Coming Back....

[middlepathpilgrim]

Hello All,

Well, did well for six months or so, but I need to come back. Stress beyond anything I'd thought I'd see. Husband laid off-- I'm now full time provider with little or no net---spending time thinking about when to put the house up for sale. Serious, as in come Dec. we've got to cut and run or we're in forclosure. Serious stress. Got the eye tics and all....

Never thought I'd say it, but wine and cigarettes have become a dire need for me. Just insane when you're watching every bleeding dollar. This time however, I'm on meds for a bleeding ulcer---to the tune of $150 per month. Did two months on the meds (with over the counter) and healed. Went off and all fell apart. Either the wine and cigs go, or my stomach. I'm 48! Didn't realize how destructive AL is on the system until now. Didn't realize how deep in I was. Great thing, thoug. Have a fantastic MD and will call him in the AM for a renew on my Topomax. He's on my side. Stomach will heal if I just lay off the wine. Started Chantix on Monday for the cigarettes.

Husband has stopped drinking... trying to lose weight. Sigh. Should be a choice, eh?

Deep sleep tonight and I'll see you guys in the morning.

Glad you're still here.

G

[Old Soldier]

Coming Back....

I wish i was like other people here that seem to have a great way with words. My hopes and thoughts are with you. I cannot fathom the amount of stress you feel right now, but i suspect drinking would help. Maybe a brisk walk around the bloc exercise does wonders on stress. if this doesn't work you should ask your doctor about a drug called klonosapam, it is commonly used for anxiety (the reason i take it occasionally.) It also seems to do well on those pesky withdrawal symptoms, at least for me. just be careful because it can be addictive. I really wish you luck and hope your situation improves soon. Things will get better.

[middlepathpilgrim]

Coming Back....

Thanks...

You do have a way with words, Old Soldier. True and from the heart. Nothing better, nothing finer. Thanks for being there....

G

[New Creation]

Coming Back....

Dearest G,
I am so sorry for all that you are going through! I will remember you in my prayers and trust that God will get you through this. All that I can offer as advice is that I know, personally, that life always looks so much more hopeful when I am not drinking. My life has been full of so much pain and I have loved the moments with my wine when I can just zone out from the reality of all that I am facing. However those MOMENTS of bliss are so few compared to the HOURS of guilt and shame and physical discomfort and hopelessness that I always have to suffer afterwards. Love the bliss but have come to the point in my life where I am deciding that even though I am still suffering with the same circumstances, I have so much more hope and feel so much more joy in my life when I do not drink. Praying that you will have the strength to do what will bring you the greater joy......

[Kayla]

Coming Back....

Hi Middle Path

Great that you're back and doing something about your drinking and smoking. I can really relate to the situation with your house and health and the severe stress that imposes. We had to sell our house last year in a similar position.

Sending lots of good wishes your way, Take care x

[The New Me]

Coming Back....

Hello Middle Path,

I also have no job, and can totally relate to your stress.
Talking about your gastric problem - I have suffered from it, no ulcer, but still pain, nausea, etc. Doctor put me on antiacid. However, I found much cheaper and healthier way to deal with it. After doing research, I learned that many vegetable juice relieve the symptoms and cure stomach inflamations. The juices are cabbage, ginger, or anything that decreases acidity - lots of info on the net.
Guess what - it worked for me, altough I am also a smoker. A decent juicer goes for $50-$80
They are also yummy and so good for you! Did not buy Zanac since Janaury!
Good luck and have faith.

[scrubbly]

Coming Back....

:welcome: Back G....

Topa is my friend as well, helped me on the path I've been treading so far.

The tic I had for the first few weeks has mercifully subsided, hope yours does soon as well.

Take good care of you!!

[Bluesy]

Coming Back....

Hi MPP- I am a newbie (10 days AF) but have found myself feeling stronger and better able to cope already! I'm sorry to hear of your troubles but hang in there. There are always open arms here and many wise people. It will be ok:bath2:

[DriftyAlison0]

Coming Back....

Middle for the cigarettes www.quitnet.com is very good. They even have a club for the chantix users. Its free to join and I would recommend it to anyone.

Good Luck.

[catnip]

Coming Back....

Good luck Middle, you have a lot of support here, it does help thinking of everyone who is thinking of you right now. Nothing lasts forever.
All the very best.

[Evie.Lou]

Coming Back....

Welcome back !!!
Sounds like you have a GOOD plan and it is great to have a Dr. on your side !!!
You did it before...know you WILL do it AGAIN !!!
We are here and WE CARE !!!!!

[Lavande]

Coming Back....

Welcome back G,

Hope you are feeling better!
I cordially invite you and any of the other 'newbies' to jump in our nest - a thread called the 'Newbies Nest' in the Just Starting Out section. It's a very warm & inviting place to settle in and smoothe you feathers a bit.

Wishing you the best!

[sunshine_gg]

Coming Back....

Welcome back.. and I know JUST where you're coming from

[middlepathpilgrim]

Coming Back....

Thanks... Hanging in there

You guys are still and always wonderful. Thanks so much for the replies and wishes. Want to explore the juicing... once had a wonderful tonic with ginger that just made me feel, well...fantastic. Can't remember you all by name, but each and every one felt like a big hug. Thanks for being there.

Today's been strangely hard. Woke up with the eye tic instead of my two hours at work and it shows. Not good. I'm utterly depressed, no humor, want only to crawl in a closet and close the door (as opposed to curl up in bed with a book or tea/wine and devil take hindmost). Had two people at work ask if I was okay. Have felt this before on antidepressants and a quick Google tells me that Chantix will do the same. Not taking any tonight. The doctor's office renewed my stomach meds, so am back on those. Tried for the Topomax, but again, it's $150 for 10mgs. I've got a supply of 25mgs in the house and will look into splitting those.

Took all the supplements today and only 1/2 bottle of white wine tonight (better than the usual 2). Will take my Xanax, warm bath (who did that emoticon? made me smile big! XXOO) and head to bed. And husband has a second interview next Friday and I got the pine sap out of my 7-year old's waist length hair without tears. Good things. Keep on the sunny side, eh?

Good night friends and again thank you.

G