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[Mackeral]

Hi all,

I know i have been selfish latley just coming on here and posting about myself. I got my date just now for going into detox, July 2nd, which is a week on Thursday..I should have had to wait longer but lisa was on the phone today badgering them.. She had to..I drink 24-7 now..I was drinking bacardi at 10am this morning an am now on vodka...I havent cried for years but have the last 3 nights non stop..
I have forgot what its like to be sober..I was on the phone to my dad earlier to tell him when i was going in and i couldnt speak, my dad asked how i was doing with a quiver in his voice and it just set me off..
Lisa is being a rock as usual..but anything can ware down after time..I sound like a drama queen i know but latley everything has become too much..I have even had stupid thoughts which i know are stupid and i have too much to loose but the fact that they are there worries me..
I have got too much running round in my head as you can proberly tell by my writing..Just happy and sad about a week on Thursday...

I cant wait to get out..

Love Macks:l

[DeeBee]

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Sending loads of strength to you Macks to stay strong until the 2nd -- it's just around the corner -- hang tight.

[Evie.Lou]

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Try Baclofen !!!

[Guest]

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Macks, I will be thinking of you.

[42cat]

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Sounds like you're at your turning point .. Be strong and hang on .. Next Thursday will be here in no time. Your new life begins then.

*hugs* to you.

[veritas]

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Good luck, wishing you all of the best.

[startingover]

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Macks, hang in there buddy, things will be looking brighter for you and your family very soon :l

[Prest4time]

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Macks,
I'm so sorry you are struggling so much and as the others have said, this week will go by fast. Is there anyway Lisa can help you taper down just a bit between now and then and get some "water" time in here and there? Are you able to at least eat healthy and drink some water? Sorry about all the emotions too.... but just remember these dark emotions will pass when the alcohol is out of your system. You will be so much happier very, very soon though, so dont let those dark thoughts you mentioned take over. Just remind yourself those thoughts are simply the result of the alcohol and that once you get into Rehab and get it out of your system, your thoughts and emotions will turn positive as well.

Sending you and Lisa both loads of hugs and strength~
Allie

[brittzak]

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Macks...you are loved...here and I know at home!!!! Lisa and the kids LOVE you. YOU WILL GET BETTER! Trust that you will beat this. You can beat this. You are a strong and loving man. You are taking a huge step to make yourself better for you and for your family. BRAVO for you!!!!! Of course you are emotional. Who wouldn't be....you go and get better with your head held high and come back here and be proud and share with us your sobriety..OK. Much love to you and your family.

[cymru]

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As always mr macks, my thoughts and prayers are with you my friend. Just hold on till you get to rehab. I truely hope you and rehab can work together to help extingush this terrible disease. Take care mate.

[Tabbers (a.k.a. KTAB)]

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Hi Mackeral, July 2nd will be here before you know it. Keep strong till then, it sounds to me like a lot of people here and elsewhere care very much about you. It will get easier.
Keep safe
KTAB

[Mackeral]

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Me and Lisa have just had a good chat and a cuddle for the past hour or so.. No dark thoughts tonight..
I passed the messages on to Lisa..She is such a good wife..And BEST friend.. And it makes me so happy that people here know how special she is.. I feel selfish that shes mine.. I talked to her saying when i'm away she could help a lot of people here because she has so much experiance and is so understanding..

Anyway talked to the kids aswell..planned a holiday around christmas and the hole mood in the house has been better..Its been so down recently..

Dee, Evie, Zen, Limers, 42cat, Veritas, Starts, Allie and Brit...Thanks i take all you say to heart..Allie Lisa has her hands very full but still makes sure i eat well..Proberly not had water for a while but will take that on board..Saying that stepped out the front door today for the first time in about a week...Just went for a walk with lisa through the feilds....Will all change soon...

Thanks again:l

[Mackeral]

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Thanks CY and KTAB, i hope so...wont come soon enough..

[brittzak]

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Macks,
I can remember a time when my days ran together and it seemed I hadn't been out of the house for days. Someimtes when I would sober up I would wonder what day it was. How many days did I lose...because they all start to run together after some time. You feel like you are in this dark tunnel...but buddy I PROMISE you, there is a light at the end of it. AND come July 2nd...you will begin to see it. You will remember what sober life is and once you get a taste of it again and these poisons are gone from your body you will be strong and you will be able to fight this. July 2nd is just a few days away....you love your beautiful wife and children and know when you return you are going to be the healthy, loving man you know you can be. I do hope Lisa checks in with us and lets us know how you are doing...we always go through these journeys together. We do care!

[Preciouspinot]

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Wishing you all the best Big Mac! Hugs to you and your family.