MWO Members Rant!

[Saint Jude]

MWO Members Rant!

Me Too! I just thought it was something I'd done w/pics from Vegas vacation...& computer...

Normally I'd say, "Don't sweat the petty things,.. Pet the Sweaty things!"
But in this case... Damn RJ...This just HAS GOTTA SUCK! Wish there was something we could do here...But in any any case:thanks: we love ya! And thanks SOOOO MUCH for all your hard work, and for being you....:h
Judie

[RoseKat]

MWO Members Rant!

I was sick for a day, crawled out of bed to have a peak at the boards, and found a GREAT tirade by our one and only Fearless Leader! Way to nail 'em, RJ! That was AWESOME! We’ll ride out whatever changes you have in store for us, 'cause you couldn’t find us anything worse than those guys, apparently.

And for Brian and anyone else who needs to hear it, you have to put the oxygen mask on yourself first before you can help anyone else survive a plane crash. This is one of my affirmations.

Sorry, I know this is for rants, but I can't help trying to fix things. I'll go back to bed now...

[gabby]

MWO Members Rant!

RJ, I think its so cute that you used the rant! I'm with becca tho. Hope I dont be pissen YOU off any time soon. Just call me ready to duck gabbs. Thats it....new name for me....GABBY DUCK. all smiles here. : )

[Lucy Van Pelt]

MWO Members Rant!

my turn

ok I rarely post...but need to rant..so hear it goes....

I have 2 kids....they mean everything in the world to me...as those of you who know me from here probably know by now. My daughter in particular, who is 17, I have tried to be everything to and for. Not that I love her any more than my son, but she is a bit deeper, more complicated I guess, and because I never had a mom I felt was there for me, emotionally, I have really tried her entire life to be a good mom. I haven't smothered either of my kids, but I have really tried to be good to them. To be fair, diplomatic, listen to their needs, blah, blah blah. Anyway, they have so far turned out wonderful in that they are both great students, not in any trouble, good people etc. HOWEVER. Erica is truly selfish and disconnected when it comes to me, and to this family in general. She is emotional closed off, takes me in particular for granted, and I am truly tired of it. I have tried to talk to her, but we are at an impass. She actually threw the history of my drinking in my face, which really got me pissed off. I told her that I was, and I am, truly sorry for that, and that as she knows, I am doing every thing I can to try and deal with this issue (she knows all I am doing, and I bring it up, but she doesn't seem to want to talk about it other than when she throws it at me in anger). I told her that at least I can take responsibility for my faults and aplogize for them, and outside of this issue I think I have been the best mom I can be, and I don't feel she even tries to meet me in the middle for a relationship. I am saddened because I can't even imagine, after she leaves for college, what we would have to say to each other on a phone conversation, as she does not share, and seems disinterested in anything I may have to share with her.

I am crying as I write this because it is probably the issue closest to my heart, and I do not know what I can do about it. If you all knew how hard I have tried since the day she was born to be a good mom to her. Not be be her best friend but to put her needs first always. My heart is breaking. I am sorry I have an issue with drinking. For most of her childhood I drank after her bedtime, and then I drank (literally) in a closet, because I knew it was a problem. I am not excusing it. But I have a problem I am dealing with and I have always done the best I could to try to shield my kids from its effects. I have been open with them about it and relatively successful since starting this program. That is all I can do. Other than that, I have made their lunches every day, read stories to them before every bed time when they were little, drove them to school, had their friends here to play, take the time to ask about school, friendships, teachers, feelings. Bring them for milkshakes after shots at the doctor, suprise them with love notes once in a while in their lunches, and work their needs around a full time job and a spouse...always with joy. I just am not feeling the joy right now.

OK...I am done...Thanks for listening

Beth

[southernbelle47]

MWO Members Rant!

Dear Beth,

You said it all when you said I have a daughter...she is 17. I too have a daughter....she is now 35............wow....where does time go..

I could have written your story. At 17, my daughter was head-strong and
going to "make her own mistakes". I knew nothing and we couldn't talk.

I have GOOD news!!!!!!!!!!!!! This too shall pass. She is still a little girl but becoming a woman. She will question everything you have taught her and decide on what she can keep for herself.
Please don't let it make you feel like you have failed . We ALL have things in our lives that we wish were not there. Take your guilt(which is useless).........and if you think you need to change something about yourself, turn it into conviction (which is a good thing) and set off on a new path for yourself. I'm sorry that you have had to endure hurtful words from her about your drinking. She will understand.......someday.

Hang in and don't be so hard on yourself.

Nancy:l

[sujul]

MWO Members Rant!

Okay--here's my rant for today...

I was excited when my pysch recommended that I try a new anti-depressant because I have awful, awful depressions that I was clearly trying, unsuccessfully, to self-medicate with alcohol....wrong--alcohol just makes it much worse! BUT, the depression IS still there when you stop drinking....:upset:

So I get this prescription for this new med...actually, it's a new way of delivering an older drug--selegiline, which is a class of AD's (MAOI) that have worked for me in the past and not kicked in the mania phase of my bipolar thing....this is now in the form of a "patch."

Okay, so I go to pick up the prescription: the clerk looks at me strangely and says, "You DO know how much this costs, right?" "No," says I.

Turns out, it's $489!!!! For one month!!!! AND my insurance doesn't cover it.... Even if it did, I'd go over the cap amount in a couple of months....

Guess, I'll be taking the generic tablet form after all....THAT's dirt cheap...just have to put up with the side-effects, which I could have avoided if I had been able to actually afford this new patch form....

Insurance companies, bah!! Pharmaceutical companies, double bah!

susan

[Newyear]

MWO Members Rant!

I know you aren't really supposed to respond..just vent...But...
Just have to say ---- Susan --- I was just shocked when I read that...it made me do one of those
nervous laugh out loud things - I laughed and then thought ...why did I laugh that is horrible.
I think because that is absurd!!!!!! Like they made up some crazy number and said 'hey, I know, let's tell em it cost...oh I don't know 489.00 he he he'... That it a car payment for a bmw!!

hope that all came out how I meant it to sound.....just shocked for you...ba!! to all of them too
lisa

[Lucy Van Pelt]

MWO Members Rant!

Thank you Nancy

I needed the response...

and the hug!

Beth

[sujul]

MWO Members Rant!

Thanks, Lisa! I totally got your reaction--I read it aloud and my partner and I had a good laugh at your take--and you're right--it really IS like they just made something up! "Yeah, let's charge 'em $489 :H :H "

Beth, I am so sorry you're having such a miserable time with your teenage daughter right now...I know I was the same way to my mother who treated me with nothing but kindness and consideration and much, much love...and during my teenage years I was nothing but ungrateful and nasty to her.... the good news is that we now have a wonderful relationship. But I know she cried many, many tears during that time...

May I recommend a really interesting new book that came out this month: The Female Brain by Louann Brizendine, MD. The chapter entitled, "Teen Girl Brain" is especially relevant. The book is an excellent exploration of the actual differences between male and female brains and the changes in the brain structure that come with the changes in hormones at the different phases of a woman's life: birth, puberty, child birth, menopause, etc. She then discusses the results of those hormonal changes in the brain in terms of emotions, who/how we relate, etc., etc.

It is not only a fascinating read, but tells us a lot about female hormones and the impact on the brain and behavior--and I think you will find it very, very informative about what is going on with your daughter at this time in her life. And, basically, it really has nothing to do with you or your actions...it is something that has to be "endured" much like the so-called "terrible two's" etc.

Not a rant I know, and I have made this a general post rather than sent you a private message because I think many of us could benefit from this excellent new book which was given to me by a friend who buys new books for a great little bookstore here in NYC. It really explains a lot...and I thought of it immediately when I read your post about your daughter.
Best wishes--
:h
susan
Okay, back to ranting, y'all....

[Lucy Van Pelt]

MWO Members Rant!

Thanks susan

on my way to Barnes and Nobel Today!!!

[pansy]

MWO Members Rant!

Sorry Beth

Hi Beth,

Sorry you are having such a hard time with your teenager. I guess all I can do is echo what Susan said about being awful to my own Mom during those years. Seems like most teenagers take their parents for granted - possibly even the better parents, because they know you WILL always be there. Erica knows that no matter how awful she is, you will still love her to pieces. BTW - my mom and I are now very close and she is a pretty crazy person, not like you at all.

It is dirty tricks to throw the drinking issue at you - but she does not have a whole lot of experience expressing anger in a constructive way yet. She is only 17. Perhaps that is one factor. I am sure over time, as she sees you dealing with the alcohol issue successfully, her attitudes towards the drinking issue will change. I think you are providing her with a great model in how hard you worked to face this issue and how you accepted responsibility for helping yourself.

Thinking of you,
Pansy

[pansy]

MWO Members Rant!

Efficient Rant

Hi all,

Okay, I am here with another efficient rant. I need to get going but I am upset about a few things today.

1. When putting together my Gazelle (exercise equipment), I accidentally jarred the wires from one of
the monitoring cords. Well, the directions said to stick the excess wires into the handle, which I did -
dislodging the wires attached to that piece. Very upsetting as I will have a lot of trouble fixing this one and may even have to call and get another one sent out- we all know that is such a hassle.

2. Someone deleted a thread that I had posted on because they did not like what I had to say. Shabby, shabby. That one really gets me, since I felt that board members had a need to know about some of the wild, wacky, and sometimes dangerous advice on supplements that has been given out. The poster stated she was qualified to give such advice as someone with extensive training in medicine, naturopathy, and nutrition - so I asked what kind of training. I think it important to know who is giving out medical advice, which has been very wrong in the past. There were no responses to any inquiry regarding these purported qualifications, so I can only assume that this person does not really have extensive training or necessarily deep understanding of what is being posted. Perhaps that is why the thread was pulled?

Posts that have been copied and pasted contradict advice that this person has given to members regarding the taking of a particular supplement, widely known to be inappropriate for certain groups of people. However, the initial posts regarding this supplement, DHEA, indicate that the "prescriber" did not even know that DHEA was a precursor hormone and that the body can convert it to either estrogen or testosterone, making it a dangerous supplement for anyone with concerns about either hormone-sensitive breast cancer or androgen disorders. Yet, concerns expressed by other board members were dismissed in a very flippant fashion. Only days later did another chunk of copied and pasted text appear on that thread, backpeddling and providing further information on the supplement - still ignoring that certain individuals should not take it.

I happen to belong to both groups of people who should not take this supplement, so it did make me angry to see a person recommending it as a benign agent for everyone to take. Still, I kept my mouth shut until this person posted another chunk of pasted text advising people to go off their prescription medications and detox their bodies. This advice was generally represented, again, as a benign activity that would be beneifical for all reading. This advice was to be considered sound due to the qualifications of the poster, who again refused to disclose her training. Backpeddling again, the poster amended that this of course should be done under a doctor's supervision.

I would not bother looking for any of those posts regarding DHEA - I am betting they are gone too. So be warned and do your own research regarding ANY supplements you are advised to take by resident experts who are not qualified to prescribe. I am glad that THIS post cannot be deleted so easily.

Sorry for such long rant,
Pansy

[cv1]

MWO Members Rant!

Pansy, I deleted the post purposely because I took your and campers comments to heart and did not want to cause more confusion or issues. Because I feel I'm allowed my anonymity as all here are, I do not feel that you should take issue with my "not providing my credentials". I have that training that I spoke of but I will not provide it to you to "prove" myself. Nor would I ask anyone else who is providing "emotional" and "psychological" advice to prove that they have the right to share what they believe and what has worked for them.

My removing the "offensive" research post was to soothe you and Camper, not to cause issues, so rant away if you must. If you want to ask RJ to recover the thread, feel free to do so when she returns from vacation. No disrespect intended to anyone as I believe everyone that is on the board is intelligent, adult and primarily responsible, with the exception perhaps of the offshore meds.

[happycamper68]

MWO Members Rant!

CV,
I don't need to be soothed and I feel you are being condescending here. You deleted those posts because you knew they were irresponsibile, and that's a fact. You won't cite your credentials because this is an anonoymous site yet you'll dole out treatment advice like it's candy every day? That is ludicrous. I was trying to help you and all the members on the site when I posted my reply to your post about detoxifying because you were trying to treat people that were taking scripts. Enough with the copying and pasteing already and let's deal with the booze. Thanks, Camper

[lushy]

MWO Members Rant!

Not a rant

Susan, just wanted to say thanks for the book tip. Maybe my husband will learn something from reading it as well??? I asked him for a separation last night (which of course I did not mean; it was said in anger because he just does not understand the female brain) and told him he needs to get more educated with what goes on in my brain and how it effects my emotions. He is sooooo laid back and happy all of the time he just does not get it. I envy the brain chemistry he has. A lot of my problem too is my anger and guilt about my drinking problem, but since I am in the midst of working on it hopefully this will diminish. THanks again!