Feeling anxious/edgy/irritable too

[Newyear]

Feeling anxious/edgy/irritable too

I worried about that too...what would I do at night if I didn't drink? I used to come home every night, change clothes, feed the cats, open a bottle of wine and start drinking. When I was still smoking I would stand at the sliding glass doors (to blow out the smoke) with a glass of wine in one hand and a cigarette in the other - all night....all night until I made my way upstairs to bed. I would sometimes talk on the phone or other times just watch tv while I drank and smoked.
I did this every night. I worried when I quit smoking too...what would I do at night?
I did look forward to coming home and drinking wine. I would be dead tired at work but by the time I got home and opened the wine ...well, I started feeling better. I enjoyed myself so much that I would stay up too late and then feel awful in the morning (well, the bottle of wine played a part in that too). Then I'd go to work and do everything all over again.
I think that there is a good point here and I do understand what you mean about that euphoria before drinking ....just looking forward to that medication can make you feel relief.
I was worried that when I quit smoking and drinking I'd realize that there wasn't much to my life outside of work. Well, maybe there isn't. But for now I guess I can deal with that because I'm really tired of dealing with the aftermath of drinking.
I thought that maybe if I quit drinking I would feel better and maybe I would have time and interest to do something interesting with my free time.
So far...just working on the drinking. I've been doing pretty well though - thanks to the support here and all of you.
whew...that felt good to write too
:thanks:
Lisa

[C]

Feeling anxious/edgy/irritable too

Dear Jen..think I'll weigh in..

Dear Jen,

Guess I'll weigh in with my experience for what it is worth. It is certainly not professional so take it with that in mind.

There is a well known phenomenon in addiction therapy/knowledge about the high or thrill of the score. The stress & adrenalin that goes before getting the drug. Again with this dis-ease, even with alcohol, I think that is probably physcial as well as emotional. Just something to keep in mind.

From personal experience, I think the drug topamax is very strong. Even tonight I took only 25 mg and was amazed at how simply relaxed it made me feel. And I loved the feeling & could "feel" how it could regualte a craving.

For me (again.... just for me) it is, however, a strong dark depressant at higher dosages. Perhaps this is because I have earlier history of taking pain killers for migraines & my nervous system remembers. Or maybe even because I took LSD 40 years ago. Who knows.

In general, I feel it functions as a nervous system depressant rather than stimulant or mood enhancer. I had insomnia on it at 75 mg & higher but I was still not stimulated or mood enhanced, much rather more depressed. Anyway, I am particularly sensitive to it, but in my opinion it predominately acts more like a realxer, depressor, downer...if you were to categorize...

Long way of saying .. I think it can contribute to at least a physical depression ...BUT ..I am certainly not sure.....

BECAUSE ...I also believe....we all need SPIRITUAL HEALING.....and PERHAPS THIS IS WHERE YOU ARE NOW....

A new time in your life to re-evaluate who you are in terms of your goals, values, aspirations, mission in life....time to set a new course perhaps...

I hope it is just that & this has been a good experience to help you on your way.....

C