I'm @ my wits end...

[Saint Jude]

I'm @ my wits end...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B-_W18CWypE[/video]]YouTube - Lyle Lovett - If I Had a Boat


There were 4 Orcas swimming in the bay @ the mouth of the river tonight @ work!
Glad I wasn't out there in my kayak,... but pretty cool to see!

[cowgal]

I'm @ my wits end...

let her go

Jude, you have always been there for me, I hadn't had this happen to me ""YET", but I would have a difficult time letting her go, but I am sure that is the right thing to do, I agree w/ everyone here...................sorry Providence for what you had to deal w/ too............:l

Glad Scott is ok, sorry he was being a grouch......................glad you are ok, that is the main thing Judie! I dearly love you, wish I traveled like I used to, would love to see you again, still have memories of the leperchaun in Vegas w/ the Midori shot in my mouth!uch: YUCK! HA HA!!:H:H:H

lots of love,:h

MA

[Saint Jude]

I'm @ my wits end...

Since I've been b*tchin' about him,...

Still love the F^&&^$# out of him!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4o3m1FwhusY[/video]]YouTube - Lyle Lovett: She's No Lady

OK, well, reverse the lyrics accordingly...

[Saint Jude]

I'm @ my wits end...

Gyco,
"Saint Jude", is actually, the Saint of lost causes,...


Talk about "Mother's intuition!",...

How the H did she know? (Way back before I ever did?)

Go figure!

[greeneyes]

I'm @ my wits end...

I was dealing (not) with a legal issue once with excessive amounts of scotch in the evenings. Finally my GF said she was sorry for the situation but I was drinking too much over it and until I was past this I could no longer drink in her house. She loved me but would not participate in that part of it. That was ahem..... uh, sheepish look on greenie's face..... over 10 years ago. We are still best of friends and she loves the fact that I don't drink. Judie, you know you can't fix her. set your boundaries and don't let her hold your cell phone hostage.

[Determinator]

I'm @ my wits end...

yikes, sorry to hear that (on both your cases).

I get frustrated on the boards about just this kind of thing. there are people here that are literally killing themselves with AL and are still sitting on the fence trying to rationalize modding and coming up with excuses for why they just don't want to try various treatment options. it's enough to make me bonkers too and I'm trying not to let it make me callous and distant from this great place.

my only advice is we have to find that elusive balance between telling the truth and not frightening them away. easier said than done sometimes....but we can do it.

[lucky 2.0]

I'm @ my wits end...

I agree with the sending her back home to work out her issues. She can't hide @ your place and self destruct with the booze. And she is an adult. She can buy it if she wants to but asking you to bring it home is just too juvenile.

Regarding the cell phone, don't you use caller id to screen?

Love hearing the rafting stories with doggy and the otters. Hope you get to enjoy the river some today to gain new perspective on your friend crashing into your world.

Good luck!

[Evie.Lou]

I'm @ my wits end...

Dear Jude, Sounds like you are letting her abuse your friendship...Your a much better friend to her than she is to you !!! Don't let anyone take advantage of your good heartiness. It's not good for her....OR YOU !!! I call these kind of relationships "one way streets" and I try not to go there anymore. I am learning to respect myself more than.I have been guilty of doing this so many times in the past...
My words of Wisdom...Screw me once, shame on you. Screw me twice, shame on me. I hope you will not let her INTRUDE on your kindness ANYMORE !!!!!!!!

[sammys]

I'm @ my wits end...

Hi honey, this is a touchy one you want to help and stuff but hiding wine under her car is kind of highschool stuff. I guess you can tell her she is making you worry to much about her and its causing you to question whether or not you are really being helpful to her.

Saying no to friends is hard and it does test the friendship, you could loose her as a friend but then again she is not good for you and you must take care of you and your health mentally and physically.

Life isn't it grand sometimes,

Sammys

That fire department is enough stress in your life alone.

[gyco]

I'm @ my wits end...

yo jude just got back,id say lifes a b...h ? whatever,at least =for now were tring to figure it out,i beleive its called ? a comfort zone,and my dear = you have found yours,so your friend ? has to step up to the PLATE. and finds hers , GYCO. hmmmm ! have a wonderful easter weeknd

[Saint Jude]

I'm @ my wits end...

:thanks: Everybody for your responses.

Yes, Lucky I do have caller ID, in fact I have her specifically on silent...but it still beeps when she leaves a mssg (which is sometimes 3 or 4 times a night. (She's called me 17 times since yesterday!)

I have the door locked right now. I'm not gonna do this anymore.
Thinking of calling her to explain,... but it's so draining to even think of. Plus, I'm not sure if she's in a state of mind to "hear" me...

Better yet, I'm thinking just let things be... if I don't talk to her for a while, maybe she'll start thinking... She's obviously not ready to listen...

[Guest]

I'm @ my wits end...

or you could text her...she might be pissed about it for a while but her next thought will be 'whos next' and she will forget about you. Her priority is a dwelling place for her debourchery ....
Say a prayer for her and move on....

[nancy]

I'm @ my wits end...

Hi Jude

It sounds like there is not a lot you can do in this situation. You offered her the book and some advice and she isn't ready to take it. It's up to her to get to grips with it but you don't have to be a part of it. I suggest, don't judge her, treat her with compassion, but stay away from her while she is in an alcoholic state. You can tell her that you have been where she is and that you don't judge her, and there are ways to get out of it and you are happy to offer tips when she is ready, but that it's hard for you to see her when she is not sober and that you have your own issues to deal with.

[Saint Jude]

I'm @ my wits end...

Thanks Nancy,
I think that's very sound advise.
I have 17 mssgs on my cell from her since yesterday. I just don't feel like she's hearing me @ this point, so I'm not responding to her calls.
I'm thinking, if she doesn't want to hear me... maybe my silence will speak...

I don't like doing this, but I do have a lot of my own issues I'm dealing with right now.
Thank you everybody for all your support...:l

This is a hard one for me.

[nancy]

I'm @ my wits end...

I think when people are in that kind of a bad state, the best gift you can give as a friend is just to let them know you not judging them and that you still care for them and love them. It's not to be at their beck and call when they are out of their minds. Don't feel bad about ignoring the messages... If you see her you can explain you have a lot on your mind with your husband, pretty busy so you can't respond to every call. And I suppose you also might tell her it's not good for your sobriety to be picking up booze.