Oh my god. I cannot believe what has happened to me in the last 18 hours. I have been doing the MWO program for about a month, pretty much the whole 9 yards, supps, Topa, CD's, these boards, you name it. And I did not start out "at the bottom" at least not in my own perspective, I started out as someone recognizing that I do have a problem but I wanted to get a handle on it BEFORE I would hit bottom.
Well, now here I am with all this progress and last night I got my first ever DUI. I am so ashamed, terrified, lost, guilty, etc etc etc you all know I'm sure especially if any of you have had this happen. I was alone in the car, thank heavens, but my husband had to come pick me up in the basement of the police station at nearly midnight, carrying our baby in the carrier and walking our 3-year old in his jammies and a coat by the hand.
I think that's about bottom.
The most stupid part is, although it doesn't pay to speculate at this point, I'm wondering if I wasn't on 100 mg of Topa and if I hadn't reduced my tolerance so much over the last month of so much less consumption if things last night wouldn't have turned out a little different. Not making excuses here, just musing. And certainly I'm NOT saying in any way that MWO is not the place for me to be. It is, more than ever, and I'm lucky to be alive and that nobody else was hurt either. Just my pride, put a huge dent in my marriage, my car insurance situation will be sketchy, will have to do the court thing and hope I can hold onto my license, BLAH BLAH BLAH.
So, why tell you all this sad story? Not for sympathy, I'm actually hoping for some practical advice about getting an attorney and next steps. If anyone has what to do or even more to the point, anything NOT to do in my situation I would really appreciate any advice you're willing to share.
I for one am getting back on the wagon, and this time know that I do have to get the AF time going BIG AND STRONG. I tried this again way to soon. And never might be too soon for me. That much is becoming clear. Thanks for reading so much.
Well, now here I am with all this progress and last night I got my first ever DUI. I am so ashamed, terrified, lost, guilty, etc etc etc you all know I'm sure especially if any of you have had this happen. I was alone in the car, thank heavens, but my husband had to come pick me up in the basement of the police station at nearly midnight, carrying our baby in the carrier and walking our 3-year old in his jammies and a coat by the hand.
I think that's about bottom.
The most stupid part is, although it doesn't pay to speculate at this point, I'm wondering if I wasn't on 100 mg of Topa and if I hadn't reduced my tolerance so much over the last month of so much less consumption if things last night wouldn't have turned out a little different. Not making excuses here, just musing. And certainly I'm NOT saying in any way that MWO is not the place for me to be. It is, more than ever, and I'm lucky to be alive and that nobody else was hurt either. Just my pride, put a huge dent in my marriage, my car insurance situation will be sketchy, will have to do the court thing and hope I can hold onto my license, BLAH BLAH BLAH.
So, why tell you all this sad story? Not for sympathy, I'm actually hoping for some practical advice about getting an attorney and next steps. If anyone has what to do or even more to the point, anything NOT to do in my situation I would really appreciate any advice you're willing to share.
I for one am getting back on the wagon, and this time know that I do have to get the AF time going BIG AND STRONG. I tried this again way to soon. And never might be too soon for me. That much is becoming clear. Thanks for reading so much.
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