What to do If ? ? ?

[polaryzed]

Sooooo here I go, I have wanted to post / thread for abt. 3 days now but couldn't or didn't . . . so frecking depressed and I am not one who gets depressed very often . . . I like to think I am very positive and try to look at the Silver Lining but . . .

What to do when someone close to you is prego at 16, but pm the bright side she stopped cutting 8 months ago ?

Well, to begin with I guess, don't give in! First thoughts in spiral of depression were to go and buy Vodka, could use a real stiff drink and hopefully sleep would be awesome but alas did not give in!

The (significant other) man living with your (divorced) daughter has a groin injury from 3 years prior and does NOT work, the daughters daughter is prego at 16 and has a difficult time even getting out of bed through the day, then disappears for 2 - 3 days at a time. By the by she hasn't been to school since 14 years old (is that legal in Canada?) finds herself pregnant but she stopped cuttng 8 months ago. (They live 3000 miles away).

Sorry to write in the third person so to speak but I am so flecking upset that I can't think straight at the moment.

Any advise would be of help :upset: .

Please to forgive . . . did not want to bring anyone down but don't know where to go . . . :upset:

[tiptronic_ct]

What to do If ? ? ?

Polar, I can't give advice in your situation, just a big hug.

(((((((((((((((((((((Polar)))))))))))))))))

[Blue Sky]

What to do If ? ? ?

Hi polarysed

Boy has this girl got it tough. She's going to need a lot of support and you are so far away. I guess all you can do is let her know that you are there for her now and in the future. Hopefully this will be a life changing event for her and she will eventually resume her studies and be able to provide for her child.

Anyway, you can help her by knowing that she always has someone to talk to, and if necessary somewhere she can go to ....that means you stay sober! Sometimes being away from a situation can help you see it with more clarity than those immersed in it.

Best wishes.

[42cat]

What to do If ? ? ?

A classmate of my DD's (old friend, but they don't hang out anymore) just had a baby. She's 15. Some years back, a friend of my other DD's was pregnant and had a miscarriage, but went through all of the future "planning" before the miscarriage. It can happen to anyone.

It's hugely upsetting, especially in the beginning, and seems like it's ruining their lives, but it doesn't have to be like that. It's a baby. A precious life. Yes, it's a big responsibility; not to mention the money that will be required .... but it doesn't have to be "bad". The dad is going to have to help out, at least financially .. he's going to have to find a way. ...... The mommy sounds like she needs some counselling / therapy ... that would be a good first place to start ..... And getting an education is always totally doable, at any time ... take a year off if needed, it's OK. People will help. Family will help.

Just take it one day at a time ... Don't let it get to you ..... Be supportive if/when you can .... help her make a plan... ((hugs)) ..... It will be OK.

[startingover]

What to do If ? ? ?

Polar Bear ((((((((BIG HUGS))))))))
I have no advice either.
The only thing I can say is look after your own emotions. Stay sober and strong.
There is probably not an awful lot you can do in this situation as people always do what they want.
All the very best to you and your family.

[DeeBee]

What to do If ? ? ?

Polar, I recently found out that my daughter was self-harming at the age of 14 -- after many tears and blaming myself I too came here for advice.... the best thing we did for my daughter and ourselves was to take her to a therapist to help her understand why she is doing this and to help her answer that million $ question most of us are still asking ourselves as adults "who am I?"

I can't begin to explain to you how powerful therapy has been for us as a family -- my daughter is alot more aware of who she is and how she fits into our little unit and as parents we are more aware of just how difficult life is for teenagers today.

My suggestion to you would be for her to get some sort of therapy and for you to do like Starts and Cat mentioned and look after yourself first and foremost.

Sending you and your girls strength during this trying time.