Huge question

[Bunge]

After 3 weeks of controlling my drinking I buy a litre of Vodka.

I go out fishing with my girls, come back and all of a sudden get attacked by my wife.

She freaks at me and then my eldest daughter rages me out out of the blue.

WTF.

Trying my best and then get sh$t on!

[Mackeral]

Huge question

After 3 weeks of controlling my drinking I buy a litre of Vodka.


Theres your answer

[rubywillow]

Huge question

There's a lot you haven't said, like what kind of drinking or drunk you were. Maybe your family was 'waiting on the other shoe to drop'. They WANT to believe, want you to be sober, but can't help but expect the usual. Believe me, I know.

[Lavande]

Huge question

Bunge,

Sounds as if your wife & daughter were expecting a little more from you - 3 weeks moderating is a good thing but why go buy more vodka now? How long do you plan on moderating? Do you have a quit date set?
Maybe that's what your family is looking for - an end, finally, to your drinking. Why not sit down with them and discuss your plans? Let them know why you are moderating and for how long. Let them know that you have (or will) set a stop date. I think they are looking for that kind of hope.
I understand that you need to do this on your own time frame. My family was also pissed with me when I didn't quit, entirely, on their time frame. But I am now 7 weeks AF and I hope they will eventually be as happy as I am right now.

Give them something they can hold onto, something the can trust and believe in.

All the best,
Lavande

[Mackeral]

Huge question

I was a bit short then Bunge im sorry...You sound like me having the best intentions...I dont know your situation either..I apologise...

[Tiny]

Huge question

Bunge,

My husband was once soooo mad at me when he came home on a Friday afternoon and I was very buzzed -- he was firm with me (didn't yell but expressed his disappointment and actual disgust) I felt like pond scum. Well, the next day he made the comparison when he had a torn ACL and then needed surgery -- he remembered how I was there and helped him wih crutches, etc. He said he was sorry for not being more understanding about my struggle -- it was an open and honest conversation. It also made me think -- had I crippled myself? Indeed I had... I crippled myself with wine.

[rubywillow]

Huge question

It is always about us being told what to do, i.e. drinking, and our family, friends, etc., expectations and hopes from us. I've been on both sides. I'm a long time into my journey now, and still learning, struggling, hurting, but rejoicing at the life I almost lost. I just quit smoking a few weeks ago, and am struggling with that too, and we have to understand everyone around us has a life too. Each person is living their day, for better or worse, just like we are. I hope you find someone here who really strikes a chord with you and helps you with your journey.

[Winefree]

Huge question

Bunge, they want you to stop. My husband didn't get quite as vocal about my drinking and continuous AL purchases, he kept most of it hidden inside.
If he had gotten more vocal like your family, I might have listened and he might still be here with me.
It took him walking out until I got serious about the problem I was trying to control on occasion for so long, but could not.
I know you don't want to "hear" them, but you should try to put yourself in their shoes and see if you like what you see.

Learning too late

Winefree

[Sunbeam]

Huge question

Bunge,
I congratulate you on your 3 weeks of controlling your drinking. I imagine that is good progress for you. Hang onto this success and use it to build your AF time. Your family is disappointed, but you can still be successful.

[Sweaty Betty]

Huge question

This may seem like a ridiculous question, but did you drink the vodka? Or is it just sitting there waiting to be drunk?

Bx

[Pan]

Huge question

Doesn't really matter, Bet. If it's there, it's not there for decoration.