I failed... badly

[network]

Hi all,
yesterday i drank about 15 beers and i blacked out. Today in the morning i had to go and see my clients. I waited more than 16h after my last drink and then got in my car and drive. My clients office is about 3h drive from my place. During the drive i had to stop few times cos i was so sick. My breath stink of alcohol. When i got there i knew that they can smell my AL breath. They took me for a lunch. The best restaurant in town. I was forcing, i mean forcing myself to eat. It was like nightmare. I could not eat, i could not hold a fork because of shakes. Im sure they noticed that although they did not mention a thing. After the lunch(i have no idea how i was able to finish it) we went to the office and i was supposed to give a presentation for the new system they just bought from me. It required me to set up a lot of things on theirs computers. Again typing was a nightmare(the shakes), anyway somehow i managed to do it and actually the presentation went really well. They were very happy(i worked very hard, i even did stuff that they did not requested, i just thought that it might make their job easier). They were nicely suprised and they told me that they want to do another project with me. After the presentation and training their staff which lasted 5h they offer me to go out for few drinks as well they said that i don't need to drive back as i can stay at theirs place. I did refuse as i had such withdrawals i just wanted to be alone. I'm back home now, having my 5th beer. I have one more left. I did buy a 6 pack just to be able to go to bed. I am very sorry, i did fail terribly. I seriously need to think about it.

I wish you all the best.
Netty

[cacky]

I failed... badly

Network, i wouldnt call that a failure..just a bump in the rode. You made it through thank god but dont take that for granted. it sounds like it is time for you get some help.

[hart]

I failed... badly

(((Netty))))

Hon I hear you. I have dragged my ass to work after drinking too much and it's bloody awful. I don't think I smelled of beer but I sure as hell wasn't my best and if I hadn't been doing my job since the Dark Ages, I couldn't have pulled it off.

The worst thing I ever did was take a triple energy drink, caused a terrible reaction so never do that. It's rather a joke hear in the office, now, they offer me energy drinks or I ask for a sip of theirs and everyone yells no.

I'm so glad you didn't drink with your co-workers and I understand using tapering to help with things.

But today is a new day, let's pledge to at the very least cut down. I know I am going to for the next days because I don't want to be drinking when we have Evan for two weeks. Take care hon.

[network]

I failed... badly

thanks Cacky and hart. I need to address my problem properly. I need to find the strength which i hope i have.

[cacky]

I failed... badly

We are here for you. We can help. Keep checking in with us and let us know whats going on. we are all in different stages but we have all been there (believe me i have embarrassed myself in front of vendors)

We are here to help

[network]

I failed... badly

How long the AL breath stays with you? How come after 16h i still could smell it? Is it normal?

[cacky]

I failed... badly

Net, i think it is. It gets into your pores. Depending on how bad your alcohol abuse it could be that your body is detoriating and you arent metabolizing it like you used to. 15 beers would take an awful long time to get out of your system. you may want to get your liver tested etc.

[Kimberley]

I failed... badly

Gosh Network, don't beat yourself up too badly - I, too, have been in a dreadful state at work and somehow fluked through. Just try to remember how bad it was and learn from it.

Chin up, and well done for posting on here. I have been too ashamed of some of the things I've done because of al to ever mention them again!

[Accountable for Me]

I failed... badly

I can smell beer on anyone that had more than a 'few' the night before. It really stinks. I can imagine that drinking 15 would take a couple of days to expel. Especially if you drink a lot and often.

Like Cacky said; the more your body deteriorates due to the drinking, it stops metabolizing it as quickly.

You are lucky you pulled that presentation off! I think it is a good thing for you to reevaluate your consumption. You don't want to lose your job.

You were once on Antabuse, were you not? Could that be a thing you could go back onto.

I have been where you are so many times. My life became unmanageable a few years back. Those hair of the dog days. Shit, those were the absolute worse. Then the hangover kicks in around lunch. God, I am so glad those days are done.

There is hope. If you really want to get your life back; you really have to want it. You also have to be willing to utilize any tool that may help you.

Take care.

[Grim]

I failed... badly

network;648703 wrote: thanks Cacky and hart. I need to address my problem properly. I need to find the strength which i hope i have.

Hello Network, you will be suprised at the incredible strength of the human spirit! Have you thought about setting yourself some goals. The power of the human mind and the resulting resolve can be awe-inspiring.
All the best, I will be rooting for you as will all our other friends on this site!
Grit your teeth and hold your head up high and just believe that anything you want to do, really want to do, you can and WILL.
Regards Grim.

[network]

I failed... badly

Grim, i like what you've said. The thing is, in the bottom of my heart i know i can do it therefore i don't do it! Damn

[Evie.Lou]

I failed... badly

Netty please listen to me and try Baclofen. Will power is not enough for some of us. The Bac will give you the extra help to START your healing process. It's not a MAGIC pill but I am sure it will make a HUGE difference for you my friend. Get some L~Glutimine and kudzu in the mean time while you wait for the Baclofen.
I'm here and I care !!!
Please try this. What do you have to lose ???

[network]

I failed... badly

Evie,

I do trust you, i hope i can get this stuff down here in au.

[Evie.Lou]

I failed... badly

Check with 4RX on Zen styles bac thread. If need be you can order it and have it sent to me and I will send it to you ???
The L~Glutime and kudzu can be order from this site or bought at any health food store.
Let me know if I can help !!
Read the success others are having with Bac and you will see that HOPE is waiting for you.
You are NOT a BAD PERSON !!!
You are an alcoholic like the rest of us. It's a disease and can be treated with MEDS like other diseases !!!

Netty it's time to set yourself free from this......OK ..???..OK...!!!

[network]

I failed... badly

Evie
three things:
1. Alcoholism its not a disease its a weakness but shhhh(im gonna be killed here for saying this)
2. My first thought was to let you go and buy this meds for me and you can send it to me later, but then i thought it is too easy, so i want to do it myself. Do i need prescription for it?
3. Evie thank you. I drink much less now, i mean much less than i used to but i still think i have a problem, which i hope will go away.

P.S. All the best Evie. Thank you