Any answers to these questions please . . .

[TimeToLoveMyLiver]

Any answers to these questions please . . .

Sorry if I missed the point but AF means alcohol free. - NO Alcohol.

Don't get me wrong here, I admire anyone who wants to help themselves with the fight against al. Use whatever works for you. AF or mod, but in the true definition of AF I believe that if you are drinking and saying that you are AF you are stretching the truth to suit your situation whether you count or not.

[TimeToLoveMyLiver]

Any answers to these questions please . . .

Absolutely Zen.

But for people to say they have been AF for 1 year when they may have had a couple here and there does not actually equate to being totally alcohol free.

If people are happy to do that, that's fine with me. All I'm saying is that if you have even one drink in a year, it has not been an af year.

[livingfree]

Any answers to these questions please . . .

polaryzed;632907 wrote: I don't want to start a negative conversation but I keep pondering the Why of it.

My question(s):

Why do people have to start at Day 1 if they have a hic-cup in their agenda to become AF?

While it has been explained to me "it's just the way it is", I think the idea seems rather unfair and one which puts a person into a guilt induced state of mind.

Would the quilt not make some people decide to moderate or just keep drinking, so they don't have to face the inevidable and dreaded day 1 again?

Is this an AA formula or a general rule of thumb?

I am just trying to comprehend the whole concept of DAY 1 . . .

Hi Polar

When you presented this question, were you referencing this site in particular with the day one question, or quitting drinking in general? This site (My way out) was founded on the concept that some people could drink in Moderation. RJ also recommended that a person practiced a period of not drinking at all ... which became known as AF (Alcohol FREE). This was to give your body and brain a chance to heal so that decisions could be made with a new frame of mind.

So to help answer your question I would have to go back to RJ's guidelines. Moderation means you are still drinking. Your drinking would be in a controlled fashion that you determined. She also touches on being honest with yourself as to your consumption. There is a slip and there is a binge. We all know the difference.

So on MWO - if you are practicing a AF run - day 1 is the first day of NOT drinking. If you drink - you have moved over to MODDing (working to limit your intake).

If you are going to AA - any drinking moves you back to day 1.

At MWO - you are free to decide what is YOUR WAY OUT. Let's each do it our own way ... but let's not change the truth and meaning of words. Free means FREE, Moderation means moderation, slipping means slipping, binging is binging and SUCCESS is all in the eye of the beholder.

I hope you find your way out, and don't get hung up in the truth and meaning of words, but instead wake up each morning so certain that you are doing everything you can to take care of yourself, find the healthiest life, and feel great to be alive.

Liv

[TimeToLoveMyLiver]

Any answers to these questions please . . .

Zen, I'm a lover not a fighter.

I apologize if you think my comments are a personal attack.

I did not mean to seem judgmental.

That could not be further from the truth. I'm simply stating what I believe the definition of AF is that's all.

Sometimes I can be too literal. If this has offended you I sincerely apologize.

Regarding my position on the af ladder. -18 days. As I have stated I plan on going af on July 1 2009.

I hope and pray I can stay af. I believe I can. Only time will tell.

Take Care.

Brett.

[Eve11]

Any answers to these questions please . . .

Living Free
I think you gave a great explanation for the terminology here.

I believe the day 1 concept did originate with A.A. because in A.A. (unlike here where moderating is an option and is absolutely NOT an option in A.A.) any drinking is considered a major slip and reverts one back to the beginning. It is probably a huge motivator in A.A. as well to do the best you can to remain AF as one doesn't want to slip and go back to day 1.

I agree with the originator of this post however. It does seem too negative to go all the way back to day 1 if you have a slip. Because our rules here aren't as strict as A.A. and we are formulating our own plan of what our individual way out is I like the idea of the folks who post in ways that work for them e.g. AF 200days since __ with 1 slip. If that works emotionally better for someone I say do it.

Whatever we can do to make this work for us the best way it can psychologically - go for it!

Eve11

[Beaches]

Any answers to these questions please . . .

Hi Polar...I am also in the camp that I count total days AF and don't go back to Day 1 in a month if I have a good string going.

All AF days are GOOD days.

[LVT25]

Any answers to these questions please . . .

Personally I think it all boils down to one word: HONESTY

Listen to Livingfree "So to help answer your question I would have to go back to RJ's guidelines. Moderation means you are still drinking. Your drinking would be in a controlled fashion that you determined. She also touches on being honest with yourself as to your consumption. There is a slip and there is a binge. We all know the difference."

What is important is what is inside of each and everyone of us. Get (or stay) honest with yourself--it doesn't matter what everyone else thinks or does.

(great thread)

[Theme2be]

Any answers to these questions please . . .

What a treasure it is to be around reasoning conversation. It saves my life from death by alcoholism countless times.
How do you measure freedom?

I believe their are no limitations, only accomplishments.
If my norm was to go 24/7- being under the poisions spell- to then know gratitude at the experience of waking in the moment and watching the sun rise- as that was followed by the experience of feeling my life- in awarness of interactions with loved ones -as it unfolds into the sun going down~aware, alive in contact with the living.
In means of measurement that would equate to ONE day. The moments are timeless.
How is eternity measured?

To some the number/amount and the experience go hand in hand.
To some the symbol is a means of identifying, such as dropping to ones knees as with myself and putting my hands into the prayer symbol , against my heart because my gratitude is immeasurable.


Some use numbers as units of classification. I enjoy watching cooking shows on television and some of these gifted Chefs don't count or measure in the traditional means. They have a sense of what amount represents the formula or receipe for success.
Nevertheless, the outcome is still a magnificent accomplishment, with taste and beauty to the senses.

Whatever it takes to separate myself from death by alcoholism is in my heart a master technique.
Yet, techniques vary.
There are so many beautiful works of Art. They are often studied to understand how the effect unfolded the outcome. So many varieties of influences followed by attempts to create that expression.
Some were called a "Relief". It was because of its variations, distinctness, prominence and vividness due to contrast, just like us.

We are a projection of parts in the quest for relief.

If you tell me "One day at a time" is a beginning, I may go out into the wilderness where I keep tract with the elements required to keep me alive and not experience death by alcoholism.
To me, it is the achievement of results.
I don't know how to measure my desire. I don't know how to measure what a wish feels likes. How many portions of uniqueness does it take to create originality?

It is all sacred and pure.
It is in the details that apply to the lifesaving techniques to not know death by alcoholism.
Every word here is renowned as we complement one another to produce delicate means to the obtainable.
"A" word( or to some-" one") can predominantly bring relief and help reduce the intensity of the suffering in the struggle to not know death by alcoholism.

To consider ourselves fortunate to be amongst such importance as each discover what matters to influence and illuminate our souls -means we are rejected nor abandoned no more.

I wish to go have A moment.
In my way , its not invisioned as one, because The moment is not held to limitations as one minute also has 60 seconds. It is all relative and important.
It is To experience The abundance of each free breath.

I wish you inspiration as you compose your own repertoire.

Continually drawing on your kindred tones~

[Beaches]

Any answers to these questions please . . .

As always, well said Theme

[Cinders]

Any answers to these questions please . . .

brittzak;633062 wrote: I DO NOT COUNT PERIOD...every day is a new day. I didnt drink today..YAY ME!!! I don't keep track anymore. I got so damn stressed out over the count it literally cause me a great deal of anxiety and stress. My goal is to be AF every day. I have drink 2-3 times the past year...for 1 day not 1 week like past binges. So, to start over in the count...NO why? I simply will not continue beating the hell outta myself esteem. I used to drink 24/7....I am doing GREAT!

I am with Brittzak, every day is a new day.

Let others worry about "time in." I worry about today and am so grateful when I go to bed sober that it doesn't matter what happened yesterday or the day before.

What matters is today.

My futile $0.02.

Love,
Cindi