Autopilot

[Popeye]

I seem to remember a couple of posts recently about going to the shop for booze knowing that you didn't want to. This has happened to me regularly (though not recently). I'm wondering how many of us do this.
It only happened to me sober and after a dry period, when you would have thought that not wanting a drink would be a good enough reason not to get one.
I'd think about getting a bootle and decide against it. Then I'd go and get my money and start walking round to the shop, all the while wondering why I was doing it. I'd be standing in the queue telling myself not to be so stupid then my turn would come and the words would come out, I'd hand over the cash and the guy would give me the bag. On the way back, I'd be almost laughing at what a fool I was being. I'd go and get a glass, pour myself the biggest drink I could, whilst ridiculing myself and wondering what the hell I was doing. As I'm writing this it just occurred to me that once I've downed the first mouthful, there is this huge sense of relief. All this happens in a quite surreal and disturbing way. It's almost as if I'm not in control or hypnotised. The subconscious part of my mind completely overwhelms the conscious part, the part that regulates the day-to-day running of my life, and that I find a little scary.
Your thoughts....

[Evie.Lou]

Autopilot

It is for me tooo !!!!Scary, I mean.
While grocery shopping I will find myself standing in the booze isle looking at what is in my shopping cart and thinking "what wine goes with what food" ?????
Thank GOD I have come to my senses and walked anyway from that isle...but it was "automatic" so to speak. I wonder how long before things like that will stop happening ???

[cymru]

Autopilot

Hey Pops.
I have many time been walking to the shop, knowing that the reason I was going was to buy a bottle. On the outside, I was going to buy groceries, but deep down I knew I was going to come back with booze. I would just buy it, and like you pops, get home asap, so I could pour a big glass to down. That sense of relief that my mental obsession, the irritability had gone was imense. Like you, it was like I had no control once those feelings of restlessness, irritability and discontent kicked in. There power over me was huge. But of course, once that first had gone down, I was always craving more. Until I could crave no more by blacking out.
By stopping the mental obsession, I stop the urge to pick up the first glass, and therefore the craving for more.

[last10years]

Autopilot

I go on autopilot as well...my brain lets down all defences and I don't even know it's happening. It somehow is OK at the time??? I had this problem as I quite tobacco as well...I now keep a note with me, as silly as it sounds (at work, in evening, etc.) that just remdinds me to think these things through a few times, as autopilot is a very strong force.

[Cinders]

Autopilot

cymru;590658 wrote: Hey Pops.
I have many time been walking to the shop, knowing that the reason I was going was to buy a bottle. On the outside, I was going to buy groceries, but deep down I knew I was going to come back with booze. I would just buy it, and like you pops, get home asap, so I could pour a big glass to down. That sense of relief that my mental obsession, the irritability had gone was imense. Like you, it was like I had no control once those feelings of restlessness, irritability and discontent kicked in. There power over me was huge. But of course, once that first had gone down, I was always craving more. Until I could crave no more by blacking out.
By stopping the mental obsession, I stop the urge to pick up the first glass, and therefore the craving for more.

wow, you said it perfectly

cindi

[cowgal]

Autopilot

mental obsession

I would just like to know how to stop the mental obsession, thanks for this ponder Popeye, I autopilot into the grocery isle for a 6 pack of my favorite beer all too often, or into the gas station mini mart.................especially on the way home from work after a difficult day (of which there are many!) Wish I would "autopilot" think of doing other things like going to the gym immediately or something, but that is never the case.................

Then I catch myself spiraling down AGAIN.................I hate this, thanks, :thanks:makes me think a little.................

MA:l:h

[ready2change]

Autopilot

I call it my "evil twin". She thinks, "No one's gonna tell me that I can't drink, I'm not THAT bad!" But of course her alter ego "the wise one" is on holiday somewhere and can't reason with her. I guess for me, I have to work hard to chase away the "evil twin". Hopefully she will find someone else to pick on.

R2C

[brittzak]

Autopilot

Every time I drink it is like this. I will think before picking it up..WHY...WHY are you doing this....because once the first swallow is down..I will get drunk and feel like CRAP the next day for sure.

[greeneyes]

Autopilot

God yes, that was an awful feeling. Handing over the money and wishing the cashier would say "You really don't want to do this, go home."

[rejuvenator]

Autopilot

That happened to me just the other day for the first time, where the autopilot won me over, although it was equally matched by a sense of guilt I never had before. I used to go to that store without 2nd thought.

And it wasn't a spur of the moment situation either. It was premeditated. Transfer the money to debit, go to the ATM, get to the store before they close, took a swig as soon as I could.. Paid the price the next day. That other half was saying, "I told you so!" all the rest of the week..

On day 5 now. I think if nothing else, I need to make a rule that if I slip, I will NOT buy the hard shit. With a couple beers, I feel good in the morning, and only have the guilt to deal with. If I even remotely try to relive the vodka days of weeks ago, it takes a massive toll on my system.. Goodbye Vodka!

[nancy]

Autopilot

Yes, it's very classic compulsive behavior. It feels like there is no choice. It can happen with food too. And if you are stressed, you are particularly vulnerable to it.

[rubywillow]

Autopilot

One night I was supposed to drive from one town to my daughter's town, but instead automatically drove to the town where I bought Vodka. When I finally got to her house, an hour late but without AL, she really didn't believe me. Wonder why?