Day 4 of tapering .. kinda bloggy

[startingover]

Day 4 of tapering .. kinda bloggy

Well done!!!!!
Very proud of you!

[42cat]

Day 4 of tapering .. kinda bloggy

!!

[Preciouspinot]

Day 4 of tapering .. kinda bloggy

I have been reading your progress and am very impressed. :goodjob: I did the medical detox which was very comfortable but, i did sweat alot the 1st night and then some the 2nd night. It does feel great to rid yourself of all those toxins!

I did want to add here that I drank between 1-2 bottles of wine (regular sized not huge) a night. I read on some threads people consuming this much as well and not thinking its "that" much. It is.

I think a lot of people stay in the denial because as you stated earlier Cat.... we drank steadily and most of the time we were not drunk...just maintaining a buzz.

[CS04]

Day 4 of tapering .. kinda bloggy

If I were using beer to detox, I wouldn't need to detox! (Sounds like the Atkins Diet -- eat lots of red meat and bacon and lose weight!) But I am glad it is working for some of you.

[Lavande]

Day 4 of tapering .. kinda bloggy

Cat and Theme,

I'm not really familiar with what you are doing but it it works and you feel good - then go for it.
As long as you are making progress toward your goals, no problem. We are all different and have different learning methods, just glad you've found something that works for you.

Peace & Blessings.

[brittzak]

Day 4 of tapering .. kinda bloggy

PP I drank the same as you sometimes more on the weekend. I suffered terribly when detoxing. I didn't have seizures, but the anxiety was HORRIBLE. One can kid themselves if they want to 1-2 bottles of wine a day, is a lot of alcohol. I quit cold turkey and it was not fun for several days....I felt like CRAP!

[42cat]

Day 4 of tapering .. kinda bloggy

I totally agree that what works for some may not work for others. Complete detoxing is a scary process. Comparing mine to what some of you others have gone through, I'd say I got off pretty easily. I've read some horror stories.

I used AL this time, just like he'd been using me all these years. I feel very fortunate that I was able to do it this way - and not overdrink during the process. Being angry at myself and AL helped tremendously with this.

I thought I'd also mention that something that's really been helping me through this are the notes I'd made of how I felt each day. Whether you taper or go cold turkey, with or without meds, journal about it..... because it's sooooo easy to "forget" physical feelings, pain, etc., when we're finally feeling well .... BUT if you have notes to read and re-read, it'll bring you right back to how you felt.

Good luck to everyone ... may all your paths lead as far away from AL as you can get.

...... P.S............ I was/am a little worried that someone might read my post, decide to try it the way I did it, and either need medical attention during detoxing, or have it backfire and drink way too much. I wasn't really sure what I was doing, but crossed my fingers and jumped in. It worked for me....... But please, promise yourself that if you decide to do this (or how ever you decide to go about it) you will be careful medically, and be ready to (a) tell someone if you've been keeping it to yourself, and (b) head to the hospital the moment you think you need to. Try not to be afraid - but please have a plan just in case. Don't hurt yourself...... I was really surprised at the extent of the withdrawal that came with tapering. I can NOT go through that again. I won't.

[42cat]

Day 4 of tapering .. kinda bloggy

Thank you, Zen!

And thank you SO MUCH to everyone for listening to me this past week. Please know that I couldn't have done even this much if it weren't for this website and you all. I appreciate everyone's time in reading my posts lately - I do tend to be long-winded .. but it's so therapeutic to write it all out.

Update - Had my first full 24-hour day AF the other day. Also, I've had absolutely no rum or vodka at all since I gave it up last week, opting for beer instead during my taper-down. In fact, I still have a half-quart of hard AL stashed away that I have to pour out. I shall have a good-bye ceremony for him.

I have had the odd beer since levelling off (but only later in the evening - no earlier than 8:30/9:00'ish p.m.). I can't believe I've accomplished this much so far. This time last week, I was coming out of yucky withdrawals from drinking a quart of rum or vodka every single day. What a difference a week makes. I am truly a new me.

It feels absolutely awesome to be sober throughout the day and night .. the sensation of drifting off to sleep, waking up without the shakes, enjoying a morning tea rather than a morning rum and coke .. wow. I even went to an event the other evening that I normally would have needed a few stiff drinks to go to .. I did it sober, and it wasn't difficult. Jeez, it's funny how the mind works when AL has it brainwashed, isn't it?

Assuming my follow-up bloodwork comes back OK later this month (I should have had it done back in March), I think my ultimate goal will be to moderate, with no more than 1-2 beers ever in an evening (say Fri. or Sat. only), and then only if/when I feel so inclined. I'm still thinking on that though. We'll see .. it's still pretty early in the game for me.

But, I am absolutely certain that I won't ever go back to the all-day hard drinking, or even have more than a couple of beers at a time ... I've scared myself silly with Googling about liver problems associated with drinking, and I know that even if my bloodwork actually comes back looking good (crossing fingers), my liver could still be damaged and if I go back to daily hard drinking it could be deadly, and I don't want to die. I've got too much to do! Hell, drinking that much for so long - it can't be in perfect condition......... (In fact, if you're looking for a new anti-drinking strategy to try, Google alcoholism and liver .. it's not pretty.)

Anyway, that's me so far. How goes the fight for you all? .... Here's to a good, happy, sober weekend. Be good to yourselves, and your liver.

Thank you again, everyone. Love you all!

~Cat

[brittzak]

Day 4 of tapering .. kinda bloggy

Cat,
I have followed your posts very closely. Not sure why you have stuck out more than anyone else for me, but you have. Maybe for some reason I see my own struggle in your fight for sobriety and just want you to know you can do this. When I came here...not unlike you..I was drinking 24/7 too. You are doing wonderfully. Life will start to feel and look so different for you. Hell, you will actually know there is LIFE. I kinda lost bits and pieces of it there for awhile. I just want to say I am glad you are here. Take your quest one day at a time. The future will be what it will be....don't look to far ahead as it is overwhelming at first. One day at a time...much love to you and a ton of strength.

[believer]

Day 4 of tapering .. kinda bloggy

Hi Cat (and everyone else).

I was on this site about a year ago, and started doing really well. Then, at the end of July 2008, I was "let go" along with another approximately 200 people. This was after 17 years of "faithful" service. It was a bit of a shock, and I think I am somewhat depressed.

I've been working at home as a medical writer (at about 30% of what I used to make), and unfortunately, the "temptation" is right here. I used to only drink after 5 pm (after I got home) but now it's easy to start early in the morning.

Cat...I don't want to hijack your tapering thread. Was hoping we could work together...I need to taper.

B

[Cinders]

Day 4 of tapering .. kinda bloggy

Believer,

Taper off if you need to. Do not hurt yourself anymore than you already have.

Losing one's career is devastating and I understand.

However, drinking does not help you recover from life's cr@p one whit.

I am glad you are here, I am sorry you went through heck, and I hope you can taper off successfully.

We are here for you, I just want you to know that.

Love,
Cindi

[42cat]

Day 4 of tapering .. kinda bloggy

Brit.. thank you for those positive words. They mean a lot .. they really do.

Believer.. Don't worry about hijacking the thread .. ... I love these message boards. So glad I found them. Btw, I have been coming here off and on for a few years ... trying different things ... etc. This time seems to be sticking.

I am going to send you a p.m. ... hope that's OK. Hang in there and keep on trying to find a way to make working at home without drinking work for you. You can do this.

[Beaches]

Day 4 of tapering .. kinda bloggy

Just wanted to pop in and say that you are doing great Cat.

[Theme2be]

Day 4 of tapering .. kinda bloggy

I had a moment of silence for you from the personal recall of withdrawl from Vodka.
I wish you peace (typo was peach) in these moments of your experience, Cat~
I have followed alongside you, as we are in the same method , with the beer tapering.

You encourage in your courageous process this day.
Their is an anonymous program that says it is "progress not perfection".
There is progression, for you are in movement towards a specific goal.

When I get depressed, I turn to another "believer" because although this is individual we are a cumulative effort to improve our predicament.
In the time since you started to read this did you feel that a minute or two in time went by? Nevertheless, you did just move forward from the space and time prior.

We are apart of the ongoing. Every posts is a new sequence in the motion.
It's a beautiful thing, for you are in continuous favor~

Your better in quanity and quality.

[louise]

Day 4 of tapering .. kinda bloggy

So glad you were able to taper down successfully Cat. Hope it works for you too Theme and Believe.