Anybody else have teenagers??

[crybaby]

The stress of teens isn't WHY I drink, but it sure does exist as a reason in the back of my mind. I know that I am the only reason WHY I drink, but sometimes I feel like the amount of patience necessary on a daily basis to just deal w/ teen drama is incredible. Plus, I know their hormones are making them wacky; their minds are not mature; plus they too are under a lot of stress. Anyone else trying to kick the AL beast while raising a couple of teens?

[CS04]

Anybody else have teenagers??

CB,
I have a son who will be 3 in Aug., and an 18 year old stepson. They are both good kids, but being a working mom and a stepmom is a handful! My husband said just today that the big kid had better shape up his mood in the mornings -- I understand being a little crabby when we get up, but he has been downright rude the past few days!

[cacky]

Anybody else have teenagers??

Cry, i have 10 year old twins. I have 50% custody of them. I get them for 5 days starting tomorrow. Oh boy..im a little nervous about it. My son is so loving one minute and so difficult the next. I cant drink when i have them...i know that but i will be looking for that drink by day 3. It is really hard and i love them so much.

[crybaby]

Anybody else have teenagers??

Cacky, I just PM'd you. I know your struggles w/ the kids. It can be so up and down. I know mine have seen too much in their 12 and 14 years. I don't want them to grow up seeing Mom staggering around drunk. I was actually horrible enough to call my 12 year old daughter a bitch one night. ( I would NEVER do that sober.) These are things I can't take back; I'm amazed at the number of 2nd chances they've given me. I'm convinced there is such a thing as Grace.

Good luck in the next few days; keep checking in w/ us when you get a moment!

Cry-

[choppersmom]

Anybody else have teenagers??

Cry, my son is just now out of teen years. He turned 20 this year! He has always been a good kid, however, he did go through a rough phase between 17 and just recently. Funny thing, I never drank around him before his "phase". My stupid thinking was that it wouldn't affect him. I was so wrong! He hated it when I drank, we fought a lot, and it's not pretty. Good for you not drinking around the kids. Trust me, it is ALWAYS an excuse in the back of your mind, but know they need their mom to be there for them with a clear head and sober. My son and I are great now, but I regret drinking during that period of time. While I am not totally AF, he is so super proud of me for modding and trying to be completely AF. Good luck. PM any time. You can do this, trust me they do get better with age!

[rustop61]

Anybody else have teenagers??

Cry

I have two teenage girls, 15 and nearly 17 so I know exactly where you are coming from. The main reason I want to be AF is to be better able to deal with all they throw at me. They are good kids but the hormones are raging at times!!! All I can suggest is take it one day at a time, that's what I am doing at the moment. Good luck.

Rustop

[universal]

Anybody else have teenagers??

Hi there,

I have an 8 (going on 15) year old daughter. She is usually a great kid but every once in a while is a total handful - moody, rude, disrespectful. And I am a single mom so it makes it even harder at times to not just say F*** it and grab a glass of wine to take the edge off. I am AF 8 days today and am starting to feel a lot better - I know we can do this!

It's hard but we can be strong.

Take care honey.

[Lavande]

Anybody else have teenagers??

Cry,

I'm a bit older.........I lived through 2 teenagers, they are 28 & 32 now. I didn't even start drinking till I was just about done raising them. Maybe it was a delayed side effect??????????

It is hard but you will get through it

[42cat]

Anybody else have teenagers??

Cry ... I have two girls (16 and 20) ... I know sometimes it can get stressful. Try to keep in mind that time passes so quickly overall, way too quickly for my liking ... seems like yesterday they were toddlers .. *sigh* ... Try to take it easy on yourself, and them, and make some good memories with them while you can (difficult as it may seem at times) .. because they will remember a lot from this time of their lives ... May the happy memories overtake the not-so-nice ones.

That said, I drank a lot until just two weeks ago, so I didn't really put a big effort into kicking AL until lately, so maybe I'm not really "qualified" to answer your post .... But I guess what I'm saying is to maybe try some different "strategies" in dealing with them ... and it might take the pressure and stress off of you at the same time .. which can only help in your fight with AL.

With regard to drama, etc. .... I sometimes just had to turn my head the other way and let it pass ... or let it go until they could talk to me on a non-dramatic level .. otherwise I'd go nutso ...... Maybe have a one-on-one chat during a drive, or a walk, or a forced shopping trip ... (LOL - Yep, when one of them was in a bad mood, I'd force her to come to the mall with me .. I'd start in the car by saying that I liked her hair or outfit today ... (usually she'd just reply with a grunt - ha) ... Then, at the mall, I'd say silly things like "that's a nice shirt over there" .. "check out these shoes" ... or "should we get an ice cream?" ... Sounds crazy, but after a while, she usually got to talking normally ... AND *bonus* it took the edge off my anxiety as well.)

Good luck with everything .. let us know how it's going with them!

[Prest4time]

Anybody else have teenagers??

I have a 22 y/o and a 19 y/o and I learned one thing... never react to their drama with drama. You have to keep your cool... keep calm. As they approach the teen years, they have begun to learn your "buttons". They will push them on purpose because it gives them power and makes you look stupid.

When you do not know what to do, just remember that YOU are the parent and they are still the child. Period. I often reminded my children that this was my first "go round" as being a Mom... I did not get a trial run. Seeing consistency in you will bring some balance. If you are an emotional time bomb, they will play off of that and use it against you. Try to enjoy them and find humor as much as you can!

Two down... one to go! (I have an 11 year old too:l)

[jessie]

Anybody else have teenagers??

Hi Crybaby, this cannot possibly be just coincidence. My children are 21 and 19, and I drank throughout their teenage years. And last night I was chatting via gmail with my daughter( I'm working in another country now) and she cracked and said she cannot remember happy days in our home because I was drinking. And I had thought that I'm not that bad???? I'm the fall asleep quiet type of drinker. I was/am so rattled. She always have been a very sensitive, black and white no grays shades inbetween child ,but now it is clear that she had been very, very deeply hurt. And I did say mean things when not in control. My son is a more easy going person - but who knows what might pop out there later? I deeply, deeply love my children - but I have messed up. I have to admit that. My daughter didd not, and still does not understand addiction. I suspect she still thinks you just push the glass away and it's as easy as that. Maybe she's right....
I was also a single mom - with lots of financial poblems - but now I wish I had not turned to wine for escape. I'm still struggling, but she sure deeply rattled me.
Hope this help you to make up your minds.

[DeeBee]

Anybody else have teenagers??

Hi Cry,

I too have a teenager -- a 14 year old daughter.
Recently she took to burning herself with a lighter to make what is known as "smileys" well I freaked to say the least.
We (yip, both of us) are now seeing a theraphist who is wonderful and both of us are really feeling the benefits. But through all of this, there has been this niggle in my head about all this being my fault. My party days must have affected her in some way.

I am reading a book called "Straight Talk" which I posted about in "What are we reading" if you are interested. It has helped me understand what sort of repercussions I can expect from being a drunk Mum.