back again

[twinsmommy]

Well here I am back Again. I took Topa for a while again but did not go high in the dose b/c it lowers my blood pressure so much. And I drank a lot on it anyway so I stopped. I am in the middle of a divorce and my husband said he would not fight me for the kids but then I got a DWI and he has changed his mind ( the car was parked I passed out was not driving not that it matters) So essentially I am trapped here b/c I won't go without my kids. He says I have to stop drinking and he had 26 beers over the weekend. Hard to stop when someone is drinking in your face like that. Got really drunk last night and he knew. Just feeling hopeless.:upset:

[hart]

back again

((((Twinsmother))))

Hon I'm sorry you are going thru this. If Topa doesn't work due to your blood pressure issues, check out other meds. I'm on Campral and I don't know if those same issues exist. There is also Antabuse wherein you can't drink. You may just need to detox in a facility. If you feel "stuck" I predict this will feed into your feelings of "you might as well drink" then you may lose custody. At the very least, go see a counselor, whatever underlying issues are causing you to drink until you pass out can be at least identified.:l

[twinsmommy]

back again

Hi hart thanks. I am going to counseling but that part has not really been addressed. She has only said that I am depressed and self medicating. DUH right? A facility is not an option and I had Campral a long time ago but I drank anyway. But then again I was working in a bar. I am afraid of Antibuse.

[Boss.man]

back again

Alcohol feeds the depression, particularly when the buzz wears off. IMO you need to read a lot here on the forum, and get the strength to stop the cycle of drinking/anxiety/depression. It takes 2-3 weeks to start, so don't look for instant results. My experience is that once you get on the brighter side of things, big problems become more solvable, and little problems are easier to ignore. That's my opinion.

[Evie.Lou]

back again

Sorry that you are going thru this. Divorce is always so difficult and with kids it is even harder. I remember the hopeless feeling and I needed meds to help me GET AND STAY SOBER. There is alot of good info on the different choices of meds, here on the MED THREAD. I also found the You Tube about Sinclair method to be very encouraging when I was at a very LOW point. Welcome back. You can get sober...if a hard headed Swede like me can do it, I know you can !!!

[bestlifeldms]

back again

Twinsmommy, Welcome back, hon! Remember me - I'm a twins mommy too... So sorry for the spot you are in, but wanted to hop on here and say "hang in there". Don't have the answers. So individual. Suggestion I have, regarding your potential custody situation is, make your focus, 100% about you and the kids. Give all your effort to being your best self. You deserve it, and your kids deserve it. Keep close notes on your days, your efforts toward controlling your consumption. Journal this. Also, note his consumption. Could come in very handy later. This isn't a "keep score" thing. It's about you getting better. It's about you creating the full and abundant life you deserve, and consequently improving the quality of your kids lives - married or not. Be kind and caring to yourself. You deserve a betterlife and so do your kids. :h

[twinsmommy]

back again

Hi best so glad to see you are still here and sober I take it! I do remember you and love hearing from you. Thanks for the advice.:l

[nancy]

back again

Hi Twinsmommy,

Another med you could try is naltrexone, a lot has been written about this in our medication threads. Check it out!

Maybe as bossman suggests you can get clear for 2-3 weeks and see how you feel. I know how depression can lead to drinking then drinking increases depression. It's horrible! But you can get out of that circle.

I also agree that focusing on your kids is wise. Does your husband drink and drive? Would your kids actually be safer with him until you get your alcohol problem sorted out? If you are passing out in your car he may have a point, though probably your license has been taken away? Have you considered rehab? Also, maybe your family could help, grandparents.

Nancy

[twinsmommy]

back again

I just made a doc appt hope he will give me Naltrexone. Also going on antidepressants. My husband and I still live in the same house so he can't take the kids. I think I would get worse w/out them. Rehab is not an option either I am going to give the Naltrexone a shot w the sinclair method. I am pretty sure the doc will give me an anti anxiety pill too until the antidepressants kick in so that should help.

[polaryzed]

back again

Meee tooooo Twins I mean . . .

Like what Best. and the others have said and I totally agree with Journalizing everything, it will be a real eye opener for you.

Good you are going to see the doctor.

You can do it, you really can!

:l Visit MWO alot, the Support and Inspiration is phenominal.

[bestlifeldms]

back again

Twinsmommy- Nancy's point about the cycle of depression - alcohol - self medication - worsening depression... Right before my alcohol free period began, a year ago, my doc had me try an anti depressant. I am sure they are effective in certain situations, but... wasn't the answer for me at the time. The answer for me was to discontinue self medicating, and when I did - I'm not depressed. As a matter of fact, I am joyous! I still have the same problems I had when I drank, but they appear more managable and things are in perspective. I did use Xanax, for the temporary anxiety during the initital AF period. But now, au natural... Just something to think about.

[twinsmommy]

back again

That is the way I would like to be. I agree that the depression will go when I am not drinking. I have been thinking about the andtidepressant thing. I may not fill the script. But at least it will get me into the doc.

[Seacailin]

back again

TM
I am glad that you are hanging in there. It is so hard not to escape in the bottle when life's major crises strike us. I picked up drinking after 10 years AF, partially due to divorce and Hell, how am I supposed to be single and socialize with men without a drink. That was the beginning of the end. Many doctors like to give us alkies antidepressants. They are good for the short term serotonin boost. Anti-anxiety meds also help tremendously with withdrawal for a very short term, as they are addictive. Prayers and Blessings to you.

[Beaches]

back again

Twins Mom,

I also am a mom of twins! I remember you from before as well. The anti anxiety pills work nicely (for a short period of time) when you are first going AF. Then you can slowly ween yourself off of them. Stay focused and do your very best to stay sober for your kids. It sounds like your husband is not able to care for them properly with the volumes of alcohol that he drinks. You can do this, for yourself and your kids.