Dealing with ALOT

[time2change]

Dealing with ALOT

To the person who sent me a message about leaving my Mother:

1 - I did not leave her alone....she was married at the time and was near my sister and brother. He has since moved too.
2 - I left so my husband, kids and I could have a better life. We never could have bought a house like this in NY.
3 - I did not go back when I got divorced becase I have a good job and a house here. I could never get a job that has great benefits and would be giving me at least a 7% raise this year anywhere else right now.

So since you know nothing about me why is any of this your business???

To everyone else thanks for your concern!!!

[dexterhead]

Dealing with ALOT

Oh Time, i was going to respond, and am shocked to see you got some kind of snotty message. Who the HELL does things like this?????? How can anyone understand the complexities of another's choices??? I have old friends who dumped me after my husband dumped me because they found it easier to blame me than to be true friends! Gaaaaah! I can't believe how blind and judgmental people can be so they can sit on some sort of high horse and feel better about their own insecurites.

well, I totally understand the loneliness, that is the worst thing I struggle with as well since my divorce. Best to you and to your mom :h:h:h

.. and whoever PMd Time like that ... SHAME ON YOU!!!!!!!!

[time2change]

Dealing with ALOT

Yesterday I had decided to stay away from MWO because of these type of things, but I'm still here. My Mom is not well today and I was not able to speak with her. I hope tomorrow will be better and I never have to deal with rude people who do not know me.

[cowgal]

Dealing with ALOT

prayers

Time, you have been so strong and here for so many of us, me included,I pray for you and your mom.....................you have made tough decisions and should be proud of yourself, this is just a "growing pain" and I know it sounds frivilous, but "this too shall pass":l.........................I am proud of you and believe that with time you will be stronger for this.......................hope you get in touch w/ your mom soon.:l:l

lots of love, sorry to be short but I am out the door in 5 min for work, love,:h:h

Mary Anne

[Tabbers (a.k.a. KTAB)]

Dealing with ALOT

Time2 pay no attention to the mean spirited person who took time out of their day to write you that poison PM. What satifaction people get out of judging others like this is beyond me, rise above it, there are people here who care for your welfare.

[Nics99]

Dealing with ALOT

Thinking of you today time sendin strenth and love to ya. I too know what its like living away from your family - I moved away 4 years ago, to another country.

In that time I've lost two brothers to suicide and my mother has been diagnosed with terminal cancer. So many times I have thought - I 'should' move back. But thats not the answer. We build our own lifes and unless we truely believe we would also be happy back home. (I know I wouldn't) its not the answer.

I know if I went back to London, I'd be close to my ma - but I'd also be misrable and probably resentful. Is that what she'd really for me??

Any hoo, like I said - thinking of ya xx

Nics

[Nics99]

Dealing with ALOT

oh and sod the rude people - no doubt they probably have NO experiance of a situation like yours and obviously have nothing better to do with themselves.........

[irish eyes]

Dealing with ALOT

Time 2 thinking of you, hope that your Mom is feeling better today.

[polaryzed]

Dealing with ALOT

Prays and Positive Energy going out to you Time2Change . . .

My heart goes out to you Time . . .

Thankyou so much for this post it has helped me reflect on my good fortune and all of the positive things in life. My oldest daughter lives 3000 miles away and while I miss her so very much and my 2 grandaughters, still I am proud of her for her morals, her strong will, and her loving ability to raise two beautiful daughters. And while I feel helpless at times knowing her trials and tribulations have been difficult ~ I know that they love me and the family.

Best of the best to you and your family Time2C . . . hope you and your mom feel better soon . . . :l


Hi Nics . . . :h I am lost for words . . . stay strong . . . we Moms only want what is best for our children and theirs . . . HuGGs!

[zhaul-san]

Dealing with ALOT

time2change;648871 wrote: I know that many of you are sick of hearing about how my marriage of 21 years ended a few months ago. Although, the emotional part of my marriage was over a long time ago I am having a hard time dealing with the lose of my family life. My older son told me recently he wants to move a few hours away to go to school (and live with his girlfriend). I found out this week that the younger son (14) has plans to go with his Dad on a trip that will have him gone for a few weeks and leave me alone on my birthday. Seems like the whole family has fallen apart, but I guess it was over for awhile. Today I found out that my Mom will be having surgery tomorrow. I feel so helpless and far away. I'm in FL and she is on Long Island. I have been here for 19 years and she has never forgiven me for moving away (in a nice way). But I am feeling really bad about being here today. I thought about moving back to NY after the divorce but stayed here because of my kids. But now I feel like the kids don't need me as much and I should have thought about my Mom and being closer to my family. Feeling really sad today, but am glad to be sober today and hoping to get in a better frame of mind after my Mom's surgery. Any prayers would be appreciated!!

I have been there, I did loose my family over years of craziness. I have been sober for about 24 years, but have I been totally crazy. Anyway, I did change my family, sounds selfish? yes! Today I am surrounded by people who know me, not in a way family does, but from being the same. My friends and companionship are alcoholics and drug addicts that are working their process towards soberness. The ideal scenario? Not at all, actually who wants to spend time with crazy people, even though I am crazy too. Just like the last paragraph in the 1st step, Who wants to spend time (and sometimes money) to pass the message? But today my life is out of loneliness, it is not what I wanted in life. I run a none profit rehab center and shelter. I haven't been with my family in 3 years. They live in Guadalajara, and I am in Merida, near can-cun in Mexico for the time being. So this is what I did discovered for myself, be with your own. do a lot of services to the community of whatever group (12steps) you might go. find true friends, takes time a lot of time, become a serious sponsor for new arrivals at the group. My motto "Do unto others what you would do to God, if he were human"

God bless you.

[DeeBee]

Dealing with ALOT

Big hugs Time.
I hope your Mom's surgery was a success and you have spoken to her since your last post.

[time2change]

Dealing with ALOT

Thank you all for your posts.
I was able to speak with her for a very short time today. She is in alot of pain and the pain medication is making her feel very sick. Hopefully she will feel better tomorrow.
I'll keep you informed.

[brittzak]

Dealing with ALOT

Time2change,
Glad ur Mom did well during her surgery.
XXXXX

PS....to whomever sent the NASTY message...if you have NOTHING NICE TO SAY, SAY NOTHING!

[Accountable for Me]

Dealing with ALOT

Time,

You are going through so many tough changes/times right now. I just want to send you lots of love and hugs.

I am with Britt in regards to the nasty message. If you have NOTHING NICE TO SAY, SAY NOTHING!

[doubter]

Dealing with ALOT

Time!

You have always been such a nice person here at MWO and my prayers are with you and your Mom. Hope her surgery goes well and she springs back to being her best.

At times even now, I wrestle with the morality of the deliberate choice that I had made to stay far away from my parents, so I can understand your thoughts in this matter.

Peace be with you, friend.