Nature V Nurture

[Bambino]

I think that all of us here, must have a pre-disposition to that Gene which Kim was discussing in a previous post..

I am adopted, but have found out that My Birth Mothers' father was found dead, on a bench in Belfast ( Ireland ) and had drunk himself silly all of his life. That is why SHE never drank because of abuse towards HER mum. Now then, My mum ( adoptive) says to me that I drink because I have found this out. but, my parents do not 'drink'...

My dad has a pint of lager in the pub twice a week - But NEVER drinks at home ...
SO Is it Nature or Nurture? I'm leaning towards the Nature side...
I don't know

What do you reckon Peeps ????

[Guest]

Nature V Nurture

Both

I say it's a whole lot of both, Bambs.
My grandfather on my dad's side died of cirrhosis in his 60's. Grandpa on the other side drank every day (at least in his retirement...for as long as I knew him, anyhow), and grandma on mom's side....sh*t, we had to water down her whiskey and then finally take it away from her when the dementia got so significant she couldn't remember how much she's had. Even now ( I was taking care of grandma last wk), when it's cocktail hour, she wants a "drink". We give her Ensure (nutritional shake) cuz she's only about 90 pounds. She will say "is this my drink? I'm not sure what I mix with it. I guess the liquor...".
Both parents drink. My dad to excess, my mom pretty moderately, but every single day (maybe that's not so moderate!)
Here's the thing, I GREW UP that way. Knowing that booze was how you celebrate, how you relax, how you mourn, how you socialize. So that's the nature part, I think. PLUS, growing up in Canada, beer is pretty much the National Beverage of choice. Oh, whiskey too. (rye, for fellow Canadians!).

So nature and nurture. I'm sure that if no one in your family or friend circle drinks, you will be less likely to partake. But in a situation like yours, Bambs, when you find out about heavy drinking in your immediate family even though you were not around it, that's a pretty strong vote for the nature thing!

Either way, I'd love to not pass it on to my kids. I know they see us partying and drinking. Will have to start talking about the dangers and our family's predisposition to overdrink to the point of terminal illness... yikes. Heavy stuff for this early in the morning! I'm glad they are still young. I need to figure this thing out!

hmmmmmmmmmmm,

[gateway]

Nature V Nurture

wow. what a great reply becca. i'll drink to that. coffee that is.
where is young at heart these days?
she is usually spot on.

[Guest]

Nature V Nurture

Bambs

There was a post on another site that laid out research on this that I could understand. I copied it and put it in a word document--if you are interested ezbox me your regular e-mail address and I will send it to you. I don't know how to attach it here.

It bascically lays out that our bodies metabolize the alcohol differentlyand it imprints on our brains differently. This is being proven through medical studies. It also discusses Post Acute Withdrawl which explains why somone can have a number of days be it 30, 120 or even 2 years and how relapse happens.

I can trace mine back 4 generations all the way back to my Great Grandfather who was drunk and got hit and killed by a train while drunk--my grandfather was 2 at the time. The other Great Grandfather beat his kids and when their mother died in childbirth he promptly dropped all 5 kids off at the children's home. Both grandfather's had this and my father and an uncle.

I am also reading a book called "Adult Children of Alcoholics Syndrome". This lays out some interesting information on how both your parents can be non-drinkers, but it will skip a generations also. It also, lays out how the alcoholic family functions and those functions can get passed down into families where no one drinks. Its really interesting. It is my family!

I side more with the nature concept. If it was just nuturing then when we wanted to stop we could, it may be difficult, but we could.

Kim

[MonaCat]

Nature V Nurture

Facinating thread, thanks for sharing. My parents did not drink at home, and very little socially if at all. My siblings do not drink. I learned to drink socially in my late 20's when I was a professional and had to attend so called social work related functions. After I learned to hold a few, I began to love the buzz. Some how I crossed the line. Darn, I can't blame my parents, and by the way, neither sets of grandparents drank either. Go figure?!

[Bambino]

Nature V Nurture

Meeeeow !!!

Thanks for all your responses, Becca, Gateway and my husband, who hasn't... responded -that is ....
A Miaow is SO much better than a YAP down your ear at 3 o'clock in the morning !!!! From naughty Jack Russells.


Love to you, and your kittys'
Liz beth XXXXX

Kim P.S dead interested re your download chix... Can you send it to me? it's buglitdaisy@aol.com

[C]

Nature V Nurture

For what its worth...for the consistent 10 - 15% of the population who have a problem I believe it is 90% nature, ie genetics. Some percentage of those who are aware of their problem & that it IS genetic try to control it. For those who do not rry at all it is death.

For those who drink because it was nurture, in the home, and then have a problem, they have other clinical problems, such as depression or other mental disorders, but not primarily alcoholism.

[Allie]

Nature V Nurture

This subject I would love to figure out! My parents socially drank while I was growing up and I never saw it out of hand. My Dad, who just turned 65, has had a BAD problem for the last ten to twelve years. Apparently I am now learning that HIS father started having a bad problem with drinking in his 50's as well, and ended up dying from it at age 68. I always though he died of pneumonia. My Mom told me the truth just recently.

So I grew up with parents who I would consider "responsible social drinkers" and now have recently found out that I have a terrible family history of alcoholism.

What brought on the conversation with my Mom, is that she came over yesterday morning crying. My Dad had apparently drank half of one of those BIG JUGS of vodka the night before, which she tells me is normal. He got up around 3 am to go to the bathroom, and fell. He somehow (dont ask me) broke a main water line in their condo building. Water started spewing out full blast and Mom says that Dad just got right back in the bed, and rolled over and went to sleep. Meanwhile, she is throwing her robe on, running downstairs and knocking on the neighbors door b/c she knows this water is soon (if not already) pouring into their unit as well. Sure enough, it was pouring down their walls. Maintenance was called, but not before their condo was flooded through their bedroom. Dad went back to bed.... slept through the vacuum hoses, everything.

Mom is devastated. Could not go back to sleep, so came over this morning for coffee. I asked her tough questions, and she said he "falls" on a regular basis in the middle of the night.

I NEVER saw this stuff growing up. He also was recently diagnosed with diabetes. My Mom thinks he might not make it another year.

So I dont know if that answers anything, but it sure raises some questions for me! I personally think that certain people can try alcohol and never be drawn to take it out of hand, and others immediately take it out of hand. I am one of those. I dont know if this is ever a conversation I will be able to ask or have with my Dad. Our relationship has been strained for years.

Glad I'm not the only one wondering these things!!

Allie

[RoseKat]

Nature V Nurture

I think nature is definitely the more powerful influence, at least for me. My parents didn’t drink at all at home when I was growing up, so I really wasn’t exposed to it by way of “nurture.”

My maternal grandfather was an “occasional” alcoholic, binging every chance he got. Grandma kept him pretty much under control, but I later found out that he had bottles hidden in every nook and cranny.

After a couple of divorces, my mom (in her 50’s by then) was drinking daily but we didn’t know how much. A few years ago, the authorities at her retirement home found numerous empty Zima bottles under her bed. (She no longer has access to alcohol and suffers from dementia and diabetes at age 77.)

Today, my brother and I are "problem drinkers" and my sister has had problems with it in the past. She divorced a few years ago and now drinks only occasionally as she can no longer afford it. That’s probably for the best for her. But the gene definitely does run in the family.

Now I have to worry about my own kids, like Becca was saying. This will require a sensitive discussion and ongoing awareness. Vigilance. I don't want them to ever get hooked like I have been. Let my lesson be their lesson.

[Going Strong]

Nature V Nurture

How Would I Know!

How Would I Know! All I know is that on my Fathers side everyone drank! My Dad hardly ever drank at home but ended up in AA (by the way he has never had a drink since!) but I know his grandmother had to go to detox regulary and thats about 50 or more years ago!!! But not talked about. My maternal side was that grandfather drank too. Big amounts and could get nasty but did mainly keep it in control. I never learnt to drink in my family, but when I went into the big wide world I embraced it slowly, surely and then with a passion! My mother-in-law taught me how to drink! Coz even now when I go to my family gatherings there is hardly any alcohol! Go figure?

[Bambino]

Nature V Nurture

What a WONDERFUL insight into everyone's experiences.

Do you know though,
I am at the top of the list for IVF ( after 8 years of waiting )... I just have to pop into Liverpool and they will take my eggs ( and Lee's 'you know what' ) and Tally Ho !!!
But I am not going to do it right now.. Because I DRINK. FULL STOP.

And also what heritage does that bring to a young human being?
None ...
So I will sweep my emotions and desires under the carpet... Because It's not fair ( on he or she ).

Liz

[Bambino]

Nature V Nurture

Disco !!!

I can't email you personally because you have put a block on your e-mail situation... Would love to read that info tho... And P.S what is an Ezblock ?????

[gateway]

Nature V Nurture

SO here is my thought for this beautiful day in Minnesota and where ever else ------
LETls JUST LEGALIZE POT.

[Bambino]

Nature V Nurture

OH MY WORD Gateway... Hit the nail right there !!!

[Bambino]

Nature V Nurture

Post-script Gates, Weed IS legal in UK now....