Army Thread 3 april09

[cymru]

Morning all.
Feels very fresh this morning. The birds are singing and it promises to be a lovely day in Cymru. Erin maybe having a sleepover with her friend tnt, so I'm going to have a busy evening. Must think of some fun things to do!
Glad you enjoyed spongebob kap. It did tickle me when I saw it.
Right, I must finish my book! Wishy commented last night that she is a Stephen king widow!
Have a great day everyone.

[startingover]

Army Thread 3 april09

Hi Cy!
its all foggy here but I am hoping we get some sunshine later...
I am glad Erin is spending so much time with you, must be a great feeling?

I had a really good time last night. Met up with colleagues for leaving do and belated Xmas lunch.
I never once missed drinking and as I watched people devour bottle after bottle of wine, I just felt an enormous sense of gratitude that I was no longer doing that..
I had to endure a couple of people's shock that I wasnt drinking....a couple of wise cracks about the fact that I was no longer working there so my need to drink was extinguished seemed to curb to the questions (said tongue in cheek of course)
Anyway, was a good night, I came in late so I must have enjoyed it :-)

[cymru]

Army Thread 3 april09

That's great to hear starts. A big step for you, no? To go out, enjoy the evening and not be thinking about coming home every 15 mins is great. Maybe last weekends feelings were for a reason. You had some internal questions and answered them. You'll be turning into a alc, drug and nic free party animal before you know it!
I'm happy your happy. X

[startingover]

Army Thread 3 april09

Thank you Cy! It IS a huge step for me. Not trying to find excuses to leave, actually having a really good laugh, relaxed in the knowledge that if I wanted to, I was free to come and go as I chose. Getting myself there, not relying on lifts, having my car nearby all helped to give me a wonderful sense of security and freedom..
Yes, those feelings last weekend were AWFUL, but they reinforced the fact that feelings are transient, as long as we ultimately believe what we are doing is right, the negatives will be replaced by even stronger positve emotions.
Cy, its GREAT, I NEVER thought I could enjoy a party atmosphere with NO crutches at all....I am so happy about it....

[jinja]

Army Thread 3 april09

Morning everyone. Glad it went well last night Starts! I've got a business dinner next week and am dreading it.... so bad in those situations. Cym - the last Steven King book I read was Insomnia.....and you guessed it.... couldn't sleep for ages!! Seriously messed up my head. Ha

We took the girls camping at the weekend - gorgeous! Then got back & internet was down...aargh! Anyway, survived the wobble at the end of last week and still going strong- that's the main thing!

Take care
xxx

[startingover]

Army Thread 3 april09

Hey Jinja, well done for keeping strong..
I was always useless at socialising, always got horrendously drunk because I was so anxious all the time...but now after a good deal of time sober, it really seems to be getting easier...hang in there...

[cymru]

Army Thread 3 april09

Morning Jinj. Havent read Insomnia, but will put it on my list of books to read! Keep fighting the fight!
There was a couple of lines in the reading that really stuck with me last night.
''The fact is that most alcoholics, for reasons yet obscure, have lost the power of choice in drink. Our so called will power becomes practically nonexsistent. We are unable, at certain times, to bring into our consciouness with sufficient force the memory of the suffering and humiliation of even a week or a month ago.
We are without defense against the first drink.''
I could relate to that alot. Even after making an utter tit of myself, and feeling utter remorse and hatred of myself, there I was a couple of weeks later, doing the same thing. Today, I do not have to fight this disease. I work this simple programme, have realised that I could not do this on my own, and gave myself and my disease to the help of a higher power as I understand it. Its quite an amazing feeling, it really is.

[startingover]

Army Thread 3 april09

Cy, even though I am not following AA (I want to learn more though) I totally get that amazing feeling from being free from that battle..yes I know I had one last weekend, but 3 days out of a lifetime is nothing is it?
With the making a fool of myself too, I did it time and time again.....I NEVER want to go there again...

[cymru]

Army Thread 3 april09

Rock on starts! For me, not being a 'dry drunk' is huge. Before, when I wasnt drinking, boy, did people know I wasnt! It was o.k for a few days or even weeks sometimes, but then this battle would start in my head, and I would be fighting the mental obession of drinking every day. I was restless, irritable and discontent, and I was sure I let everyone know that. Looking for that excuse to drink.
Like you starts, NEVER again!

[startingover]

Army Thread 3 april09

Rich said he felt so much more comfortable with me going out and not drinking...poor bloke, I must have put him through hell...

[startingover]

Army Thread 3 april09

I had never got that concept of "dry drunk" before...now I do...I too used to think about drink from the moment I got up to the moment I fell asleep, I was never really happy sober...and never really happy drunk either...what a mess....

[startingover]

Army Thread 3 april09

Morning Oney! Yep, it sure feels good...

[mario]

Army Thread 3 april09

morning cymru,starts,& everybody all good here,having big problems with my pc,it works,it don't work,reminds me of my past:Of to swimming now,i am doing 30 x 25 mt lengths,hope to get it up to 40,which is a km,just another little goal.anyway hope to catch u later.

[startingover]

Army Thread 3 april09

Hey Mario! PC probs are the worst, I hope you sort them...Great going on the swimming, yes we all need those goals to keep us motivated.

[jinja]

Army Thread 3 april09

Hey O2M & Mario

I have to admit I'm still there sometimes...persuading myself that I'deserve' a drink. I remember saying I had an allergy....when asked what happened when I drank the answer was 'I fall over alot and make an arse of myself!' Still true!