I really don?t feel comfortable blowing my own trumpet but today is 365 days since my last cigarette and in the last 365 days I have had only one drinking binge episode. So today is my one year MWO anniversary. This time last year I was a total mess and I was rapidly destroying my life with binge drinking/smoking. I hated myself. I couldn?t look at myself in the mirror as I was disgusted with what looked back at me. I couldn?t tell you how many times during the two or three years prior to that I cried my eyes out and begged God (any God) to release me from the hell. But no matter how many times I said never ever again it always happened again and again. I just didn?t have the understanding or the tools to enable me to get a handle on it. Then I found MWO and I started reading and reading and with that came understanding and the tools. I remember in the beginning reading other people?s posts about their success and I never imagined I would even make it to 30 days never mind make it to a year. In the early days I just kept repeating to myself in my head ?this is not happening to me ever again? like a mantra. I put little rules in place. I got the supplements and took them religiously. I never bought any alcohol no matter what and I never had any in the house. I initially hibernated from friends and I ate a truck load of cake and got fat but I didn?t care. And little by little one day at a time I got there and somehow by some sheer miracle here I am - a whole year later. It certainly has been a year of challenges and some tough moments but nothing compared with what I would have suffered if I had continued on the way I was.
Now for the thank yous. First a big thank you to me myself and I for just fucking doing it ? there is no other way ? just do it already!. Then a huge massive thank you to every single person who has ever posted on MWO as every one of you have inspired me. Peoples struggles have inspired me to keep going - peoples successes have inspired me to keep going and other people?s research has given me the tools to manage my own individual drink problem. So thank you to RJ for doing exactly that and sharing that with me and thanks also to everyone else. It is truly a miracle and I thank my lucky stars every day ? I have got the gift of my life back. And believe me if I can do it anyone can. The tools are here and the support is here.
BH
Now for the thank yous. First a big thank you to me myself and I for just fucking doing it ? there is no other way ? just do it already!. Then a huge massive thank you to every single person who has ever posted on MWO as every one of you have inspired me. Peoples struggles have inspired me to keep going - peoples successes have inspired me to keep going and other people?s research has given me the tools to manage my own individual drink problem. So thank you to RJ for doing exactly that and sharing that with me and thanks also to everyone else. It is truly a miracle and I thank my lucky stars every day ? I have got the gift of my life back. And believe me if I can do it anyone can. The tools are here and the support is here.
BH
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