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ok after hearing all the EXCUSES how do you think you could handle everything now

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    #1

    ok after hearing all the EXCUSES how do you think you could handle everything now

    OK after hearing all the excuses .. now how do you think you can handle everything that comes at you ????

    for me its been hell and back ..the last 2 years have been..
    #1 death in family
    #2 lack of money and work ..
    #3 gf wanting to leave when things get tough..
    #4 at the worst time you can think of "Xmas"
    #5 and family still up and down

    how did i handle them...
    coming to realization that things.. i can only fix is myself and no one else..
    knowing what i and only i wants in life and living it AF..
    :beach: life does change as long as you are willing to change yourself ..
    best thing about the future it comes one day at a time..
    Tags: None
    #2
    ok after hearing all the EXCUSES how do you think you could handle everything now

    Hi All
    T great follow up to get us thinking and examining our relationship with al.For me When I started this time on getting al out of my life I really tried to arm myself with information. I in the past had every excuse under the sun to drink.In reading the posts here and wanting to live life as a non drinker I new it was not only going to be about stopping drinking but a complete change in a mind set that used al to cope with everything in life.This past year I have not allowed al to enter into the process of dealing with life. I have take in the good along with the bad and have dealt with it.Many times I found myself saying this is a time I would use al. What was different was I was thinking not just acting out of habit or what ever.I was choosing and al was not a choice.
    So at this time I am very happy making the choice to eliminate al from my life.I am happy that new people who meet me think of me as a non drinker. I will be facing the aspect of death of a parent as my father is failing a little but this is life. al doesn't change it or stop it but can hasten my death. Life on life's terms some smart person said.

    Stay Healthy and Keep Fighting
    AF 5-16-08
    Stay Healthy and Keep Fighting
    AF 5-16-08

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      #3
      ok after hearing all the EXCUSES how do you think you could handle everything now

      T-baby, WHAT excuse?!?! Sobriety can be its own excuse, you know. I've had more problems with Hubs since I've been sober than ever when I was drinking, tho he blamed all our problems on alcohol. Now, its, well, who knows, since I'm aware of everything going on and I'm not happy with the way our life is going.
      sigpic
      Never look down on a person unless you are offering them a hand up.
      awprint: RUBY Imagine yourself doing What you love and loving What you do, Being happy From the inside Out, experiencing your Dreams wide awake, Being creative, being Unique, being you - changing things to the way YOU know they can BE - Living the Life you Always imagined.awprint:

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        #4
        ok after hearing all the EXCUSES how do you think you could handle everything now

        Rubywillow I experienced something very similiar. Blamed me for everything cause I drank, well he still tried that of course cause it was like a bad habit, as bad a habit as drinking. It takes awhile to iron that stuff out and I stuck to my guns which meant more fighting. We are doing good now, we bicker at times but the horrible stuff is over.

        Sammys

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          #5
          ok after hearing all the EXCUSES how do you think you could handle everything now

          you know ruby you may be on to something there.. i see it too ..its like we have woken up and they are still somewhat asleep ..and not knowing how to take us anymore ... are we becoming pushy.. more eyes wide open to more things now..
          :beach: life does change as long as you are willing to change yourself ..
          best thing about the future it comes one day at a time..

          Comment

            #6
            ok after hearing all the EXCUSES how do you think you could handle everything now

            I know. All of a sudden you realize - HEY - there's no reason for me to be the whipping boy (or girl) any more. Maybe it was someone elses crutch as much as mine, right?
            sigpic
            Never look down on a person unless you are offering them a hand up.
            awprint: RUBY Imagine yourself doing What you love and loving What you do, Being happy From the inside Out, experiencing your Dreams wide awake, Being creative, being Unique, being you - changing things to the way YOU know they can BE - Living the Life you Always imagined.awprint:

            Comment

              #7
              ok after hearing all the EXCUSES how do you think you could handle everything now

              I just know that when I'm sober, and when I get sleep, I can approach issues so much better than before.

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                #8
                ok after hearing all the EXCUSES how do you think you could handle everything now

                yeah exally you could be right ruby
                :beach: life does change as long as you are willing to change yourself ..
                best thing about the future it comes one day at a time..

                Comment

                  #9
                  ok after hearing all the EXCUSES how do you think you could handle everything now

                  My excuse/trigger was often marital conflict - especially when not being "heard". I would actually say "I'm going to go have a smoke and drink so my mouth is busy" when my husband would not engage in problem solving. What's interesting is his mother drank herself to death while his father looked on. I'm not sure if we'll have more arguments, but it's important for me to remember, literally, what's important to me.

                  Having said that, my husband was the recipient of some pretty ridiculous wine tirades. I'm glad that has ended!

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                    #10
                    ok after hearing all the EXCUSES how do you think you could handle everything now

                    Ruby & Lemonhead,

                    I totally understand your thoughts and feelings on the husband issues. I too used to 'keep my mouth shut' with a bottle or so of wine per day. He pestered me to quit so now he's hearing ALL of my thoughts whether he wants to or not..........
                    This is still early stages for me so I guess it will level out at some point if we don't kill each other first (just kidding)
                    AF since 03/26/09
                    NF since 05/19/09
                    Success comes one day at a time :thumbs:

                    Comment

                      #11
                      ok after hearing all the EXCUSES how do you think you could handle everything now

                      Hi T,
                      You really are amazing - I read your story a while ago.
                      Thanks for posting this, it's come at just the right time for me...having to live with my family & all their dramas for a while. You're right, I can't change the drama going on around me but I can change me.
                      xo

                      Comment

                        #12
                        ok after hearing all the EXCUSES how do you think you could handle everything now

                        even though all my problems havent disappeared,i am dealing with them with a clear & open mind,i am not as angry or anxious as i was & am also more aware of whats really going on & i don't miss my pass life what so ever


                        :congratulatory: Clean & Sober since 13/01/2009 :congratulatory:

                        Until one is committed there is always hesitant thoughts.
                        I know enough to know that I don't know enough.

                        This signature has been typed in front of a live studio audience.

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                          #13
                          ok after hearing all the EXCUSES how do you think you could handle everything now

                          hi T and the rest,your hitting the 2 year hump,been there,the mind is a very cunning,organ,even in years of sobriety that old evil will always remain,not only in drink but sobriety,now were the good folks,its our partner,guess i have to be the bad guy,itts not your partner that has changed ,its you,remember when you married them,there still the same,maybe we didnt see it,we drank to much,never forget where it took you have a wonderful day gyco

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                            #14
                            ok after hearing all the EXCUSES how do you think you could handle everything now

                            by the way as they say at AA i have to come here to be put back too reality thnx gang

                            Comment

                              #15
                              ok after hearing all the EXCUSES how do you think you could handle everything now

                              erm ... I would say having friends .. both those that have the same problems and those that don't (they can put a different perspective on things ...!) has helped me through the worst of times ...
                              ?We are one another's angels?
                              Sober since 29/04/2007

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