What i have learnt

[Karl1981]

hey all just checking in.

Well i have learnt something this week. is not really positive but here goes.

I have learnt, that people dont for get that your a drunk. they dont forget that if you have a few too many that you turn into not a nice person. people cant see passed the last time. theres always a stigma, always a worry that something might happen.

Ive been trough a ruff time with drinking, locked up many a time. lost a lot, well every one that i care for due to drinking. but i still do drink. the thing is i dont drink to excess when im with another person. maybe to make them realise that i can drink and not turn into the ass hole i usualy become.

I now drink to excess by my self at night at home. where no one can see what im doing. its gone from red wione to vodka, and a lot.

I think it has some thing to do with the show intervention.the change of drink from 2 bottles of red every night to a half or nearly a full bottle of vodka a night. im not sure why i have changed to vodka, but boy is it addictive.

i dont realise how much i drink untill i try to stand up. and then it hits me..

what im trying to get at is that sure i drink way too much. but i will no longer give people a reason to hate me being a drunk, i do it to my self by my self..

just had to vent..

Karlito

[cacky]

What i have learnt

Karl, that sounds so sad. you deserve to like yourself too. have you thought about posting or joining chat so you can be with people who understand you when you are drinking. frankly we dont care if you turn into an ass. just that you can learn from it and hopefully feel better about yourself. keep in touch

[Accountable for Me]

What i have learnt

Karl, I went from 1.5 litres of red wine to vodka a the end. It wasn't pretty. The high on Vodka was very appealing. However; it almost ruined my life and has taken a lot of time to come back.

The stigma will go away. No one that I care about thinks of me as the gutter drunk. They see me now as a person who lost control a long time ago and has their shit together now. It just takes time and when people see you are making significant changes in your life consistently - their opinions change.

Trust me. Hang in there. Feeling sorry for yourself will only keep you in the bottle. You are so young and have so much life to live.

[startingover]

What i have learnt

Hi Karl, long time no see mate.
I am sorry things arent going better for you. But AFM is right, self pity will keep you exactly where you are.
Please get some face to face ongoing help with your problem.
Have you considered AA or anything similar? What about meds?
There is help out there but you have to ask for it.

[brittzak]

What i have learnt

I agreee with AFM...no one I love sees me as the idiot I was either. Put down the bottle and you will see. You may not drink in front of folks, but they can tell you are still drinking. They smell it and I am sure you look like you have been drinking. I looked like shit when I was drinking.....it is hard to hide a hangover.

[42cat]

What i have learnt

What Accountable said: "when people see you are making significant changes in your life consistently - their opinions change." Absolutely.

AND .. your opinion of yourself will change, too, when you start treating yourself well, making changes to better your life, etc. Little by little, it can get better.

Love yourself. Make a happy life for yourself. Think of how you want to "be" and you can do it.

(( hugs)) .. Hang in there.

[Cinders]

What i have learnt

Karl,

Dare I say one of the reasons you are alone so much is your drinking?

Alcoholism is a very isolating disease. It cripples us emotionally and spiritually.

If you would quit, you might find you like being around others a lot more because then you don't have to hide anymore.

Just a thought. Because I have been there and done that.

Only you can decide if you want to quit, though. That is a truth.

Sending you hugs.
Cindi

[tiptronic_ct]

What i have learnt

Karl, my 2c's worth:

I agree with the others. I used to be exactly the same: WTF has my drinking got to do with anyone else?

Boy, was I wrong: it has everything to do with family, friends, even colleagues.

Anyway: I wish you the best of luck. As cat said: hang in there!

[cymru]

What i have learnt

I can only agree with what AFM has said too karl. I quit for 5 years, and it took some time for family and friends to trust me again. But in time they did, and I gained the trust of everyone again. I know now, that it will take along time for the same people to trust me a second time. But that's my choice, I've done wrong, again, so it's me that has to put in the hard work, cause it's me who caused the harm to begin with.

[sammys]

What i have learnt

Karl do you want to stop??

I am worried about you.

Sammys