Help! I don't have time to deal with this...

[hiddengoal]

It takes a lot of time to manage this alcohol business.....I mean, when I cut down or stop, I have to be online or, heaven forbid, at meetings, all the time.....I can't make changes if these are the requirements...I don't have time!

I have a job, kids, way too much paperwork, a falling apart house, a family that split apart, a husband who doesn't show how to care, a teenager, a college kid.....I am starting to scream - ITS ALL TOO MUCH - I CAN"T HANDLE IT ALL -WOULD SOMEONE PLEASE TAKE OVER?!

[beautifulred]

Help! I don't have time to deal with this...

You have answered your own question hidden.....you have kids, a job, A FALLING APART HOUSEHOLD, A FAMILY SPLIT... etc.....you need to make time.....you know that is the only answer to your problems! BR

[lushy]

Help! I don't have time to deal with this...

If you have time to drink, you have time to NOT drink. Easier said than done, I know, but it is a fact. Wishing you the best.

[CS04]

Help! I don't have time to deal with this...

(I just typed a reply and lost it! Aargh!)

I understand being overwhelmed -- I also have hubby, house, toddler, teenager, work, etc. Perhaps there is one thing you (and I as well) can focus on each day to bring a bit of peace, to then jump start the process. Can your husband be with the kids for an hour in the evening so you have some time to yourself? Maybe a bubble bath, or a jaunt to a coffee shop?

Let me know how you are doing. I think many of us moms want someone to just "take over" whether we have issues with drinking or not. It is very hard. But there are many moms on these forums, as well very supporting dads and, well, just great people. Stay in touch.

[Rags]

Help! I don't have time to deal with this...

Hi Hidden,
Re-read what Wally and Lushy just said.

[jinja]

Help! I don't have time to deal with this...

Lack of time is tough!!

I can't go to meeings cos of the babysitting thing. My babysitter at the weekends goes to nightschool during the week. To find someone that I trust enough is a long process!

So when the evening comes (my drinking time) ..... I've already planned what I'm going to do. Read like a demon is my usual thing - in absolute silence.........aaaah bliss! On really bad nights I'm on my PSP or the girls' Nintendo DS.........just have to do something other than watching TV, cos that would drive me to drink! It is a case of busy, busy, busy at the beginning - it gets easier!

Breaking habits is harder that making them in the first place.

Take care
xxx

[hiddengoal]

Help! I don't have time to deal with this...

Thanks from the Coal Miner's Daughter.....

Wow, thanks everyone...it helps to see actual replies to my moments when I reach out -really. About having time to drink, therefore time not to......I am not going off drinking somewhere when I could be doing other things...I am drinking and trying tp pay bills or make dinner, or clean up......or winter addiction of knitting the night away....I just do it all after 6 PM with a glass of wine nearby. I don't even feel the luxury of having a glass of wine and just sitting with it.

It's like a scene from 'Coal Miner's Daughter', where SIssy Spacek has her breakdowm on stage....."Doo tells me you gotts run your own life, girl, but my life's running me."

[Blue Sky]

Help! I don't have time to deal with this...

You will feel alot less frazzled if you stop drinking. Things are better and faster when you have a clear head and can concentrate. I've got twins and felt that there were never enough hours in the day. Without alcohol I'm feeling calmer, healthier, happier and other things are falling into place easier.

Give it a go!

[bestlifeldms]

Help! I don't have time to deal with this...

Hidden! My heart goes out to you... I've have felt that overwhelming feeling that I had more balls in the air than I could possibly keep up with and was doing nothing justice. I empathise as I raised 5 kids while running my own business -0h man, don't know how. Anyway, what I have found after I removed alcohol from my life, is that, first - I noticed and saw-factually, just where everything was. My marriage, my finances, my career, my kids, my household, etc. Whew, things had become a mess while I was escaping with alcohol. I only drank at home and only after work, but those non productive hours and all that procrastination was really obvious, when I stopped drinking. I have found that everything in my life, without exception, is better, without alcohol. Everything! I have put far less effort into being sober, than I ever put into drinking. It was more work to try to keep up the - Making sure I had alcohol, getting rid of the bottles, arguing with my husband about it, apologizing for having drank too much, trying to repair all my relationships because I was different when I drank (and not pleasant) That list goes on and on and on... The point is, it really doesn't take all that much time, to invest in an improvement in yourself, that will benefit every apsect of your life. Hugs, Best

[Accountable for Me]

Help! I don't have time to deal with this...

Everything seems 'overwhelming' no matter what when we stop drinking. We are already irritable and tired; the commitments of every day life can rustle our feathers, very easily.

When I first sobered up I found it almost impossible to get shit done. I was tired for weeks. Staying sober was time consuming; just as you said in your post. Your thoughts, the meetings, MWO.... all par for the course. It is a small price to pay to become happy and healthy.

You will find a new sense of balance after a while. It all takes time. Be kind to yourself in the interim.

[Pan]

Help! I don't have time to deal with this...

I realise what you are trying to say. You don't take the time to drink, you drink while you are doing what needs to be done and don't have the time to stop doing what needs to be done, to be online, go to meetings.

Hard, but if you are serious about stopping drinking you really do need to make the time somehow to concentrate on yourself. Get up half an hour earlier perhaps to at least do some online time for yourself.

[hiddengoal]

Help! I don't have time to deal with this...

So, what I hear several of you saying is that "Overwhelmed" just may be a consequence of having al in your life. I honestly have been 'overwhelmed' for years and suppose that is an issue of itself, even before 'everyday wine' got in the way of me. I don't know if I can attribute all of it to al or life choices, but yes, the wine-escape probably doesn't help.

I did not have one glass last night, and am thinking I might try another AF bit to see what changes. I did that about a year ago, for 45 days. I felt pretty good, but it was a very introspective and time consuming effort. I don't know if I would say the differences were an improvement or not - I was whoa, way too analytical about everything. I got obsessed with counting the days...just like weight loss & counting the 1/4 pounds........

So, does it sound like I just want 'easy'? I guess I am just not sure of what my goal is with this drinking issue - I wish it were more clear. Perhaps, its a clear as a bell that I am a person who just has to quit forever, but I don't see that yet. I suppose it's the ol' one day at a time and for now, I think I'll try going AF for a spell. Is this wishy washy? OR is this how we start changing?

Thanks for all the thought input......

[bestlifeldms]

Help! I don't have time to deal with this...

hidden, I think it is that you are starting to view things from a new and different perspective. Remember that alcohol abuse / alcoholism - is a progressive problem! Left unchecked it does gets worse. As the years go by, our bodies require more and more alcohol to attain the same level of buzz or escape. The higher the alcohol consumption levels become, the more negative side effects it has on us, physically, emotionally, financially, psychologically - in every way! Attaining an AF period allows us to - "see the real picture" if you will. We begin once again to "notice" the state of all the aspects of our lives. And in most cases, it's WOW! I didn't realize my closets were such a mess, my windows are so dirty, my refrigerator hasn't been cleaned in way too long... etc. My finances need attention, my relationships are suffering, I am capable of far greater quality of work as an AF individual, than when using AL on a regular basis - it is endless. AF we have an awareness that was clouded, when drinking. And, while we are overcome with a great feeling - of feeling better physically, it can be overwhelming when we "acknowledge" the state our affairs are in. We realize it is because we have neglected them or made them worse while drinking on a regular basis. When making a committment to an AF lifestyle is very self involved, initially. After a period, we are no longer high maintenance. It becomes - second nature. Without a thought. Plus - we process, fix, take care of, everything that we have found in our lives that need attention. Keeping up, is always easier than catching up. After catching up, all aspects of our lives are lived with an "ease" we could not have, while drinking.

[hiddengoal]

Help! I don't have time to deal with this...

Wow...reading this 5 years later...

bestlifeldms;589525 wrote: hidden, I think it is that you are starting to view things from a new and different perspective. Remember that alcohol abuse / alcoholism - is a progressive problem! Left unchecked it does gets worse. As the years go by, our bodies require more and more alcohol to attain the same level of buzz or escape. The higher the alcohol consumption levels become, the more negative side effects it has on us, physically, emotionally, financially, psychologically - in every way! Attaining an AF period allows us to - "see the real picture" if you will. We begin once again to "notice" the state of all the aspects of our lives. And in most cases, it's WOW! I didn't realize my closets were such a mess, my windows are so dirty, my refrigerator hasn't been cleaned in way too long... etc. My finances need attention, my relationships are suffering, I am capable of far greater quality of work as an AF individual, than when using AL on a regular basis - it is endless. AF we have an awareness that was clouded, when drinking. And, while we are overcome with a great feeling - of feeling better physically, it can be overwhelming when we "acknowledge" the state our affairs are in. We realize it is because we have neglected them or made them worse while drinking on a regular basis. When making a committment to an AF lifestyle is very self involved, initially. After a period, we are no longer high maintenance. It becomes - second nature. Without a thought. Plus - we process, fix, take care of, everything that we have found in our lives that need attention. Keeping up, is always easier than catching up. After catching up, all aspects of our lives are lived with an "ease" we could not have, while drinking.

Its 5 years down the line from when I started this thread. I was just beginning to look back then. I have had several AF 'stints' and yet here I return to consider this all again. BUT! this post by BestLife explains what happened to me today > Non-chalantly on a 4th AF day, I came home from work, really wanting 'the usual wine', but there was non, and I just did not want to 'succumb' - yet. So I sputtered around the kitchen and house and got mad at the piles, and old outdated, dirty light switches, the broken appliances, and knew again, that this is the stuff I get to ignore when I do my wine and other chores that allow wine. I ignore whats broken and needs fixing (including stubborn relationships) or I blame it on my husband, like its his job.

So, it was rereading -this- post that has me thinking I might linger here again. That it might do me some good to reflect and spit some stuff out.

Hidden