Why is this so f...ing hard.

[lookingforhope]

Reading so many posts...of pain and despair. From the ones inflicted with this to the families that have to bear it, because of love.

Was not from an alcoholic family, simply learned along the way from experience of life. And being in the personal struggle, am reading the posts.

How the hell did we get here? I don't know...do not understand why it is so powerful. It is seething away at many countries core (the more I read).

In a bigger sense, how can we even help ourselves, when it seems to be depleting countries! There is a huge problem out there. But it seems there is no way to impact the big picture.

It appears the problem is so big, so personal, it's not possible....

Or, is it?

[Kimberley]

Why is this so f...ing hard.

It's tough isn't it. My old alcohol counsellor once said to me "How are you letting your life go to pieces because of some fermented grapes?" Just thinking about that is ridiculous!

I think the whole problem is that society as we have made it is sick and getting worse (one reason why I'm not having kids in future). While you can not solve the problems of whole countries or societies, there is DEFINITELY space for you to work on yourself.

And it has always been very easy to get bogged down in being depressed about the state of the world (I have done this so much in the past), but there is little point in this, as no one person can change it.

So I now work in Social Care on a daily basis and have volunteered for the past 5 Christmases at a homeless centre (and every other Christmas after if I have my way), which helps me to have a positive input and help people who are suffering. That's my bit done, if you like!

For the rest of it, I am just going to try to enjoy my life free from alcohol and be the best person I can be. I don't think there's anything else we can do. At some level you have to accept the world as it is, even if you don't like it.

[startingover]

Why is this so f...ing hard.

Hi Looking,
I think Kimberley has nailed it there.
"I am just going to try to enjoy my life free from alcohol and be the best person I can be"
Thats all any of us can do.

Fantastic post Kimberley. Your attitude has made my day!!

[Popeye]

Why is this so f...ing hard.

Interesting.....

I have done a little research into this

Alcohol has played a part in enhancing our enjoyment of life throughout history. A little wine can make eating more pleasurable. Used as a social lubricant (I love that term) it can allow us to feel less inhibited and let our hair down and release the caged Party Animal within. The Ancient Greeks viewed intemperence with masculinity and were well known for their drunkenness and I think that this holds true in some modern contexts. In short, it's use has become ingrained in most societies and I agree with Kimberly in that there is something wrong with a society that needs to use chemicals to function in a way that it considers proper. But then, there is a lot of money to be lost if things were to change.
I believe that most people at some point have bad experiences with alcohol. Some learn early on that it's not for them and ether don't drink, or are very careful about doing so. Others find these bad experiences not harmful enough to make them stop 'enjoying' it's use because of the huge part it plays in their social life. I honestly think there are many, many people who have a drink problem and either won't accept it, or see it as necessary to function.
When I started drinking there was one day a year that I would buy a whole bottle of spirits. That was New Years Day. Drinking was an occasional treat. I used it properly but no for long. Looking back, I started drinking to 'cure' emotional problems more frequently than to enjoy an evening out. This escalated until I was drinking alone most of the time, and my New Years Day bottle appeared once a week at first, then every time I drank.
It's no longer a treat and it has taken me more than twenty years to see this and take some action. I've decided that I'm not prepared to be a sheep anymore. I'm glad that I'm no longer a part of the drinking culture, and that it's no longer a part of me. I have opted out.
People sometimes laugh at me because I'm different. Well I've started laughing at them because they are all the same.

[Waving_not_drowning]

Why is this so f...ing hard.

Most eloquently said, Popeye..

[Waving_not_drowning]

Why is this so f...ing hard.

"People sometimes laugh at me because I'm different. Well I've started laughing at them because they are all the same"

Didn't Ghandi say that? LOL

[Popeye]

Why is this so f...ing hard.

I saw it on a bumper-sticker.

[Waving_not_drowning]

Why is this so f...ing hard.

It's a great quote, none the less :-D

[Lavande]

Why is this so f...ing hard.

I'm right there with you Popeye!
I'm perfectly happy being my own person and being different!
Loving it

[Evie.Lou]

Why is this so f...ing hard.

Pops said it so well and the only thought I could add is that it's thru struggle that we GROW as spiritual beings. I no longer ask "why me" ???
I am at a place of being grateful for the person I have become because of alcoholism !!! The old saying "what doesn't KILL you, makes you stronger" is sooo true for me. Make sense ???

[Grim]

Why is this so f...ing hard.

Evie.Lou;655526 wrote: Pops said it so well and the only thought I could add is that it's thru struggle that we GROW as spiritual beings. I no longer ask "why me" ???
I am at a place of being grateful for the person I have become because of alcoholism !!! The old saying "what doesn't KILL you, makes you stronger" is sooo true for me. Make sense ???

Your comments make perfect sense Evie.

Great response Popeye & Kimberley!

LookingforHope, please do not forget that "a journey of 1,000 miles starts with one step", start with yourself, make yourself that one person who is not adding to the coffers of the massive Alcohol industry and the associated Marketing companies. I'll do the same....with you all the way!

I would love to be able to put a monetary value to the negative impact that MWO and it's members are having on the the alcohol industry. Think about it, everyday that you and I abstain/moderate successfully is in some way, although seemingly insignificant, having an impact on them!

Grit your teeth, keep you chin up and fight the good fight!

Regards

Grim

[tiptronic_ct]

Why is this so f...ing hard.

Well said, Grimmy!!!

[savon19]

Why is this so f...ing hard.

Grim - it's not that the alcohol industry is "bad", it's how we use alcohol that can be bad... (Sort of like: "Guns don't kill people; people kill people" idea! Altho' I've mixed feelings about guns.)

As Popeye said, to have a glass or two of (good!) wine with dinner can be a very nice thing. Having a bottle or two... NOT so good.

Sadly, most of us here can't stop at one or two drinks. Compulsive-obsessive, self-destructive, habit...addiction? Something like that!

[lukalee]

Why is this so f...ing hard.

And the people in the alcohol commercials are always so sexy and thin.

[scrubbly]

Why is this so f...ing hard.

I actually was reading some stuff the other day about people who are so mad about the DUI laws getting so strict - saying that things like searching cars for alcohol or drugs after a stop is unconstitutional, as are random sobriety checkpoints, etc. They say that groups like MADD, etc. are really just trying to institute Prohibition again...

And interestingly enough I thought to myself, "I wouldn't care if Prohibition came back, not at all, but think how P.O.'ed the industry and most of American adults would be!!" Too sad considering that alcohol really is a poison, it's just that in small amounts/with reasonable intake it can be tolerated by the body.