Hopeless

[Cori]

Hi everyone...:upset: is exactly how I feel. I dont even know what I want. I went AF and it was the BEST feeling ever. I was productive, positive and just felt good. Then I decided I would start moding...why? I am not sucessful at it. So my modding has turned into binges. I cant even fill out drink tracker because I DONT KNOW. I probably drank 22 beers last night. (guessing by the empties that I am not motivated enough to pick up)

I come here for comradery..people who get my troubles. People here are so nice...but I dont want you to be nice. I want someone help me be accountable. I am a fricking adult and I cant hold my self accountable. Can someone PLEASE drill this into me?

I feel like I want to die. NOT suicidal, I just dont want to wake up anymore. i dont know how that makes sense cause I would never hurt myself, but I just want this to be over. well thanks for listening. I'll be on here most the day once I get to the office. Please someone make it click in my little brain

[LaBear]

Hopeless

Hopeless, you sound very depressed and alcohol can do that for sure. What are you taking or doing Topamax/supplements/tapes or Naltrexone? Just wondering because I have had days like yours. Started with the Topa/sup/tapes but the Topa made me more depressed had to taper off and am now doing the Sinclair method with naltrexone. Hope this helps. Good luck!

[greeneyes]

Hopeless

Sorry you're feeling poorly today. It will pass. Drink a lot of water and eat well. Get a little fresh air and exercise.

I think the first thing in order is to decide what you want. Then a plan can be developed. So today, put on your big girl pants, treat yourself well and think about what you want and what it means to you - how badly you want it. :l

[voguefit]

Hopeless

Hi Hopeless
I feel exactly the same way as you today, iknow i can't moderate either, but wish i could, i feel absolutely terrified today, and just can't wait till bedtime when i can shut the curtains & pull the duvet over my head. I had 4 cans @ breakfast this morning (6 hours ago!) and soooo wish i hadn't i always think its going to help, but it just delays the inevitable!!

[polaryzed]

Hopeless

You came to the right place for help . . .

Hi Cori and Voguefit . . .

Like what Greenie said, 'A Plan' to start with would be helpful. Is there any way you can change your AL habits?

Perhaps start Journalling, ummmm go to the library or anywhere to keep busy where there is no AL. Start reading, or taking up a hobby . . . could help. (Anything to break the pattern). What sorts of hobbies do you like?

Do you drink coffee or tea? Perhaps you could keep busy in this forum reading threads and posts with a cup of coffee, tea or some other AF drink.

I found MWO on January 28, 2009 and I have found this forum and the people here to be extremely insightful and inspiring. And I have learned so much about myself and why I was falling into a pattern of drinking. That has changed so much in these last few short months . . . MWO for me is truly a Godsend.

[Lavande]

Hopeless

Hi Cori & voguefit,

Glad you're both here for some support. You will find it and much, much more

Please don't feel hopeless, you are not hopless. Maybe a little tired & worn or confused but definitely not hopeless. There is always hope for all of us!

Start treating yourselves with kindness, some TLC. Rest, drink lots of water & herbal tea, eat good foods, exercise a little if you can. In a day or two you can start making a plan that will work for you. Read the book, look at the Toolbox thread, you'll come up with a lot of good ideas. And, don't forget the art of distraction - did wonders for me. Whenever I had drinking thoughts, I would stop what I was doing and just move on to something completely different. Simple, but really works

Hang in there, wishing you both the very best,
Lavande

[voguefit]

Hopeless

Hubbie has just come home & said he's taking me to London tomorow, normally we would go out for lunch with loads of booze, i don't want to give into the AL again i feel really sh*** @ the moment - HELP!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[polaryzed]

Hopeless

Hi V . . .

Hubbie has just come home & said he's taking me to London tomorow, normally we would go out for lunch with loads of booze, i don't want to give into the AL again i feel really sh*** @ the moment - HELP!!!!!!!!!!!!!


Hi Vogue,

Have you spoken to him about the issue? Can you postpone the trip until you feel better?

[voguefit]

Hopeless

Hi Polarysed
Yep he knows how i feel, but he say's we have to go. I really want to stay sober though because i can't go through another day like today.

[polaryzed]

Hopeless

Hi again V.

Gosh, I am at a lose for words. (I have never drank beer or any hard liquor at breakfast). If I don't get my Tea well I'm just not me.

Can you maybe post this question as a New Thread so others will be able to respond. I so want to help but . . .

Will you have access to a computer so you can be with the good people here at MWO?

Will you be able to go shopping or do other things that don't entail going into a pub or lounge?

Will you be around non-drinkers at all?

Perhaps on your trip there you could go more indepth on the subject with your hubby.

Stay strong . . .

[Angelcakes]

Hopeless

Hi Voguefit, can you talk to your hubby and tell him you don't want to drink. Get it straight in your head what you will drink (AF drink)and stick to it....you gotta start somewhere. Good luck.
Hi Cori, you'll feel better tomorrow...but what the others said, get a plan together. It looks like AF works best for you.

xo

[Evie.Lou]

Hopeless

Cori, i don't think being MEAN to you is gonna do anything to help you get sober so I shall continue to do what i think will help.
What i think WILL HELP is to tell you that most of us have felt like you are feeling right now and didn't think we could ever get better ..BUT ....GUESS WHAT ??????? Many of us did...and I believe you can TOO !!!! What you have tried so far hasn't worked so let's try something else. PM me and we can talk about it. OK ???