Well, I`m still sober and happy to be so. I am now 22 mnths sober, save for a slip at the 5 month mark. I am no longer in the least tempted to drink......I feel confident that I have this thing `licked`, but not that confident that I would ever allow myself to have `just the one` at a wedding or such like.........after all, we all know the full horror of what `just the one` is likely to bring any of us. I am what I now like to term a recovered alcoholic, i.e., I no longer have an active dependency, but I will forevermore have alcoholic tendencies and so I can never drink again.........not ever.
I have just begun my 7th month as a non-smoker. This has not been plain sailing either.........I remain addicted to nicotine.........I am one crabbit girl if I have no nicotine gum, but I feel confident that I can eventually wean myself off of it.........I said EVENTUALLY!!!! lol One thing is certain..........I will not go back on the fags.........I would have to be crazy, given my success to date.
As many of you will know, I more or less disappeared from cyber world a few months back, but I needed time away, to take stock of my life........I simply needed to be on my own.........it has been a very difficult few months and I am working hard to learn how to just appreciate that I`m alive.
I have always believed that the real hard work comes after we quit drinking and I have yet much work to do. So saying, I think I have learned a great deal along the way, much of it from some of yourselves..........I thank each and every one of you who offered me much help, advice and support in my darkest hours, of which there were many!!!! lol
My head just hasn`t been in the right place to be here this past while, mainly due to my failing health.........it`s pretty ironic and rather sad to think that now that my body is no longer subjected to all the toxins in booze and fags, that I am so unwell. I`d like to stress that I do not have cancer, but my consultant wants me to go on a chemo drug.........naturally, I have grave concerns over such a drug.........I have to decide soon and am having difficulty weighing up the pros and cons..........it`s a tough one.
All in all, I`m picking myself up now............there are so very many people worse off than myself. I am sober and a non-smoker these days...........it doesn`t get much better than that, sure?
I hope all is good with you all.
Much love,
Star xxx
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