kids are always wanting to be on the computer so I have to fit my visits here between them. I'm also visiting here in secret....I'm just not ready to have my husband know. I really don't need one more thing to feel secretive about so as soon as I am fully on my program I will let him in on it all.

Starting August 21st (first full day of school for my kindergartener) I will begin my full program I might start baclofen,( my alternative to topimax. You can find out more from the research page) supps, and zone diet before that but it is really hard to fit in exercise routinely while the kids are out of school and I am working several nights a week.

I am excited to start, I'm waiting on the baclofen to arrive. My drinking to date is entirely OUT OF CONTROL, the worst it has ever been. In my heart I am ready.......I would like to moderate but I will just have to see if that is something I can be capeable of.

Thanks,
RYL

**Newyear** · August 7, 2006, 05:47 PM

and I was doing so great....

Hi RYL-

no problem!
I understand about not saying anything about this - I haven't told anyone. But I live alone so it is much easier. I have told one friend that I was cutting down - or not drinking tonight etc. but that's it.
I want to start back exercising but I can't seem to get my energy up. I think I need to do some reading and figure out what if anything I should try taking.
I have used this site for support and have learned a lot but for some reason I didn't think I needed anything more that that. I guess It's hard for me to accept that I do. I think eventhough I've been coming here and I've talked about having an issue with drinking...down deep I didn't entirely believe it.
Still hard to be honest with myself I guess.
Anyway...sorry to go on a bit. I'm going to do some reading though like I said and go from there. Will you let me know how the baclofen works for you?
Thanks -
Lisa

**Bambino** · August 7, 2006, 05:58 PM

and I was doing so great....

RYL and Lisa,

I abstained for just over 2 weeks ( although I didn't really ) twice went into the pit ) just told my self I had.. BUT the issue is, that it's NOT YOU. It's IT.. End of story. Longest before was 4 months
What you need to think of, is that you have had the gumption to post a message here, therefore YOU are STRONGER than IT. FULL BLOODY STOP.
So girls, keep on, there is so much wisdom here, psychologically, medically, and through your chosen faith.

I am only a baby stepper, but I know that throughout turmoil, these wonderful people have pulled me through it - Now I'm thinking MAD, because I probably will never ever see my saviours. But - hey - Hold your nose and... Dive in XXXX

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