Any answers to these questions please . . .

[polaryzed]

I don't want to start a negative conversation but I keep pondering the Why of it.

My question(s):

Why do people have to start at Day 1 if they have a hic-cup in their agenda to become AF?

While it has been explained to me "it's just the way it is", I think the idea seems rather unfair and one which puts a person into a guilt induced state of mind.

Would the quilt not make some people decide to moderate or just keep drinking, so they don't have to face the inevidable and dreaded day 1 again?

Is this an AA formula or a general rule of thumb?

I am just trying to comprehend the whole concept of DAY 1 . . .

[hart]

Any answers to these questions please . . .

You don't, Personally when I get a string of AF days and then have like 1-2 beers, I state I have been AF 15 days, with 1 slip. I don't begin counting AF unless I have exceeded a couple of beers or 1 hard drink. But it's up to the individual. My 2 cents :l

[caysea]

Any answers to these questions please . . .

Hi All
Many of us here don't have much AF time myself included.I have a goal of staying AF.I have been AF for over a year and it has been hard work to accomplish this. I view myself as a non drinker. It doesn't matter what others do in regards to how they view their AF time but for me it would be going back to the old me if i had a drink. It empowers me to say I haven't had a drink in over a year.I had years of slips but that also went along with my old thinking never making the full commitment to being AF.I like looking in the mirror and thinking it has been over a year since a drink. Not a year with a few slips here and their.If I ever have a drink again it will be going back to day one with the memory that I once had been sober for over a year.It will remind me that I haven't gotten al out of my life.It is just another motivator in my tool box.It is very important to me.
Now as far as others I don't mind how you view or measure your progress.What ever helps you get al out of your life. Just mho that it helps as a motivator.

Stay Healthy and Keep Fighting
AF 5-16-08

[Lost Soul]

Any answers to these questions please . . .

hi!
How are you?
For me I'm lucky to be on day 18 and it feels great. I actually had to look at my calender to work out when my last drink was!
But when Im out of control and not doing so well, every hour of every day is hard to get through. I use day 1 in the sense of 'im not going to drink today' not for a week, a year or forever, because that would be too much to imagine and i'd be off to the offies!
Day 1 helps for me when im just getting back on the wagon but the longer I go it doesnt matter as much.
Little goals first then bigger ones!
I feel like i explained that really badly but oh well! I know what I mean!
Keep well xoxo

[brittzak]

Any answers to these questions please . . .

I DO NOT COUNT PERIOD...every day is a new day. I didnt drink today..YAY ME!!! I don't keep track anymore. I got so damn stressed out over the count it literally cause me a great deal of anxiety and stress. My goal is to be AF every day. I have drink 2-3 times the past year...for 1 day not 1 week like past binges. So, to start over in the count...NO why? I simply will not continue beating the hell outta myself esteem. I used to drink 24/7....I am doing GREAT!

[REPETE]

Any answers to these questions please . . .

Hello.......I feel that the Day one concept may work for some better than others, It is as individual as the person attempting recovery. One of the most important aspects of recovery, and living itself, is how you feel about yourself.......and of course......others.

[Accountable for Me]

Any answers to these questions please . . .

brittzak;633062 wrote: I DO NOT COUNT PERIOD...every day is a new day. I didnt drink today..YAY ME!!! I don't keep track anymore. I got so damn stressed out over the count it literally cause me a great deal of anxiety and stress. My goal is to be AF every day. I have drink 2-3 times the past year...for 1 day not 1 week like past binges. So, to start over in the count...NO why? I simply will not continue beating the hell outta myself esteem. I used to drink 24/7....I am doing GREAT!

Ditto, here.

Counting became obsessive for me. I am just coasting along enjoying my sobriety.

[fortoday]

Any answers to these questions please . . .

Absolutely, I hate all this counting, however long sober with the medals and the applause. Has scared me away completely. However, if I can stay sober for today then that's good. I Don't have to wake up tomorrow wondering what happened last night and can decide what to do for the rest of the day. It is up to me. No one ever poured the booze down my throat.
Heres to today AF as I see you call it.

:new:

[Doggygirl]

Any answers to these questions please . . .

This is a great thread topic - I think an important one here at MWO. I think this thread demonstrates that there are many different approaches and the key is finding the one that works for you. For me, my brain operates in a "give me an inch and I'll take a mile" mode. In 2007 I made a choice to "have just one" (yeah right) and my fall from the wagon lasted about 8 months with way more drunk than sober time in there. So for me, it has been critical that I stay extremely strict about my AFness. I do not want to end back up in that pit I came from, and I don't know how many more 8 month long relapses I have in me before it just kills me one way or another.

LOL - I quoted Caysea with the intent to say "what Caysea said...I have nothing to add!" But as usual, I added.

caysea;632973 wrote: Hi All
Many of us here don't have much AF time myself included.I have a goal of staying AF.I have been AF for over a year and it has been hard work to accomplish this. I view myself as a non drinker. It doesn't matter what others do in regards to how they view their AF time but for me it would be going back to the old me if i had a drink. It empowers me to say I haven't had a drink in over a year.I had years of slips but that also went along with my old thinking never making the full commitment to being AF.I like looking in the mirror and thinking it has been over a year since a drink. Not a year with a few slips here and their.If I ever have a drink again it will be going back to day one with the memory that I once had been sober for over a year.It will remind me that I haven't gotten al out of my life.It is just another motivator in my tool box.It is very important to me.
Now as far as others I don't mind how you view or measure your progress.What ever helps you get al out of your life. Just mho that it helps as a motivator.

Stay Healthy and Keep Fighting
AF 5-16-08

We are each responsible for our own sobriety. There is no one right way. But there also is no easy way - at least not that I have found.

Strength to all,

DG

[Lost Soul]

Any answers to these questions please . . .

Me again!

I've thought about this one a bit more, and think all the tools and recomendations we use to become and maintain a AF life
are ideas and concepts!
not rules set in stone.

A bit like faith lol!

We just apply them in our own ways, like some people after a period of abstinance may choose to and successfully mod. Some people choose to be long term abstainers.

After being AF for over two years in the past, the first time I slipped, I didn't just want to continue drinking to avoid day one, I genuinely didn't want to throw away all the hard work of being AF!

[Thankful]

Any answers to these questions please . . .

I think the idea of "Day 1" just makes people more accountable for their actions. Some people like the idea of stringing along as many days as possible actually AF. Some can post as many days as they want AF, but the last I checked AF meant "Alcohol free" not "almost alcohol free". Maybe the program needs more terms, like DF for "drunk free", who knows? This is just my opinion and everyone should certainly do what works for them. If counting gives you anxiety or you simply don't like it, then don't do it. It's not a requirement. You have to work this program for your own personal needs.

Fortoday I am sadden that people here who have truly achieved an AF life and received applause by the MWO family has "scared you away completely". That is not what this site is about. Again, if counting doesn't work for you then don't do it. But it does work for some and they should be allowed to post it and celebrate it. When I first came to this site, the celebrations of someone's AF achievement was extremely inspirational. I hope you can someday see it that way. I am glad you found your way back here. I wish you the very best of luck.

Love, Me
:l

[DriftyAlison0]

Any answers to these questions please . . .

Everyone is different. For me if you had one beer (or any alcoholic drink) then you would have to start again on Day 1. But that is just me. Others do it differently. And I can accept that. But thats my 2 cents anyways.

[Boss.man]

Any answers to these questions please . . .

You don't have to do anything! I'm not a day counter, but I've done it in the past. If it helps you, then do it. But if it doesn't help, then do that instead.

[louise]

Any answers to these questions please . . .

Welcome Fortoday! As you can see, there is no rule. Do what works for you. And I have seen people do "drunk free" counts. One creative person had in their signature line something that looked like this: 120/10/2. I think it meant 120 days AF, 10 days with drinks but moderate, 2 days of way too much.

[scrubbly]

Any answers to these questions please . . .

Just my 2 cents (and you can have change back too if you so desire) but I believe the prior reference to the "applause and medals" was the very traditional AA model where people are ONLY acknowledged with pins and public recognition for consecutive AF time. I think we all know that MWO folks will clap for you for 1 day of AF, 100 days of AF, 1 day of moderating, or even a day of falling off the wagon if you come here, post in honesty, and ask for support.

THAT is the great magic and power of this place!