Breaking a Vow

[time2change]

Some of you know my story and some of you don't, but today I have reached a point in my journey that I expected but am not prepared for. My divorce may have been amicable but I always knew in my heart I was breaking a vow. I felt that I could do that because he lied, cheated, and well I just can't list it all. But I realized today that in his mind addiction is a disease and when I said in sickness and health we both signed on for that. Addiction leads to lies and cheating. So to him it is me that broke the vow. I could go on, but I feel like this is just a small part of my problems right now. I have lost almost all my friends becasue most are big time drinkers. Doesn't make them bad, but I'm struggling to find people I can relate to. My older son is with his GF this weekend and younger one with his Dad. I have never felt so alone. Yes a big pity party for me.
I have done so well with being AF but today I feel like who cares. Why bother. Wow, I am not sure where all that came from, but I am going to get out of the house for a bit and hope I can get myself back on track.

[startingover]

Breaking a Vow

Hi Time2, it sounds like you are going through an incredibly tough emotional time just now...
The only bit of advice I feel I can give you is that these feelings will pass. Feelings always do wether they are good or bad. Thats the good thing about those negative emotions.
I hope this doesnt sound trite, but have you considered joining any organisations or clubs where you might meet people who have similar interests to you? I know what its like to look at what you have lost, but what about what you can gain?
Getting out of the house is a good idea.
Meanwhile I am sending you some hugs....

[CS04]

Breaking a Vow

Oh Time, I'm so sorry you feel awful. Loneliness is a huge trigger for many, including myself. Good move on getting out. Maybe go see a movie or the library, so you have something to keep your mind from negative thoughts.

Also remember that re. your divorce, it takes two to tango. You should not take all the blame.

[cacky]

Breaking a Vow

CS is right. nothing is all your fault. everyone has a part. we are all here for you.

[Evie.Lou]

Breaking a Vow

I'm here, I care !!!

[rubywillow]

Breaking a Vow

Somehow, Time, your avatar looks SO appropriate today, along with your post - a delicate little heart, exposed to all the world. I'm sorry you feel so alone today, but there are people here at least that you can reach out to for words of comfort, if not arms to give you hugs. Hold onto these words, at least. We CARE about you, and may the future bring you peace.

[time2change]

Breaking a Vow

Thank you all for your posts and PM's. I am home and trying to relax. I have no idea why I am letting him make me feel so low but I am so glad to have all of you to lean on.

[Winefree]

Breaking a Vow

Time, I feel like the who cares at times too. I think it is the alcoholic voice in our heads that is trying to tempt us. Good for you coming here to post to let us know and support you. I am going through that loneliness time too and either go to AA or come to MWO to help pass the time. Feel better,

WInefree

[livingfree]

Breaking a Vow

Ok ... it's TIME to find some AF friends ... you seriously need someone in your court who is a trusted NON DRINKER friend to get out and do some things with! Start by checking out the programs for recovering drinkers in your area.... Sober Circle meetings, AA, Recovery meetings what ever ... just to meet some people.

Next - I think it is honorable to take your vow of marriage that seriously ... but hon - it takes 2 to break it apart ... no matter what you did.

Hugs

[Cinders]

Breaking a Vow

(((Time))),

I just wanted to send you a hug.

I will have been married 34 years tomorrow and some of it has been good, some of it bad and some of it great. Quite honestly, the last two years have been hell for my husband. Absolute hell as I try to get and stay sober.

But, I do recall he has put me through some of his own.

However, we do talk. We do sometimes just sit down together and touch. We do snuggle or hold hands at night in bed.

No, we don't go out on expensive dates or do many wild and crazy things. He is not like that. He has his routine and is uncomfortable outside of it.

I am pretty darned good just by myself. Sometimes that hurts his feelings.

I don't know. Marriage is not a perfect institution because people are not perfect.

I hope you can find a spark of happiness in yours and ignite it. Just concentrate on the simple things. The ones that really do count.

Like someone who is there for you when you really need them.

Not much advice, otherwise, but I do hope you get to feeling better about your life. I truly do. It is important to feel good about ourselves.

Love,
Cindi

[Forever]

Breaking a Vow

I can relate to this. My divorce is far from amicable but the feeling of being alone is devastating. When the kids go to visit him my house is so empty. I hate it.

As for me, I married for life. I truly meant the vows I said, but circumstances meant it just didn't work out. Faults on both our parts.

I hope you feel better and find peace.

F, x

[greeneyes]

Breaking a Vow

Time, My heart goes out to you to see you ache so. Meeting lifes challenges and healing processes are difficult times and there are highs and lows to them. With a lot of major life decisions there comes self-doubt and we with addictions have an abundance of that. Have faith in yourself. Did you read CS's post on Transition?

[Taz1]

Breaking a Vow

Hi Time2

I can also relate, separated 2005 divorced 2007 2 court cases very difficult time lots of wine taken to 'help'. Although the vows were truly meant, dont beat yourself up, I think nowadays our life is about chapters. Its not the divorce that counts its how we deal with it. In time you may relish the weekends off, This mothers day my kids were with their Dad I kept busy doing things I have always wanted to do but never had the time, then made mothers day another day when the boys were home with me. Time is a great healer.

This is a new chapter in your life, time to get busy, join new groups, make new friends and keep the devil at bay

Hang in there

Taz x

[hart]

Breaking a Vow

((((((T2C)))))))

Hon I remember when I divorced my first hubby. Even though it was might choice (he didn't want it) it still hurt like hell and yes I felt a failure for a while. But you know I hadn't ever luved him (I know that now) and I started hating him. So it was for both our own good. We have both remarried, him to a what do u call it, bought his wife so to speak from another country and I don't have any contact with him.

I and some others are going AF today, some started yesterday and we are going to support each other. You are welcome to join our little group, and we are also talking on the phone if you'd like.

It's time for us all to change and hon, it is worth it and we do care.:l:l:l