What is Reasonable with teens

[Cntrygrl]

First - I want to say - I am asking for advice - preferably from teen parents - I do wnat the lectures and I don't want the graphic gruesome details of somebody's tradegy. I am aware of all of these things - I am looking for a little guidance, understanding and compassion form those of you wh are here now or have been.

I have a junior in highschool. Who is for the most part a straight shooter and quite good by most standards. He recently started experimenting with AL and doesn't drink much at all. We are quite frank about this stuff wih our kids, so we do talk about it (I am sure there may be more I am not told). I do not think it is really something I can control, nor am I certain that would be the right thing to do. His friends are welcome here, but I do not allow them to drink in my house and i don't think they do much of it anyway. He will be going to college in less than a year and half and I certainly don't want him there with all that partying and go wild because he never had any freedom.

I am not worried about him driving. I just question whether I am doing the right thing. If I simply try not to allow it, it will still happen and I just won't know about it. I'd rather they know i will be there if they need me for a ride or if somebody is sick. Too many parents think this stuff isn't happening and their kids won't call them, even if they need help. i think that is a bad idea.

Any one been here or is here now.

[Sweaty Betty]

What is Reasonable with teens

Hi cntrygirl.

I think just by being aware that your teen is experimenting you're on the right page. We live in a country that is considered to be very 'safe' and there is a huge amount of denial about the amount of teen drinking that goes on. I hope that I am open and honest with my Teens, and that they would be able to come to me if they needed help.

I think you have to have confidence in your instincts and not worry about what other parents might be thinking/doing.

I hope that's the sort of thing you were looking for?

I'm curious though, do you have issues with AL? I'm just wondering why you chose to post on MWO.

Best Wishes

Bx

[Lavande]

What is Reasonable with teens

Hi Cntrygrl,

Have been there and done it!!

We have successfully 'launched' 2 kids out into the world, raising them with our own set of rules & regulations. We were upfront & blunt with them, which was came naturally for us - Mom the nurse and Dad the police officer. They were actually Jr. High age when we started educating them about choices. We had a zero tolerance policy in our house. No underage drinking arrests, no DUIs, no teenage pregnancies, etc.
We basically made a deal with them: we will pay college tuition for them, allowing them to graduate loan free provided they followed the rules. If they chose to not follow the rules then their lives were going to be very different and difficult.

Our method was effective, I'm happy to say. I think it's important to remember that YOU are the parent, the hell with what other people think or say........... you know your kids better than anyone. Your job is to give them all the facts and then trust that they make the right choices.

Most importantly - don't be shy with your kids - tell them what they need to know then pray a lot

Good luck,
Lavande

[Sweaty Betty]

What is Reasonable with teens

Excellent response Lavande! It's always good to hear from someone who'se been there and survived!

Bx

[Pan]

What is Reasonable with teens

Well, if you allow them to drink in your house, I think that would be a safer option where you can keep an eye on things. They, being teenagers and experimenting, will go somewhere else otherwise.