Do you see yourself in your children?

[Prest4time]

I have been very aware and careful about this, but something I would probably never have thought about again until I "relived" it in a way.

I noticed my youngest son has not had homework the last two weeks. I have even had notes and emails from teachers to confirm this, as they have been doing end-of-year state testing.

Then I noticed this week that he was a little stressed.. and that he was in a hurry to get some facts on the state of West Virginia. (He is 11).

So I sat down with him... went through all of his backpack and asked all the right questions, as my husband and I do each week and daily if needed. Turns out, he had a project that in his mind was completely overwhelming, and so he has lied to me for two weeks and said he had no homework. The reason he had no homework is because his teachers have not assigned any homework so as not to interfere with this huge project complete with an oral presentation for 3 to 5 minutes in front of the class, a power point presentation and a hand-crafted visual to represent the state in addition to a 15 page written report.

All of that to say, it has brought back a nightmare from the sixth grade. I had a report to do on the country of Holland. I was given plenty of time, but I was just overwhelmed at how to tackle a long term project including research. I did not tell my parents. It counted for the entire 9 week grade... I never turned it in. I pretended to be sick for days and I honestly wanted to do it, I just froze up and could not. For whatever reason, I felt like I could not express how overwhelmed I felt, how scared I was and how awful I felt over the guilt of being such a failure. My best friend got the best grade in the class complete with dressing up in a costume affiliated with her country of choice. Her parents were involved... they helped her.

Needless to say, my son is having next to a panic attack and I just discovered that we have a 15-page report due on Friday with an oral presentation as well, a bibliography (can we say Ask.com Search Engine - Better Web Search) ...

Anyhoo... just wondered if anyone has relived a scary situation through your children. Yes... long term research projects are my worst nightmare! And to boot, I am an involved parent. Arggh.

[greeneyes]

Do you see yourself in your children?

No kids, but the anxiety is paralyzing. Early on, projects like that were overwhelming. As a grad student, I didn't show up for my first round of comprehensive exams. I felt like a fish out of water and could never get enough oxygen. Tiring of listening to me gasping for breath, my mother dragged me to the MD for anti-anxiety pills but they made me too sleepy to study. I worked through some desensitization exercises that were really relaxation techniques with my psych professor and finally made it through.

[CS04]

Do you see yourself in your children?

Oh Allie, what a mess. We had a bit of a situation when my stepson was in 9th grade and had been assigned reading of "Romeo and Juliet" over Thanksgiving weekend. We asked him if he had homework; he said no. Then he failed these quizzes over R&J upon returning from the weekend. We were pissed not because he failed the quizzes, but that he had lied about not having any HW. But then as you say, there is the issue of being overwhelmed sometimes. Kids are very taxed in school, and the state tests loom large.

I don't know if this really answers your question, but I have been there. Maybe you can talk to his teacher. He is still young enough where it's not like high school credit is an issue. And maybe a lesson to be learned, as to being open to mom and dad. I feel for you, hon!

[boozehag]

Do you see yourself in your children?

I think most parents of school kids can identify with this - talk about stress gotta be up there with getting married, moving house, etc. My son had a big science project last year and at the end of the term they displayed all the kids projects for the parents to see. Some were really great and had obviously been done by the kids themselves - like one on which was about which brand of chewing gum keeps its flavour the longest - but you could totally tell which ones had been done by the parents and the funniest thing of all was when the kids had older sisters or brothers and it was the same project trotted out again for the next kid! Now that is what you call a hand me down.... So if its a masterpiece keep it for the next child or auction it on ebay!
BH