I HATE going to the dentist!

[rejuvenator]

I went to the dentist today, and my teeth are so jacked up. I need a crown but can't afford it, especially because it will involve a root canal. My gums are unhealthy since I never really got into the groove of flossing. I wasn't raised to do that, and I guess it is all due to laziness now. My teeth are beginning to look pretty yellowish from smoking. I feel disgusting.

To top it all off, they did a "deep" cleaning, and apparently my insurance doesn't cover it! $176 I don't have! And all this when I am losing my job in 4 weeks!!!

I went and bought a couple shooters of Smirnoff and downed'em. I feel like I'm already just a remnant of who I was meant to be. I am seriously pissed off and depressed.

Eff this crap.. LiFe SUCKS ASS!

[rubywillow]

I HATE going to the dentist!

Rej, it's just a dental check!! Or is it? Come on, drunk or sober, life will rise up and slap us in the teeth or bite us in the ass any day. Drinking doesn't make it go away, just makes it unimportant in our mind until t'morrow, when it 2X worse. We can't look for excuses, they are EVERYWHERE! Being sober long term doesn't mean my life is now all perfect. My husband still aggravates the crap out of me, and he's still a controlling, complaining, smart ass. Alcohol, with or without it, didn't change a thing. But now I CAN deal with it, and insist on some changes. I digress, I'm sorry, just trying to say EVERYDAY is a new challenge, but SO much easier to deal with sober.
Rubes

[rejuvenator]

I HATE going to the dentist!

I just wish I could have my damn teeth back.. Ugly chompers...

ugh

[rejuvenator]

I HATE going to the dentist!

I feel like I am just waking up in time to find out I'm already half dead.. FUKD UP!

[rubywillow]

I HATE going to the dentist!

OK, Rej, the AL's doing some talking sugar! We all have bad, badder, and baddest days. Just want you to know AL makes them 'DA WORST'!!!!!

[startingover]

I HATE going to the dentist!

Hi rej, you will be surprised how much better you look when you get healthier and stop drinking...it will reflect in every area of your body...
Plus, drinking will only make you more depressed. C'mon buddy, get yourself together and back on the wagon and really see what you can do!

[rejuvenator]

I HATE going to the dentist!

No, I'm not even tipsy. A couple shooters only tickles me tummy, even though I feel supremely guilty for the spontaneous lack of concern for anything.

I am just overwhelmed by the mortality, the way things could've been, how they should've been. My teeth have been ravaged by dentists ever since I was to young to know why. It strikes a cord every time I go in there to find out the next set of procedures they have in store.

I've been nearly AF for 2 weeks. Sober as can be, I always walk out of that joint wanting to kick my own teeth in, especially after gawking at all the pearly whites on the TV...

I feel gross.

[rubywillow]

I HATE going to the dentist!

Rej, I'm sure you would be a doll-baby, no matter what. I was raised in the '50's. On one of my rare visits to the Sado-Masochist they took me to, I, all of 9 years old and expected to be pretty much in charge, passed out cold in their hallway, and it took a while for anyone to notice. I say I have chalk teeth, and I don't write on blackboards. Hate it. But this is just a real pisser for you, today, so, come on, you know it could be worse. We can always throw up our hands and give up, but we can't always climb when the climbing's tough. We're here for you.

[choppersmom]

I HATE going to the dentist!

Rej ~ I have been to the dentist recently with the same outcome. I have always had problems with my gums, but starting a habit of flossing and brushing twice daily can turn that around. Those deep cleanings are expensive and I am sorry you had to go through that. I am going through mine in 3 weeks. I have slacked on my routine of flossing and brushing twice daily, but now know that I need to stick with it.

Just remember you are a wonderful person and you will get through this. You are not gross, so let's kick that feeling to curb. We are all here for you!!!

[rejuvenator]

I HATE going to the dentist!

A big part of it is that I hadn't seen the dentist for 7 years because I had no insurance while in college. My parent's never did shit to take care of me and raise me right, and then I had to fight for an education tooth and nail. Over 100K in student debt later, I made it to find an ugly wretch looking back at me in the mirror.

I'm broke, about to be unemployed, jacked up teeth, probably a fatty liver, etc, etc, etc... a stupid-ass $176 cleaning bill that could've waited a few months considering the state of my mouth anyway. I thought I was doing something good on that track toward healthfulness. $200 for a half-hour of scraping? My ass. I shoulda been a freakin' dentist. Ridiculous!

No wonder I didn't want to quit. Not sure if it pays to see things through MY normal eyes. I am bitter at the world.

[rubywillow]

I HATE going to the dentist!

OK, Rej, go out and kick something inanimate! We're not belittling your situation, you've had it tough. I'm sorry you didn't have support with your ed, raising, etc., truly I am, but looking back, feeling sorry, etc., is a short-lived luxury. We have to keep moving, awful as it is, and AL won't let us for long. Take today off, don't worry about anything, if that's what you need. But tomorrow is a new day. The best revenge is success. And you CAN be a SUCCESS. Your life is bright and new, no matter how bad it looks in your underwear today. I'm at least 30 years older, crazy as a scorched moth, and I LOVE sobriety! All I want for you is that, by the time your my age, you aren't STILL looking backward, with regrets. And BRUSH THOSE DAMN TEETH, BOY!!!! I'll fuss at you if your Momma wont'! Love you, kid, really want you to get well, OK? Don't mess up my day,now. Behave!!!!! LOL

[startingover]

I HATE going to the dentist!

Listen to Rubes Rej, she means it hun...

[Evie.Lou]

I HATE going to the dentist!

I completely understand your frustration...I have more dental problems then I care to even think about BUT...Alcohol isn't gonna make a bad situation better...A drink always just ends up making it worse. You have been doing well with staying AF...Don't let this get in the way of the progress that you have been making.
You have gotten some really good advise here...and we really do care.
Let us help before a slip becomes a full blown relapse.

[rejuvenator]

I HATE going to the dentist!

I appreciate the support from you folks. In a way, I realize I am being extremely emotional. I always walk out of the dentist's office overwhelmed with remorse and self-loathing thoughts.

I brush twice a day, of course missing a few evenings here and there on those drunken nights. It is the flossing that I've never really gotten into doing regularly. The thing that sucks is that the majority of the damage to my teeth was done before I was out of highschool. The majority of it was done before I realized how important it was to take extra-special care of them. I've had dental coverage for probably 3 whopping years out of my whole life.

I wish I was rich. I'd rip these damn things out and swappem for a new set of implants.

I'm calming down now. I appreciate the encouragement you folks are giving me.. I know I am being particularly emotional lately after going AF, so it is easy to trip my trigger, especially with the stress of money and job crap.

Last week my step daughter (she's 15) of 12 years told me she felt no real bond with me and that to her I am a "person who is just there, like nothing," and that she feels closer to one of her goofy friends. I cried for like 3hours after that. I took her in when I was 19 years old and contributed to 50% of her upbringing. I can't imagine anything more insolent and outright disrespectful for a spoiled-ass little brat kid to say.

It's funny how under such circumstances bring up the peculiar theme of paradoxical bullshit. Ok. I was drinking a lot, and not being so great of a person. What is your excuse (I wonder of the people around me)? I'm glad I'm not a blithering self-centered verbally abusive controlling ungrateful creature when I'm normal, unlike almost everybody I deal with on a day-to-day basis.