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Daughter Blues

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    #1

    Daughter Blues

    Hi All,
    I've been reading online for almost a year now and have been getting myself to a better place slowly but surely. Little did I know how much my past drinking actions have affected my family members. My husband and I just cleaned-up my daughter who is now laying passed out on the bathroom floor. Looks like it will be a long nite for me. It will be interesting to see what she says in a few days as to why she figured she'd hit the bottle to resolve the problem of breaking up with her first serious boyfriend. I told her dad, she sure takes after her mom.
    I was wondering if anyone had any suggestions on how to approach this with her. I figure she is not going to be any good for at least a day....she had way to many different shots of different drinks per her girlfriend. Any suggestions gratefully accepted.

    KMJ
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    #2
    Daughter Blues

    Don't be so quick to blame yourself. My Mother didn't drink at ALL and I was alot like your daughter. I wish I had the answer. Everyone always says REHAB right away. I have a 19 year old daughter too. She doesn't drink at all, but she overeats and has a weight problem and I always blame myself for that.
    We Moms, especially if we have a fault, blame ourselves. Try talking to her while she doesn't feel so good. Good luck.

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      #3
      Daughter Blues

      mother guilt,I know I definitely have it and I hear it coming out of you.It's really hard not to blame ourselves but that doesn't do anybody any good.Makes me more stuck in the bottle myself dealing with the pain of my two girls.My advice is to be honest with the mistakes you've made and you want her to learn to handle things better.good luck

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        #4
        Daughter Blues

        KMJ, my mother did not drink, my dad did not drink, we had no booze in the house. So don't blame yourself. How old is your girl?
        Meow-Meow
        MonaKitty

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          #5
          Daughter Blues

          its very powerful as a child to realise that your parents struggled and a vital part of growing up, I think. be honest with your daughter and by doing so you will find that you are being honest by yourself.
          good luck
          Brigid

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            #6
            Daughter Blues

            My advise is to be honest with your daughter about your own struggles. I have two daughters of my own (23 and 20) and have been painfully honest with them both on the subject of drinking. I know I have not always set the best example when it comes to drinking, but I have always trued to be honest about it. My parents weren't and it hurt me - still does. My parents inability to be honest with me about their drinking made it harder for me to face my drinking problems. Being a Mom has humbled me a million times - I am over thinking I need to be perfect for them - I just want them to know they can have an open and honest conversation wirh me about anything - no judgement. So, talk to your daughter and let her know that you think she is an awesome human being and no boy is worth jumping into a bottle over!
            Good luck!

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              #7
              Daughter Blues

              I feel your pain. My daughter is 16 and thank god she is a sipper. I, by contrast, am a gallon guzzler and can sink a litre a second. Hopefully this will make a difference. I allow her a small drink every now and then but she knows my problems and knows how hard it is to overcome them.

              It is definitely a guilt thing for us but as some of the girls say, their mothers didnt drink - mine didnt - she was and still is as righteous and as white as the snow. She loves a tipple now though.

              Just be good to her and show her how easy it is to lose control and become a "lush" this is a word I use with caution

              Have a couple of drinks for sure with a friend and talk about your problems if thats what she needs but dont get carried away. She is young after all and she is going to do it anyway but its the control thing she needs to get a handle on early on. Its hard for us so its gonna be hard for her later on.

              All the best.

              Love and Hugs, Jools xxx
              Jools
              "The lazy man always works the hardest"
              "Pride always comes before a fall"
              :l

              Comment

                #8
                Daughter Blues

                Back to All

                Thanks to everyone who responded. Yes I do feel guilty but it was her mistake not mine. Guess I'm still shocked she would pull such a stupid stunt!Even she can't believe she did something like that. She is still in the defiante stage so I will have to wait until she simmers down a bit to talk some more, she barely talked when we went shopping yesterday, since I forbid her from dring for 48 hours. I took away her freedom and indepence for that period of time. Today she had to start college. Even tho she's 18 I grounded her for a month. She's basically a good girl and I've never had this happen before, I just don't want it to happen again. Hard life-lesson for her to learn. Also want her to realize it didn't just impact her it impacted the whole family and her friends since now she can't see them for the next month. KMJ

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                  #9
                  Daughter Blues

                  Good move KMJ, I wish my Mum could still ground me - I'm only 45? Love Jools xxxx
                  Jools
                  "The lazy man always works the hardest"
                  "Pride always comes before a fall"
                  :l

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